The Thousands

Thursday June 17

Issue 031 - "come outta the cracks"

On the site now (It's updated every day!):

READ: Fires, Raymond Carver
WATCH: White Lightnin'
HEAR: Ariel Pink interview

Be our fan on Facebook
Follow us on Twitter
RSS HERE!

Cover photo by S. Wilson. If you would like to submit a cover shot email daniel@rightanglestudio.com.au

What:
The Complete Home for the Def

Who:
Tristan Stanley Mahoney

On:
Format Press 2010

Launch:
Grab a copy at Format, 15 Peel St, City. Fri June 18, 6pm. Free.

The media release for Stan Mahoneys The Complete Home for the Def describes it as comparable to Brendan Mullens Lexicon Devil, the biography of Germs' frontman Darby Crash. The difference is that instead of being about an actual rock star, its about the 20 year, 50 album legacy of Nigel Koop, aka Home for the Def. Despite being years ahead of his time, wildly talented and possessing the traits and vices of a rock star, Koop remains almost entirely unknown outside of Adelaide. Thus, Mahoney asks "What happens to rock stars who never actually become rock stars?

Mahoneys lucid prose glisters - despite the odd backhanded insult, you can tell Mahoney has a deep respect for HFTD, sometimes to the point of sycophancy. Whilst the writing is brilliant this falls well short in its stated goal of recording a complete history. Much of Koops early work is simply ignored, such as his pioneering place in Dogma cinema (Napoleon of Burnside, DARYLL 2, 3 and 4). More disturbingly, Mahoney seems to have wilfully avoided Koops less savoury side, including accusations that he was Adelaides infamous "Toilet Terrorist and a songwriter for Powderfinger.

By Ianto Ware

What:
Vol. 1

Who:
Fake Tan

On:
Homemade CD, ask them nicely for one, they may have a spare copy

Fake Tan are a band. Tom, Vince and Ryan first realised they could play pop music after stumbling home inebriated from a party. They plugged in and dropped out. They liked what they heard, so they kept jamming. And, lo, it was good, a heady brew of classic Beach Boys pop with the type of authentic low fidelity production you only get from having either no money or state-of-the-art studio trickery.

Volume 1 is, as the name suggests, a handful of formative, tentative tunes from boys growing right before our ears. It's not just a pat on the head and a resigned shrug; Oh, they could be good in a few years'. They're fantastic now - playing the gauzy surf pop that Pitchfork salivates over. Bunched vocals about doing things we maybe shouldn't evoke memories of being 17 again. It's no mean feat. making compelling, rough around the edges pop gems at the same age most of us are learning to drive. Expect more from Fake Tan, but start at the beginning.

By Mateo Szlapek-Sewillo

What:
FRIENDS FOREVER

Where:
Format, 15 Peel St, City

When:
Opens Wed June 23, 6pm
Runs until Jul 7

How much:
Free

Contact:
greenred123@gmail.com

Image:
Stephanie Crase, Sam; Nick Walton, Boys; Sarah Chadwick, Anna Nicole

View map

Before I start I should declare my interests here. FRIENDS FOREVER might be showing at a gallery I am involved in running. And maybe my boyfriend lives with one of the artists and maybe she buys me drinks even when I'm too wasted to stand up. Unfortunately for my integrity, the art world is full of closely knit, overlapping social groups.

Whenever I go visit my boyfriend in Thebarton, I always pop my head in Sarah Mary Chadwick's door. Leering over her bed is this unhinged looking thing. I'm not going to bother trying to describe it. All you need to know is that it is a life-sized papier-mache Anna Nicole Smith. You need to see it.

You might know two of the artists in this show - Sarah Mary Chadwick and Steph Crase - from Batrider. And Steph is also a member of Birth Glow along with the third artist in FRIENDS FOREVER - Nick Walton. Nick is drawing wonky, half-naked men with sexy torsos. Steph is working on watery, motionless portraits mostly of her friends, like the other guy from Batrider, Sam. They all go to the pub together and holiday together. They make music together and draw and paint each other. They'll probably be friends forever. If they're not than at least the result is a life-sized papier-mache Anna Nicole Smith.

By Chloe Langford

What:
Azalia Boutique

Where:
5 Elizabeth (aka Queen St) St, Croydon

When:
Wed-Fri 10am-5pm, Sat-Sun 10am-4pm

Contact:
mail@azalia.com.au

View map

Please correct me if I'm out of line by saying this, but there seems to be a severe lack of stores in Adelaide that sells nice men's clothes. A few obvious ones spring to mind, but it seems like a frustrating task to kit out a lad these days. Sorry boys, but this week's SHOP isn't going to help you out any further. It's girls-only here - again.

