The Thousands

Thursday January 7

indefinite | in'definit
adjective
lasting for an unknown or unstated length of time : they may face indefinite detention.

hiatus | hai'eitas
noun ( pl. -tuses ) [usu. in sing. ]
a pause or gap in a sequence, series, or process : there was a brief hiatus in the war with France.

Hello there. We have definitely returned.

Issue 008 - "indefinite hiatus"

On the site now (It's updated every day!):
READ: Summer Reading
HEAR: The Almighty Defenders
GOODS: Secret Identities

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Cover photo by Xixi Cao. If you would like to submit a cover shot email daniel@rightanglestudio.com.au

What:
The Sheets Are Immaculate

Who:
Cry Bloxsome, Samuel Lieblich and Alasdair Beer

Where:
Online here

How much:
Free

I like this blog for a few reasons. First, one of its creators is Cry Bloxsome who is amazing. Secondly, while they encourage contributions, they're not afraid to be picky, which keeps things tight, and they draw the line at poetry, which keeps things enjoyable. Thirdly, they have a manifesto that reads like they wrote it when they were drunk and angry and overwhelmed with ego, then tidied it up a bit the next morning.

Their stance is that mainstream writing tries to please everyone by not offending anyone and is thus inherently boring. So they echo Henry Miller: "This is not writing, in the ordinary sense of the word. No, this is a prolonged insult, a gob of spit in the face of Art, a kick in the pants to God, Man, Destiny, Time, Love, Beauty..."

Being offensive is no great achievement in itself, of course, but these three chaps are quite brilliant, or at the very least interesting, and from what I've seen of the site they're fun even when they're foul.

This is fast, clever writing with no time for politeness or concern for sensitivities. Have a look. You'll either love it or hate it, and I'm pretty sure they don't care which.

By Alice Fenton

What:
Real Estate

Who:
Real Estate

On:
Woodsist Records

MySpace:
Here

You want sunny. You want relaxed. You want proof that someone, anywhere, is struggling through the summer just like you are. You also want a killer pop record. Doesn't matter where it's from - this sound is universal. You want Real Estate.

As it stands, these kids hail from New Jersey. A small detail normally, sure, but this fact oozes through every pore of their sun-drenched sound. They pine for the place, meaning the record isn't all beaches, Budweiser, and Sprite but suburbia and Atlantic City too. Because, shit, the beach is even better when you've just escaped from the most depressing place in the world.

What the intrepid Messrs, Courtney, Mondanile, Bleeker and Duguay - now plying their trade in Brooklyn, along with about a billion other indie darlings - accomplish with Real Estate is the ideal synthesis of laconic ethos, chiming surf guitar, muffled vocals and rubbery bass. It's not just beach music, it's summer music. To fill every nook and cranny of every day when you stick to the leather. You take the good with the bad, but take it from me, with Real Estate, you're taking the good.

By Mateo Szlapek-Sewillo

What:
Dark Horsey Bookshop

Where:
EAF, Lion Arts Centre, North Terrace, City

When:
Tues-Fri, 11am-5pm
Sat, 2am-5pm

Contact:
eafbooks@eaf.asn.au
08 8211 7505

View map

You really ought to know about Dark Horsey already. I mean, what are you doing here? Surely you haven't been going to all these exhibitions for the free drinks and hors d'oeuvres? You people must have at least a pretension of culture, right?

Don't answer that.

Read a goddamn book already. And for Christ's sake stop watching Garden State. It's a terrible movie. And stay the hell out of Supermild - you're ruining it for everybody.

Dark Horsey is where you go to learn all the stuff you've been pretending to know about at the pub. Literary criticism, aesthetics, cultural studies, the whole bit. And like all good bookshops, it's operated by a writer of good books. Ken Bolton is one of Adelaide's most respected poets, and a formidable art critic. He's about eight feet tall, and looks like a cross between Jim Jarmousch and Lee Marvin. Fear him. And remember to thank him when he sells you one of the many imported and limited edition art books that are his specialty - usually at a cheaper price than any other bookshop in town. Cheaper still if you're smart enough to sign up as a member.

By Stan Mahoney

What:
Boulevard art

Where:
The fine streets of Adelaide

When:
Always

How much:
Free

Coming Soon:
Street Dreams Adelaide Urban Art Festival

Images:
Thanks to Adelaide Street Art Facebook Page

I'm not going to lie to you. There are 1,000,000 art shows on during the Adelaide Fringe Festival in March. But there is shit all going on in Adelaide in the first week of January. So, I'm going to get my ‘filler' on, and tell you about our local street art scene.

