The Thousands

Before discovering Eggless Dessert Café my sleep was plagued by nightmares involving Morrissey, myself, and one of us being publicly berated for suggesting we get desserts from a place that smells like ‘burning flesh’. In these dreams my idol would humiliate me in the middle of the street, onlookers would scornfully shake their heads at me and the occasional radical would tell the Moz to punch me in the face. It was embarrassing to say the least.

Fast forward to now and these once were nightmares have morphed into heartwarming fantasies. Morrissey and I seat ourselves at Eggless and talk about a myriad of things whilst eating our sticky date and raspberry pudding and almond latte cheesecake respectively. He commends me on choosing a vegan/ lacto-vegetarian establishment for our meeting and says he likes the fact that the menu changes monthly because he always gets to try something new. After a brief discussion on quiffs he tells me a Smiths reunion is in the works and I get all giddy like a schoolgirl. It’s usually about then that I wake up and realise it was all a dream… again. Here’s to hoping dreams come true.