Azalia Boutique in Croydon is what happens when your own wardrobe meets your friends' collection - you know, the girl who you love, but who always wants to go to Distill when you're pushing for the Exeter. She's in all the bodysuits and waisted skirts and she can't go past studs and embellished shoulders, while you're rocking vintage sandals and a jacket that was made back when the strong shoulders' trend was around in the eighties. With different tastes it's usually impossible to shop together, but Azalia makes it possible with its nice mix of vintage finds and trend pieces from larger labels like Mink Pink and Finders Keepers. And lets face it, she really wants a nineties grunge mini dress' and you wouldn't mind a nice new cropped blazer. To top it off you can both pick up some pieces from Azalia's house jewellery line - everyone's happy, and everyone's looking good.

By Stephanie Lyall

What:
Bunny and the Bull

Where:
At Mercury Cinema from Fri June 18

Watch the trailer:
Here

Win:
Thanks to the Mercury Cinema, we have 4 dbls for the first weekend to give away! To enter, email win@fivethousand.com.au with the subject Get out of the way of the bull, you idiot!'

Stephen Turnbull (Edward Hogg) is an anxious nerd who hasn't left his flat since a disastrous European holiday with his ebullient best mate Bunny (Simon Farnaby). When his stock of vegetarian lasagne runs out, Stephen is forced to order in from awful seafood chain Captain Crab, leading him to relive his trauma... and his love for feisty Spanish waitress Eloisa (the luminous Vernica Echegui), whom, naturally, Bunny bedded first.

Mighty Boosh fans will be on familiar turf with this lo-res, visually inventive comedy-drama from Boosh director Paul King. Julian Barratt plays Attila, a homeless man with a strange fondness for dogs, and Noel Fielding is Eloisa's bullfighting-obsessed brother Javier. Even Rich Bob Fossil' Fulcher makes an appearance as the voice of Captain Crab.

But the film's often-sombre feel and general atmosphere of psychological disarray reminded me more of Michel Gondry's The Science Of Sleep. It's not the flippant whimsy-fest I was dreading: rather, Bunny and the Bull has some dark, wise things to say about life and friendship. Of course, there are also plenty of magical, quirky and very funny moments. Wouldn't be the Boosh without those.

By Mel Campbell

What:
Hobes

Where:
Online here.

How much:
$159 + postage

Despite the introduction of desert boots at the time of the Western Desert Campaign, a short supply meant many military personal had no option but to wear jungle boots. However, I passed the selection process through exceptional skill and was one of the lucky ones. In 1940 I was given my first pair of desert boots.

In the months of war that followed, I credit my survival of Operation Compass to one thing - those shoes. Although I had no water, food, and little support from fellow soldiers, the wrap of calf skin kept me sane - a tone point I was held in social isolation by a group of Italians.

As the years have passed, my devotion to the desert boot has gained intensity. Its level of comfort is incomparable - the loose ankle is unrivaled by the Chukka and its crepe sole has revolutionised the concept of lightweight apparel.

And now, finally, the drought of desert boots which contributed to the fate of many is over. Hobes are available online, anytime, anywhere. Wrap yourself in black, charcoal or sandy suede, or walk through our modern jungle in a modern canvas slash denim.

By Marissa Shirbin

What:
Coffee Branch

Where:
32 Leigh St, City

When:
Mon-Fri, 7am-5pm

View map

Believe it or not, not all of us are hip artists, musicians, writers or students. Some of us have succumbed to the nine-to-five of an office job, although admittedly it's mainly so we can head out after 5pm and actually pay to see your shitty band or buy a piece of your experimental art.' See? We're paying your rent.

It'd be easy enough for us to just buy our corporate wear' from chain stores and our coffee from Hudsons - but there are a few of us who feel like it's our god-given right to wear op-shopped dresses to the office. Likewise, chain coffee just ain't going to cut it, although it's not always easy to find a handy alternative.

Enter Leigh Street's newest resident, Coffee Branch. Point one: the coffee is good, real good. It's that Five Senses stuff that Bar 9 raves on about. Point two: it's cosy, real cosy. It's tiny, has wood-grain finishes and looks out onto a strange little alley. There's almost something a bit Melburnian about it (gasp). Point three: it's well priced and totally accessible. Sure, it may be full of suits during the morning rush, but it's not the type of place that's a no-go if your annual income is less than $60k. In fact, it's actually kinda cool. A welcome addition to the daily grind.

By Stephanie Lyall

What:
Seed Bombing

Where:
The concrete jungles of Adelaide (throw in vacant dirt/grass)

When:
You name it

How much:
$10-$20

Contact:
More detailed instructions here

These days, rebellion is a difficult task. As a kid, all you had to do to freak the folks was make a cigarette out of file paper and bits of lawn. But now that you're a 20-something, you need to fry bigger fish to get people uppity. Stickin' gum under the benches of your bus stop just isn't gonna cut it anymore.

