The Thousands

Thursday December 10

O Come All Ye Faithful
Joyful and triumphant,
O come ye, O come ye to Bethlehem.
Come and behold Him,
Born the King of Angels;
O come, let us adore Him,
Christ the Lord

O Sing, choirs of angels,
Sing in exultation,
Sing all that hear in heaven God's holy word.
Give to our Father glory in the Highest
O come, let us adore Him,
Christ the Lord

That's 30 seconds you're not getting back.

issue 006 - O come all ye faithful

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OUT: 'Resonate', ACSA Grad Exhibition

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Cover photo by Xixi Cao. If you would like to submit a cover shot email daniel@rightanglestudio.com.au

What:
Haunt

Who:
Robert Kirkman and Todd McFarlane

Where:
Pulp Fiction Comics, 34a King William St, City

How much:
Around $5.40 each.

View map

My best friend Neil and I went to see Spawn at Greater Union when I was a kid. He took LSD. I couldn't understand a word he said. I'm not sure what happened to Neil but one thing's for certain, that movie was a big deal for Todd McFarlane and that Mexican actor who played Luigi in the Super Mario Brothers movie. With all the nasty, gothic Batman movies getting a renaissance lately, surely there's another Spawn flick right around the corner. Until then, Todd McFarlane and co-creator Robert Kirkman have put their balls on the line with Image Comics' very rare, and entirely new release, Haunt.

This comic has all the trademarks of McFarlane's imaginative Canadian mind. Religious and sinister flavours come to life in the debut with amazing artwork, a unique story and a concept that gives you optimism for the entire medium. We open the book to find a priest screwing a hooker. Yeah, it's pretty bad-ass from there. Australia has a good history of banning books and video games, and in light of their wonderful performance I'd like to make a suggestion: ban this comic. Purely based on the whole priest nailing a hooker thing. There's no better way to get everyone interested in something than telling them they can't have it.

By Brad Dunn

What:
Exquisite Corpse

Who:
Warpaint

On:
Speak'n'spell

Now it's only an EP, so let's not shit ourselves just yet, but Warpaint are pretty f*cking awesome. Coming from the star-studded and smog-misted hills of Los Angeles, this trio of babes is making music that walks that fine line we never knew existed between Beach House's dreaminess and Lindstrøm's beatiness. And this debut, Exquisite Corpse, is six perfect songs of hazy vocals, building rhythms and what sounds like... a lot of opium.

The only downside to this release is that it only clocks in at thirty-five minutes. And while you could - obviously just in theory - listen to it on repeat for a few days... that might make everyone you know say you have an unhealthy obsession. Especially if you do it while looking at pictures of the band. And making a homemade t-shirt with their faces on it. I love you Warpaint! Oh. Um. Sorry. No, don't do that. Just give it a few listens and get psyched for a full length you normal person you.

By Patrick Collins

What:
Exclusive Vintage Clothing

Where:
35 Braund Rd, Prospect

When:
Thurs & Fri 10am-5pm, Sat 10am-4pm
Sun by appointment

Contact:
8344 4455

View map

At the top of my street is a gun shop, a children's party service and a church, which pretty much sums up my suburb's bizarre cultural diversity. I've lived in Prospect all my life, and while it's been many things, ‘cool' was never quite one of them.

But one day I woke up and almost overnight the very same Prospect was vaguely trendy. There are cute little cafés on Prospect Road and dress shops with exorbitant prices. Maybe it's poetic that the butcher shop where I used to score free fritz is now one of Adelaide's better vintage clothes outlets.

Exclusive Vintage Clothing may not be the most creative name, but then it doesn't lie. Delicate, quaint and utterly charming, you're basically indebted to purchasing based on the atmosphere alone. But then their assortment of men's and women's second-hand retro attire is also top quality, very reasonably priced and oh so suave, which helps.

By Nick Peters

What:
Dot. Dot. Dot. UniSA Bachelor of Visual Arts Honours Exhibition

Where:
SASA Gallery, Kaurna Building, City West UniSA Campus, Hindley St

When:
Opens Wed Dec 8, 6pm
Runs until Dec 15th

How much:
Free

Contact:
sasagallery@unisa.edu.au

Image:
Shaw Hendry, Hermano Fan Club (detail), 2009

"Grad shows are the perfect place to get bitchy about art, because everyone has so much invested." This is what one of my most genuinely kind-hearted friends said when we recently attended the Monash Honours Grad Show together. And they were right. I was too busy making sex eyes at every hot male under 30. But what better occasion to cut sick with unwarranted criticisms than at a highly charged event featuring hopeful young artists who hover around their own work, drunk and vulnerable like deer in the headlights?

