The Thousands

Thursday June 24

Right here, right now, we would like to use this space to send out some big kudos. These pats on the back go out to a bunch of people who are busting their tooshies to transform this city. They aren't urban designers, they aren't politicians, we don't think they play AFL. They are the grass roots that see the good that is already here, the great potential, and they have the vision to put what exists to good use.

They are Renew Adelaide. Space by space, landlord by landlord, they are renewing this fair city. All those cute old buildings, offices, and shopfronts will no longer languor in neglect. They are helping to open two new spaces this very week, with even more to come. Fashion, books, art, music. All independent, all renewed.

Issue 032 - "Renewed"

On the site now (It's updated every day!):

READ: Charles Bukowski: Locked in the Arms of a Crazy Life, Howard Sounes
SHOP: Ramona West online
HEAR: 'Maniac Meat', Tobacco

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Cover photo by Ryan. If you would like to submit a cover shot email daniel@rightanglestudio.com.au

What:
TOURIST Magazine

Where:
Online Here

How much:
Free

Image:
Arvida Bystrm

Keeping an eye on the cool kids is much easier when they're all sitting at the same table having dinner and you find that chink in the wall and try to go for a quick peek.

That's where TOURIST Magazine come in; this isn't a looky-lu into some fashionista's daily shoe choices, but moreso a view into the better things. Every issue is carefully laden with layers of stunning art, photography, music, literature, blogs, and people. With a format that oozes design quality at its best - think kind of a cross between Purple Magazine, and the Metzes -  TOURIST's collections of images and tracks present themself with European guile and finesse.

Issue #3 contains a furniture-maker from Belgrade; a hairy arm-pitted nympho photographer; visual diaries of twenty-somethings; and an interview with some random Swede who works on a boat.

TOURIST sets out to indulge your senses with stimuli, to the point that your eyes burst with flavour. It'll be helpful for killing your boredom and/or jerkin' your creative gherkin'.

By Boris Kane

What:
Sexy As Hell cassette

Who:
Dud Pills

On:
Independent. Only 60 copies made!

How much:
$6 from feverteeth@gmail.com, Dud Pills' MySpace, or Clarity Records, 60 Pulteney St, City

Dud Pills are Pete, Pat, Liam and they make sloppy lo-fi, and occasionally angsty, pop. You might know these guys from their other bands Bitch Prefect with Scott of True Radical Miracle / Lindsey Low Hand, Peak Twins, and previously, The Weevils and Immortal Warlord.

Sexy As Hell is the first time I've managed to grab these guys on any kind of physical record and damn it's good. You can also get to know them via S. Wilson's excellent Fieber teef blog devoted to capturing live recordings (go look!) and Pat's excellent YouTube clips (see 'Sitting Inside' for the goods, including a menacing giant koala).

An eight-track cassette, Sexy As Hell tells stories of suburbia, loneliness, early morning hangovers, love, boredom, and Charlie Sheen. All the best things in life. 'Woes' is downer pop bliss, 'Sitting Inside' carries a sinister hip hop rant swagger complete with a disheveled jam ("I won't charge you nothing but it won't be free..."). Four tracks are 'studio' recorded - which pretty much consists of a lounge room and some goon - and the others are live straight from the vaults of Fieber teef. If you're looking for rehashed Bloc Party disco-indie, stay away. If you want great Cleanesque lo-fi pop, get this.

By Gladys Friday

What:
duetto

Where:
Adelaide Botanic Garden / Queen's Theatre / aEaf

When:
Sat June 26, 2pm, at the Botanic Gardens, followed by performance at Queen's Theatre 

How much:
Free

Contact:
info@aeaf.org.au

Image:
pip & pop, 'i love that you love what i love...'

Ok so this is a little bit complicated. But if you can commit to it I think it might be worth it. There is a show at the eAaf. And the second half of the show is at Queen's Theatre. You follow thus far? And this Saturday there is a series of spoken word performances with Aleks Danko and Jude Walton at the Botanic Gardens. Except the performance isn't in one place. It takes place incrementally at different locations in the Botanics. Then from after dark at Queen's Theatre there is another performance. Phew.

duetto is another survey-type brainchild conceived by aEaf director Domenico de Clario. The show is spread over four venues with more than twenty pairs of artists working in collaborative duettos'. It's not exactly a self-evident kind of exhibition - each of the pieces require a little bit of time and cerebral gymnastics to grasp. I don't think this complexity is just for the sake of it - when your subject matter is essentially collaborative human relationships you are bound to encounter some kind of confusing mess. Think about it. The Botanic Gardens might be a good memory trigger. Don't you remember cavorting around the lily-pads when you were seventeen and in love'? And don't you remember the ensuing disarray and horror when you realised that human relationships are basically a subtle and damaging form of bloody warfare? It's really no wonder duetto is confusing.

