The Thousands

La Sing is somehow the funnest and most tragic place in Adelaide. The 12 dollar spring rolls. The kitsch disco lighting. The – oh my god – hilarious art school celebrity portraits. The androgynous cab driver who only ever sings Pat Benetar. The shy Malaysian couple with the pitch-perfect version of ‘Total Eclipse of the Heart’. Matt Banham’s disturbing rendition of ‘Give it to You’ by Jordan Knight. It’s a singular combination of desperation, hilarity, irony and boredom. I mean, it’s a karaoke bar. You know what you’re in for. What you really need to know is that it’s a mercifully short walk from East Taste, The Metro and La Boheme. Oh, and if it’s not in the crappy songbook, don’t be afraid to ask at the booth – especially if you have a hankering for ‘Jessie’s Girl’.

The three funniest things that have happened at La Sing:

1. An all-in brawl involving a gang of lesbians and a double-booked version of ‘I Touch Myself’.

2. The time my friend was pash-attacked by a tiny Lebanese hypnotist.

3. An incident involving two latently homosexual Samoan gentlemen and a mean group of Philippino preoperative trannies.

Sounds like I’m making this up, doesn’t it?