Honestly though, your criticisms will be unwarranted. I've had a few preview sneaks, and I have to say, it is shaping up to be a quality show. Keep an eye out for Jessie Lumb's day-brightening rainbow cracks, some artefacts from the infamous career of authentic Australian folk singer Hermano Rojo and Joshua Searson's flaccid penis failure work.

It takes a huge amount of optimism and gritty-art-lovin' to get through four years of being asked at every family BBQ, "What career path will this degree lead you towards?", or even better, "So, you're thinking of becoming a graphic designer then?" Get your claws out in honour of all the honours kids.

By Chloe Langford

What:
Heavy Metal Gangs of Wadeye

Who:
VBS TV

Where:
Online here

Watch the trailer:
Here

Heavy metal has been around for quite a while now and its fan base has never wavered. While trends in music can come and go - and their accolades with them - heavy metal fans are about as pig headedly loyal as they come.

Heavy metal has also apparently reached beyond stadiums and suburban living rooms, where you head-bang along to Guitar Hero, all the way up to Wadeye, NT. Vice's online video hub VBS travelled up there to profile the apparently violent local youth gangs, who divide their loyalties among some of the best (Slayer) metal bands to the worst (Evanescence), which resulted in the docu-short Heavy Metal Gangs in Wadeye.

The film offers a non-Four Corners look at contemporary Indigenous life which is pretty darn fascinating - and VBS's focus on the music and the various mobs commitment to it (whether it be Metallica or Megadeath) stands alone as an interesting portrait of utterly devoted (however unlikely) metal fans. Sometimes they do say it best in the blurb: No matter how much you claim to like metal, you've got absolutely nothing on these kids.

By Samantha Chater

What:
Upside Down Gardening - DIY Upside Down Tomato Plant

Where:
Your balcony

How much:
$5 - $10

There's nothing more timeless and/or satisfying than growing your own tomatoes (in the world of gastronomy anyway). However, unforgiving inner city backyards make growing stuff generally impossible (and who can be assed with hydroponics?). Until NOW! Armed with a spoon and some dirt, I channeled Don Burke and made myself a hanging tomato plant.

All you need is a bucket, about 3L of dirt, a tomato seedling (preferably a smaller variety), some fertilizer (some seaweed is good), a Stanley knife, and an old newspaper. Follow these simple instructions:

1. Cut a hole 2" wide into the bottom of a 4L bucket (or any large receptacle)

2. Put some newspaper down at the bottom of the bucket and cut a hole into the newspaper to line up with the hole in the bucket.

3. Grab your tomato seedling and feed it through the hole so that the tomato plant sticks out of the bottom - you'll probably have to do this with the bucket upside down.

4. Drop in some fertilizer (whatever you want - if you've got compost, a little bit of that wouldn't go astray).

5. Grab your dirt, and pour it into the bucket. Maybe put a plate on top to keep the moisture in and for easy watering access.

6. Using the handle on the bucket, hang it from the rafters on your balcony, and voila! You've got yourself a hanging tomato plant that could conceivably allow you to create your own Seventh Wonder. Just remember to water it!

By Sarah Werkmeister

What:
The Deli

Where:
54a George St, Thebarton 

When (A little complicated):
Mon-Tues 9am-3pm, Wed 9am-3pm & 6pm-8:30pm, Thurs 9am-3pm & 6:30pm-8:30pm, Fri 9am-3pm & 6pm-9pm, Sat 10am-9pm, Sun 10am-8:30pm  

Contact:
8354 4878

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Dinner at a deli? Are you kidding? The idea of going out for dinner at a deli is for twentysomething share house inhabitants who are either too lazy to cook or don't know how to cook and don't know how to try. West of the CBD, however, it's common place, for over in Thebarton sits The Deli - a café type joint that's much cooler than the old salami and brie.

While the word 'deli' makes it hard not to fear a stale sausage roll for main course and a Bubble o' Bill for desert, at this Deli they won't sell you anything like that. No stale meat pies with a sachet of sauce here, this place will do you a delicious burger or vego pizza. So what if you can't stop off there on your way home to pick up milk. Who needs just milk when you can have berry smoothies?

What also really sets this Deli apart from your standard snack bar is the set up, cosy warm retro glow with walls featuring amazing local art and a nice little outdoor space.