By Chloe Langford

What:
Workshop

Where: 
151 Hindley St, City

When:
Until July 30, extension pending

Opening:
Fri June 25, 6pm

View map

Workshop
Serves approx. 1.3million

4 fashion designers
1 Renew Adelaide space
4 sewing machines
2km (maybe more) of thread, various colours
Patterns, preferably of original designs
A few rolls of excellent quality fabric - tulle, chiffon, spandex, jersey; it's up to you
As much ambition and creativity as you can muster
Sequins and glitter, to taste

1. Gather together a group of dedicated volunteers who will negotiate their way through council, landlords and various other forms of bureaucracy until they ultimately secure you an empty shopfront for a minimum of 30 days. 
2. Select fashion designers (we'd recommend Julie White, Alice Rawlinson (Divine Madness), Lachy Lang and Gemma Stocks (Petronella); fold gently into shop.
3. Slowly add in machines, patterns and sewing supplies along with a selection of ready-to-wear pieces. It's best if these are hung on racks and/or displayed on mannequins.
4. Open with a bang on Friday June 25, 6pm.
5. Voila! Your very own 'renewed' fashion-studio-come-retail-space, Workshop! See one we've prepared earlier at 151 Hindley St, right next to the new Reading Room.

By Stephanie Lyall

What:
I Am Love

Where:
In cinemas from June 24

Watch Trailer:
Here

Win:
Thanks to Rialto, we have 5 dbls! To enter, email win@fivethousand.com.au with the subject line You no longer know who I am'

Luca Guadagnino's film is self-consciously overblown, apparently aiming for Greek, Biblical or Shakespearean tragedy. It's also a pet project for Tilda Swinton, who produced and learned both Italian and Russian for her starring role. But those uninterested in cinematic artifice might find it silly and pretentious.

The film opens as Russian-born Emma Recchi (Swinton) is supervising a grand birthday dinner for her father-in-law, patriarch of a wealthy Milanese textile empire. A chef, Antonio (Edoardo Gabbriellini), shows up bearing a cake for the family's anointed successor, the beloved Edo (Flavio Parenti). Gradually, Emma's doomed passion for her son's friend flourishes on a diet of truly exquisite shrimp and idyllic Ligurian countryside. She's also inspired by her daughter Elisabetta's (Alba Rohrwacher, a masterstroke of Plausible Family Casting) romantic decisions.

Guadagnino's way of lingering over small details at first feels ominous, but as the narrative unfurls it becomes narcotic and fetishistic, like A Single Man. Some imagery - a trapped moth, ripe berries, a bird flying free - is embarrassingly obvious. But I Am Love also has a furtive tawdriness that reminded me of Louis Malle's 1992 film Damages. For a film about love, it's oddly joyless.

By Mel Campbell

What:
Pipes

Where:
Smokelovers, 244 Rundle St, City, or online

How much:
About $20 and beyond

Picture this. An unremarkable elderly man sits on a leather burgundy armchair. Behind him are books, statue heads, candles... Press the snooze button, cos I'm yawning! Now picture that same scene - but the man holds a pipe. Instant classic! So cool. So refined. Pipes are like magic wands, best used to convert run-of-the-mill into rowdy random times. Awkward family lunch at the RSL? Spark up a Calabash - they will at least be relieved you are not smoking crack, like Sherlock Holmes did with the same stem. Middling day at the office? Unhook the modem cord and lock your lips on a hookah. Your boss can't argue with a cultural artefact (especially one from the Middle East).

My favourite fantasy scene is this: you are waiting for your latte with a crowd of other cranky early-morning hipsters. The barista? You are crushing on them hard. How will your face become the one they never forget? By busting out your clay pipe, casual as day-pants, that's how! Who is the money? You are the money. Be it Medico dinky short, Turkish Meer, Bent or Varsity style money.

By Angela Bennetts

What:
Mulled Wine

Where:
Your kitchen

How much:
About $10 if you buy cleanskin

When I was in the Czech Republic I was staying in this tiny town called Libcice. My friend was throwing a party in his garden and it was -10C outside. Needless to say he was an idiot, but just as I was about to tell him so, he offered me a glass of mulled wine. Twelve glasses later I was sitting naked in a man(me)-made swimming pool in his backyard constructed using a branch for a shovel.

Thankfully, here in Adelaide we don't have to deal with -10C and snow, but we do have to deal with idiots that throw parties outside in the winter. So make some mulled wine, it will only cost you a pocket full of roubles.

You will need:
10 cloves
2 cinnamon sticks
1/4 cup caster sugar
1 roughly grated nutmeg (buy some nutmeg and grate it, roughly)
2 cups of water
1 roughly chopped apple (skin on)
1 roughly grated rind of an orange
750ml cab sav/merlot/shiraz or any other medium-full bodied red

Instructions:
1. Heat cloves, cinnamon, sugar, nutmeg, water, orange rind, and apple in a large saucepan over medium heat. Bring to the boil, then reduce the heat and allow it to simmer for 10 minutes.
2. Add the red wine and simmer for another 5 min. Remove from the heat, strain. Serve immediately.

