The Thousands

“All-you-can-eat” is a phrase normally associated with family restaurants, RSL clubs, suburban weddings, Queensland and other such manifestations of misery and death. Not so, Great River All You Can Eat Korean BBQ. Great River All You Can Eat Korean BBQ is pretty much the happiest place on earth.

It works like this: You and your friends share a BBQ grill, built into the center of your table. You go back and forth from a refrigerated bain-marie full of ALL THE MEATS OF THE RAINBOW. You grill said meats to perfection at your table. You pay 22 bucks. You waddle home. Also available are carafes of sickly sweet rose, a FREAKING VAT of sweetcorn soup, and enough kimchi to keep Pyong Yang in natural gas for a decade.

Tips:

- Try to stay relatively sober – drunk people are no good at judging when meat is cooked / not touching raw meat with their chopsticks.
- Load up on kimchi. Use it instead of rice – rice only fills your stomach.
- Plan ahead. Poop no more than an hour before you arrive. Failure to do so might result in the need for an embarrassing medical procedure known as an emergency B-section.