So if the thought of stuffing your face with a sausage roll makes your stomach churn, it's time to quit ruling out deli food - those days are over.

By Mugagga Kaggwa

What:
Not breaking the law

Where:
Nowhere, cause you shouldn't do it

Image:
Xavier Connelly

FiveThousand implores you to ignore the temptation of the following highly illegal summertime activities.

Breaking into one of several private school swimming pools
This is especially not fun at the tail end of a heat wave, when the water is as warm and clear as a tropical lagoon. Although fences are easy to scale and security is at a minimum, the sensible thing to do is forget the whole idea and catch a cab home. Especially forget to bring bicycles, your best underwear and one or two sneaky university cigarettes.

Sneaking into the Botanic Gardens late at night
Crazy. Don't even think about it. This is especially unromantic after last drinks at the pub, when all you have is a couple of bicycles and a bag of goon.

Hanging out on the roof of tall buildings
Do not scope out buildings in the CBD for accessible fire escapes. If you find that gates to fire escapes are locked from the outside, don't even think about unlocking them during business hours so that you can come back later with a bottle of wine and a portable projector.

By Stan Mahoney

What:
Jarvis Cocker

Where:
The Gov, 59 Port Rd

When:
Thu Dec 10, 8pm

How much:
$40 + b/f/ from Moshtix or at the door.

Are those C's still "running the world" Jarvis? Do they even know who you are Jarvis? Do you have more poignant vitriol to spit Jarvis? We sure hope so. How can a man be so bitter but uplifting at the same time? It must be those velvet jackets, formidable lenses, boyish good looks and your brilliant intellect channelled into one lanky and charming culturalist pop star. So you got moved from Thebby to the Gov to play pub shows Jarvis? Surely this will just spur you on. 

What:
Grace Emily Record Fair

Where:
The Grace Emily Hotel, Waymouth St, City

When:
Sun Dec 13, 1pm - 6pm

How much:
Free

It seems like it comes once a year. It's full of tubby beer guzzling dudes with rosy red cheeks. There are tidings of comfort and joy. Naw man, we're not talking about Raoul, not even Christmas, to us every season is festive without this overrated JC rigmarole, it's the Grace Emily Record Fair! Ho ho ho. It's just so apt that this excellent little fair in the hallowed Grace is brought to us by Smashed Records. Maybe a little too apt with fond memories - told to you by someone else - of pints sliding out of your loose grip and smashing on the floor.

What:
Square One is Turning 2

Where:
Rhino Room, Frome St, City

When:
Sat Dec 12, 9pm

It comes around whenever it wants to. You never know when you'll see it again. All you can do is hold on to the memory of last time. Raoul? My Lover? No no no, it's Square One, one of the best, albeit sporadic, nights down our east end but that just makes it more likeable. These DJs have proper taste and it's always proper fun.

Hello world, looka me. Here I am. I am The Sartorialist. I am writing this to you via my voice-activated diary device modified for airport lounges. I am international. I am classic. I am Tyler Brule. Just kidding, no I'm not. I am The Sartorialist. Deciding If You Are Well Dressed Or If You Are Just A Everyday Ho.

What is wrong with us? Why are we saying these things about Scott Schumann in the newsletter? Because we are jealous, that's why. He has made a career from taking photos of ladies and lovely old men with pocket squares. And now he has a beautiful book out through Penguin. You can buy it at good shops until Christmas. Or, thanks to Penguin, we have a copy to give away! To enter, just answer the following question.

This week's question:

Scott Schumann is

a) The Sartorialist

b) in ur airport, judging ur travel pants

c) kind of short, to be honest

d) Tyler Brule

Send your answer, name and mailing address to win@fivethousand.com.au. Winners will be notified by email. Subscriber only entry! Not a subscriber? It's free you icypoles. Sign up here www.fivethousand.com.au.

FiveThousand is a weekly snapshot of Adelaide's subculture, fired by email into the loving arms of people who realise that the best things in life are often hard to find. It is compiled by an amorphous gaggle of writers, stylists, designers and photographers who all like huddling under that big umbrella we call creativity. Without editorial independence FiveThousand has nothing. All editorial you read is featured because it's worth it - not because it's paid for.

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SENIOR CONTRIBUTORS
Penny Modra
Rachel Surgeoner
Lisa Lerkenfeldt
Danielle Marsland
Mugagga Kaggwa
Nick Peters
Brad Dunn
Patrick Collins
Chloe Langford
Samantha Chater
Sarah Werkmeister
Mugagga Kaggwa
Stan Mahoney