Want a sure fire way to unleash your inner rebel? Seed Bombing is your ticket to guerrilla gardening. Now shit's gonna get real pretty.

All you need is: air-dry clay, flower seeds, compost, a lid of a yoghurt container and water.

Step 1: Cut a thin piece of the clay
Step 2: Press down the clay on a flat surface. The piece of clay needs to be about 5.5cm wide by 5cm long.
Step 3: Put the clay onto the yoghurt lid, and sprinkle about a teaspoon or two of the finer compost onto the clay.
Step 4: Add 2 seeds to the mixture (depending on how good the seeds are add more or less)
Step 5: Add only a few drops of water. If you add too much water, havoc will ensue (but being a rebel you might want that).
Step 6: Making sure the seeds aren't going to fall out, roll all the ingredients into a ball.

To improve chances of your seed bomb working, roll the ball in compost a few times until it's covered in the stuff. Make as many as you can and start throwing those babies onto vacant patches of soil/grass. When the rain comes, the clay will give way to some bad ass flowers. Nice work, comrade.

By Boris Kane

What:
Great Earthquake

Where:
Fri: Crown & Anchor, Grenfell St, City
Sat: Clarity Records, 60 Pulteney St, City & Headquarters Studio, Lvl 1, 15 Kingston Ave, Richmond  

When:
Fri Jun 18, 8pm. Sat Jun 19, 3pm (AND later at Headquarters Studio)

How much:
Free

Great Earthquake is Noah Symons. A renaissance everywhere man. You can hear Noah play as Great Earthquake, as art-folk outfit Timothy and The Wilderness, AND in post-punkers Flag and Forget. He draws. He paints. He even knows how to extract tasty flavour from a coffee bean. There doesn't seem to be much he can't do. He probably juggles as well. Noah is playing all over the place this weekend, including at the Crown & Anchor with Paper Arms and Weightless; the little-known Headquarters Studio down in Richmond with Jason Sweeney and Tristan Louth-Robins; and another sweet instore at Clarity Records with S. Wilson. - DG

What:
Gilles Street Market

Where:
91 Gilles St, City

When:
Sun June 20, 10am-4pm

How Much:
Free

Like all good things, bears, energy, happiness, Gilles Street Market has been hibernating for a little while. 5 weeks in fact. Really, it makes sense, if you went to market in the depths of a cold and rainy winter all you'd buy would be sixteen coats and a bazillion coffees or hot chocolates; and you'd be too numb to enjoy all the other good things. Thankfully, Gilles will keep you warm with more than just coffee. Pancakes, curries, steaming hot freshly fired pizza, mmm, and that's even before you get to all the neat threads. -DG

What:
Films and Dancing

Where:
The Mercury Cinema, Morphett St, City and The Ed Castle Hotel, 233 Currie St, City

When:
Fri June 18, 7pm

How Much:
$20

What is a good night out for you? Do you fancy a little cinema? Maybe a little dinner? Then out to catch some tunes and wiggle your tooshie? Yes? Thought so. This combination, though, can hit your wallet kinda hard. $14 or more for the cinema, $50 or something for a mega-super-popcorn combo, then there's dinner AND THEN there's entry to catch a band unless you have the 'I'm meant to be here' arrogant walk in technique (try it, it works). With this in mind, the Mercury has thought to combine the two - films and dancing. Pretty good idea and damn cheap at $20. This week it's Bunny and the Bull and then onto The Ed. We know how you kids like The Ed. -DG

Hola amigos.! Do you notice something great about me today? Something different? "Por que are you looking so amazing", you ask. "Why is the room so aglow with light now that you are here?" I will tell you. It's my shoes! They are so wedgie and sex machino bueno that my body has become like a magic viaje. That means 'journey' in Spanish. Yes, my body is a journey to places you no comprende. Because I have these shoes. These very tall, make-your-already-amazing-culo-three-inches-higher shoes.

You want some of these magic shoes? Si, Claro! I will tell you how you too can become the embodiment of Viaje.

You go to The Corner Shop and you tell them you are ready. Ready to rule el mundo, one carefully-placed step at a time. Or you go here and you say it to yourself. Like a mantra. A goddess mantra.

Or, another thing that you can do is win a pair from us, thanks to the kind people at Melissa.

To enter, just answer the following question.
We are speaking in Spanish because

a) some of the shoes are inspired by Brazil, but Portuguese seemed too hard

b) it is the language of women-with-sweet-culos

c) when we wear these shoes we can speak however we like

d) we are obsessed with this lady

To be in the running send your answer, shoe size AND postal address to win@fivethousand.com.au, winners will be notified by email. Subscriber only entry. Not a subscriber? It's free you willies! Sign up here.