Now go and wreak havoc on your backyard! It's only 5C here at nighttime, so after 12 glasses of mulled wine you probably won't even notice that you're swimming in a two foot pond.

By Boris Kane

What:
Bike Polo

Where:
Wakefield St Courts, City

When:
Every Sun, 2pm

How Much:
Free

Contact:
Bike Polo Adelaide

Rule Numero Uno:
Don't be a dickhead

View map

3... 2... 1... Marco - Polo!

This is polo. Hardcourt polo. Homemade mallets, customised bikes, and a long neck of Coopers. Three players to a team, first to five goals wins. Crashes are common, and swearing is required.

It takes a combination of bike control, ball handling skills, and a general disregard for personal safety to succeed in this modern interpretation of the classic 'high society' pastime.

Beginning in the States several years ago, and making its way through Europe, hardcourt bike polo is pretty big down under. With groups of bike nuts from nearly every city heading out on weeknights and weekends to vacated city carparks or empty courts to ride bikes, cross mallets, and drink beer.

This shit isn't some fad, it's legit. Melbourne recently hosted the first Australian nationals, and August will see the next world championships being held in Berlin, Germany. Ah, Germany. Fortunately, to get a taste of some mallet action you only need to travel as far as the multipurpose courts on Wakefield Street. Bring an old bicycle (even your little sisters pink mountain bike or unicycle if you're that way inclined), a helmet, and a your favourite brew. Mallets provided. Don't be a dickhead.

By Tom Partington

What:
Two Renewed - the opening of two new spaces

Where:
151 & 153 Hindley St, City


When:
Fri June 25, 6pm

How Much:
Free

Walking around Glasgow last year reminded me of Adelaide. Straight streets and 'For Lease' signs everywhere. So much unused space. About a years work by a collective of wonderful locals sees the fruits of Renew Adelaide's finally come to be with two new spaces down our west end. First, the Workshop, four local fashion designers working and retailing in the same west end space. Secondly, Becci Love's The Reading Room. There's even more in the works, but for now, you should all support these two new ventures. Renew Adelaide is changing our city. - DG

What:
Absolute Boys, Terrible Truths, Bad Habit, Old Mate

Where:
Exeter, Rundle St, City

When:
Sat Jun 26, 9pm

How much:
Free

Whether they're named after that Panel of Judges song or cult manga (or inadvertently both), Absolute Boys surpass any expectations you'd gather from these two reference points. Or of live minimalist-pop - they shred with the fervent zeal of a trucker that's in a complicated relationship with speed. You'll be sure to hear some gems from their newly released 12" Minimal Wage. Joined by equally fervent Velociraptor, Feathers, and Kitchens Floor. This is first-rate minimalism. - SS

What:
Art Noise

Where:
Format, 15 Peel St, City

When:
Sat June 26, 10pm

How Much:
Free

Do you like clipping distortion, droney sounds, and ambient explosions until your eyes bleed? Care for the visceral? Rather than lyrics about Origami and red wine? WELL, this is for you. Featuring noise raconteur Mitchell Brennan, Wet Patch, onion, Radical Creation and the imitable and semen charged DJ Sex Pest, it's probably going to plunge into the usual debauchery, but we wouldn't have it any other way. - DG  

If you could bottle Aussie culture into a cocktail of complex but easily identifiable brands, it would include: Cottee's Cordial, the pre-teen introduction to stimulant consumption before year 8's were drinking Red Bull and year 9's were taking hard drugs. Don't forget too, Heinz Baked Beans, another form of stimulant that you could share with that cute girl next to you in class that you used to tease because you fancied. If you had an outdoorsy hard-working dad, I'm pretty sure your knowldge of Hard Yakka stuff would be immense, mostly due to the embarrassment of his creamy thighs coming to pick you up in his stubbies. Lastly, but not least, the Chiko Roll, that delicious crunchy treat some people think consists of cabbage, but most, would not have a clue.

This is but the tip of the iceberg in Australian cultural reference points, I'm sure you could think of more, and PICTIONAUSSIE - the new Aussie version of Pictionary - is where you can put this previously unutilised 'skill' to use. Ken Done? Uluru? The Opera House? Ivan Milat? Oh yes, you could be a winner.

Thanks to the makers of PICTIONAUSSIE we have one to giveaway. To be in the running just answer the following question

This week's question:
I'm going to doodle..

a) Uluru

b) Baked Beans

c) a psychedelic self portrait of me on a litre of Cottee's

d) a doodle.

To be in the running, send your answer AND postal address to win@fivethousand.com.au, winners will be notified by email. Subscriber only entry. Not a subscriber? Noes! It's free you Chikos. Sign up here