There are always remnants of Chris Tamm around town. Chris is a bit of a local legend. He has flown the coop to Sydney now, but in the heyday he was sort of like Adelaide's resident I-look-like-a-homeless-guy-street-art-dude. Try the alley behind Miss Gladys Sym Choon on Rundle.

And surely you know about the ‘it's free!' guy. Walk anywhere. No, seriously just walk anywhere in the CBD and look for ‘it's free!' written in chalk. It is sort of like an Adelaide hipster reincarnation of Arthur Stace. In the same classy vein there is ‘Licio'. She/He just paints ‘Licio' everywhere in this sexy cursive. My personal favourite can be found in the alleyway next to the Advertiser building between Franklin and Grote St. There's this person called anklepants too, always something fresh. Look up. It is good for you, the sun is up there you know.

By Chloe Langford

What:
Fantastic Mr Fox

Where:
In cinemas now

Watch the trailer:
Here

I was dubious about Wes Anderson's take on Roald Dahl's darkly gleeful caper about a cheeky fox who steals from three awful farmers. But Anderson's mannered directorial trademarks work well with the stop-motion animation. There are funny sight gags and quotable lines aplenty, including perhaps the best thing anyone's ever said to Jarvis Cocker in years: "That was a bad song."

George Clooney's not an Anderson regular, but casting him in the title role as a vulpine Danny Ocean was a work of intertextual genius. With his reckless charm, he plays well against Meryl Streep's sardonically sexy Mrs Fox. In a subplot invented for the film, Jason Schwartzman is Fox's misfit son Ash, who's passive-aggressively cruel to his overachieving cousin Kristofferson (Eric Chase Anderson). But their rivalry enriches rather than distracts from the plot.

Bill Murray feels under-used here as Fox's lawyer mate Badger, but most other roles are delightful, especially Willem Dafoe's "when you're a Jet, you're a Jet all the way" take on Rat. Charming, beautifully detailed, free of fatuous self-consciousness and completely in the spirit of its source material, Fantastic Mr Fox is Wes Anderson's best movie in years.

By Mel Campbell

What:
(The Atomic)

Where:
Hype & Seek, 3 Elizabeth St (aka Queen St), Croydon

How much:
$400

Contact:
8346 0033
hypeandseek@hotmail.com

View map

Possibly the most polite war in the history of wars is the Atomic war, for the hearts and minds of people who love a particular coffee machine designed in the late '40s by Giordano Robbiati. Weirdly, this international war is happening mostly in Australia, between Sorrentina, Bon, and Otto.

It's remaining polite for a few reasons I think; firstly because of the way people love this machine. There's this book about it, there's this blog and this site and these, and on ebay they regularly go for a thousand bucks. Secondly, because the new players in this game, clearly big fans, know they're riding big, Italian modernist coat-tails.

There are a lot of myths about the Atomic, fuelled by the Robbiati family not wanting to discuss its history. Some say the original moulds were recently found in a barn. Some believe the factory burnt down in the 1980s, but this is disputed.

The good news is that it's easy to ignore this polite vying for authenticity when you've got one of these on your stove, spurting out excellent espresso or just sitting there, looking for all the world like the war is over and there's hope in your heart for a new Europe.

By Stuart Geddes

What:
Vari's Generale Alimentari Italiani

Where:
210b The Parade, Norwood

When:
Mon-Sat, 8am-5pm
Thurs, 8am-9pm

Contact:
(08) 8431 1682

View map

I went into Vari's about six years ago in preparation for a crostoli binge and was laughed at when I asked if they had EFTPOS. As Mamma Spaghetti might say, "she isa think a we have da EFTPOS! Mamma MIA!". Another time I went there to buy coffee for work, and hence asked for a receipt (petty cash), and was given a handwritten brown-ish sheet with their details - circa 1975 -  including a five digit phone number. I don't think anyone had asked for a receipt in a long time.

Vari's has since snazzed up its facade slightly but you still get the vibe that it's in no rush to hit 2010. Despite its cosy size, Vari's is filled with magical Italian treats that will make you fat but content. Go there to get crostoli, pecorino, panin, prosciutto and Il Globo rather than from that soulless supermercato. Just remember, it's cash only.

By Amy Mead

What:
The Big Rocking Horse

Where:
Main Rd, Gumeracha

When:
Mon-Sun, 9am to 5pm

Contact:
8389 1085

View map

The last time I went to the Big Rocking Horse I wasn't four years old, I was technically a "man". It was on a budget wine tour to the Barossa Valley. It was for backpackers, so it was cheap. The aim was probably to consume as much booze as possible while taking in the history of the area... a likely combination.

What made this particular wine tour all the more remarkable were two things. 1) Our tour guide-come driver was a confessed bikie with a split personality who wavered between intelligent charming wit and filthy cussing. 2) A DAMN BIG ROCKING HORSE.

Everyone knows the Big Banana, the Big Pineapple, and nerdy wet dream, the Big Slide Rule (?), but this is the punk of the 'big stuff' scene. Created in 1981 to help sell toys at the attached wooden toy factory and put Gumeracha on the map, (it IS on the map, success!) this lonesome freak stands 18 metres tall, swings in the wind, and has been voted Number 1 Big Aussie Icon by Wotif.

By Dan Gladys

What:
Fair Maiden / Immortal Warlord

Where:
The Metropolitan Hotel, 46 Grote St, City

When:
Thu Jan 7, 6:30pm

How much:
Free

Just before you get RSI from retro gaming up a storm at La Boheme from 9pm onwards at 'Ultracade!'. 0100010010101010001. Orgasm. That binary isn't solvent but when has love made sense? Get your pre-drink, post-work, pre-dinner, pre-gamer RSI on at Le Metro with the folk-tinged beatific Fair Maiden and zombie stooge pop of Immortal Warlord.

What:
Ultracade!

Where:
La Boheme, Grote St, City

When:
Thurs Jan 7, 9pm

How much:
Free

People, yeah people, go on about the internet and its profound impact on society. This cannot be denied, but little is mentioned of that 'G' word. Gaming. Who would have said 30 years ago, apart from uber-smarties and maybe NASA, that people would be curing their morbid obesity, chiropractic malfunctions and insanity caused by a combination of Macca's and The Sims, by getting 'Wii Fit'? Not many. Ultracade! is here to cure a different disease, an insatiable hunger for 8-bit music and retro gaming. Play classic games and dance to DJ TR!P at La Boheme.

What:
The Honey Pies + The Keepsakes + Cheer Advisory Council

Where:
Jade Monkey, 29a Twin St, City.

When:
Fri Jan 8, 9pm

How much:
$5-10

Elegantly quoted from the Journal of Facebook, "The Honey Pies, The Keepsakes and Cheer Advisory Council are going to play music at Jade Monkey. Not at the same time, in some cacophonous experiment gone wrong, but rather sequentially, one band after the other. Though they will not play directly one after the other, there will be some short amount of time in between each act to allow for the players to remove themselves from stage and to ready themselves for their set. Obviously they may also want to use the bathroom at this point. During these short breaks other bands will play via the venues PA system and a CD player, iPod or other such audio device. Again, this will be purely a one band at a time affair and not a multitude of songs being played one over the other".

Words don't come easy and in June, Max (Assistant Editor of our sister publication ThreeThousand) wrote an article on a bag that was so good that we have decided to make another bag just to honour it. It's called The Thousands Quote Tote and it is the first in the series of bags using our words and the skills of designer and bag-maker extraordinaire Hannah Chipkin from Chip Chop. Screen printed on canvas beach bag and produced in a limited edition, The Thousands Quote is available exclusively through The Thousands Shop. We have one tote, valued at $50 - to give away! To enter, just answer the following question.

This week's question:

The Quote Tote is

a) not your average weekender

b) toting the shit out of your stuff, all over town

c) no tent bag

d) freaking out all the squares

Send your answer, name and mailing address to win@fivethousand.com.au. Winners will be notified by email. Subscriber only entry! Not a subscriber? It's free you anchovy zeppoles! Sign up here.

FiveThousand is a weekly snapshot of Adelaide's subculture, fired by email into the loving arms of people who realise that the best things in life are often hard to find. It is compiled by an amorphous gaggle of writers, stylists, designers and photographers who all like huddling under that big umbrella we call creativity. Without editorial independence FiveThousand has nothing. All editorial you read is featured because it's worth it - not because it's paid for.

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GROUP PUBLISHER
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Nadia Saccardo
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Luke Byrne

SENIOR CONTRIBUTORS
Penny Modra
Rachel Surgeoner
Lisa Lerkenfeldt
Danielle Marsland
Chloe Langford
Luke Byrne
Amy Mead
Mateo Szlapek-Sewillo
Stan Mahoney
Dan Gladys
Stuart Geddes