The Thousands

Thursday July 8

Issue 034 - peace

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Cover photo by Stephanie Lyall. If you would like to submit a cover shot email daniel@rightanglestudio.com.au

What:
The Gentlewoman

Where:
Good newsagents and online here

When:
Published twice a year. Issue #1 now completely sold out online - subscriptions will begin from issue #2 (winter 2010).

How much:
Around $11 per issue from shops. Around AUD $37 for an annual subscription including postage.

I recently asked a man friend: 'Who do you think is the modern woman? Does she exist?' He answered by walking me to the newsagent and hand-balling me a copy of The Gentlewoman. And thank god he did. The Gentlewoman is a new magazine, the young sister to Fantastic Man, and a recently published bi-annual discussion with modern women on contemporary topics. Now don't be put off by the Gill Sans and pastel pink - its aesthetics are not ambitiously modern - what's important is that its thoughts are.

Whether it's as fantastic as its older brother is questionable - part one could have been braver and the jewellery section doesn't quite work for me. However it cleverly steps around the 'cynical cool of recent decades', engages some incredible interview talents, and shits on most other women's magazines.

After discussing architecture, intimacy, food, fashion, ambition - topics not exclusive to men or women - and more, I think the modern woman emerges intelligent, business minded, independent, quite philosophical and very feminine. And I like this. I also like the cute reference section in the centerfold which links people and places from all across the magazine. All in all, the modern woman is looking good. She sounds good. And she is someone my young woman self really wants to aspire to. 

By Marissa Shirbin

What:
White Magic

Who:
Ceo

On:
Sincerely Yours / Modular

There's just so many things to admire about The Tough Alliance. Campness, cheese, vitality, and hooks galore; all the good things about pop music that some have forgotten in oceans of pretentiousness and never-as-good-as-the-original recycling. Remember that clip for First Class Riot where they danced around like Wham with sexualised dolphins projected to a wall behind them, playing drums and dancing like doofus'? It's bliss. Camp while packed full of tawdry violence. A couple of guys that would down Vodka Raspberry snorkels then proceed to knife you in the alley. At least that's what they threatened/promised.

It was violence as a synonym for passion, for the pursuit of happiness, and First Class Riot, along with drug/love song Holiday, and the earlier tinny keyboard pop-hop of Make It Happen that made this stuff pretty much irresistible. If you didn't get it, you probably listened to too much bad metal / were too tough / took yourself too seriously / are included in the earlier first par jibe.

Now there's Ceo, one half of the alliance - the less cheekboned half. Gone solo, but not weakened. The boyish charm hasn't left and the reach for the happy is still there. Ceo touches on the more thoughtful, produced and ambient. It's pop electronica but without the solarium tan and pouted lips - and it's still for cheesy grins. Mediterranean guitar. Tribal beats. Chello. Strings. Bad vox. It shouldn't work, TTA shouldn't have worked, but it does. And I used to listen solely to punk.

By Glad its Friday

What:
Hijacked 2: Australia & Germany

Who:
Editors Mark McPherson, Ute Noll and Markus Schaden

Where:
Contact Manic Distribution

Exhibition:
For your diary. Samstag Museum of Art, May 13, 2011

How much:
$100

In 2008, Western Australia's Mark McPherson magically transformed his small B&W photo zine into a full-color coffee table book (and accompanying international exhibition) - with its charm and beauty still intact. ACP director Alasdair Foster even called Hijacked 1, "the most important photographic book that's come out of Australia in at least five years".

For his next trick, McPherson and co. have curated contemporary German and Australian photography, with a mix of methodologies and subjects. Hijacked 2 features some of that Vice/Hamburger Eyes-style photography you're familiar with - partying, nudity, guns, bikes. Yet these are positioned amidst a wide range of human experience and innovative aesthetics; like dayglo suburban landscapes by Louis Porter, or ethereal snapshots of the everyday from Thekla Ehling.

This massive tome packs plenty of inspiration and illuminates some great emerging artists. McPherson is already working on his follow-up act, Hijacked 3, and it's great to see a fellow Aussie producing quality work on an international stage. Buy this now and support independent artists, publishers, and daydreamers like yourself.

By Wilfred Brandt

What:
Morning Theft

Where:
Online

When:
24/7

Contact:
info@morningthefthomme.com

We've got no idea where this has come from, apart from a Jeff Buckley reference and that this new online label is only six days old. We don't know who Tom Guerin is. But apparently he's based in Adelaide and has exquisite taste in menswear. So exquisite, in fact, that he said 'stuff-ya' to all the nice-menswear-less retailers and went about designing his own gear. And then he had it made. And now he's selling it. To you. 

The collection is simple, tailored and neutrally coloured - everything a boy's wardrobe should be. And it looks so comfy! Check out the hang of those t-shirts! Have you ever seen track pants look so good? And 'Own the Black Woman Shirt' has definitely just been added to the boyfriend criteria.

Even though it'd be a major fashion faux pas, you could literally dress yourself head to toe in Morning Theft cos it ain't just pants or shirts, but shoes as well. And besides, you'd be dressing for a good cause because this Tom fella does nice things like build homes in Indonesia, and will have sales and the like to raise money for charity. Nawww. Isn't he sweet AND stylish?

By Stephanie Lyall

What:
Predators

Where:
In cinemas from July 8

Watch Trailer:
Here and with bonus Arnie commentary!

Win:
Thanks to Fox, we have 5 dbls! To enter, email win@fivethousand.com.au with the subject line Get to da alien choppaaaah!'

Simple as this: if you loved the original Predator, you'll love Predators. Producer Robert Rodriguez and director Nimrd Antal understand what McG didn't in Terminator Salvation : don't f!#k with a movie that worked.

So forget all those "versus" films; forget Babe 2: Predator In The City. Predators shamelessly reworks the original, and it's lots of fun. A mixed bag of elite killers are picked off in a jungle cat-and-mouse game set to Alan Silvestri's familiar, sinister musical motifs. Conveniently, the requisite hot Latino chick (Alice Braga) has read Arnie's original 1987 "debrief". Adrien Brody covers himself with mud and shouts at his attacker, "I'm here, do it, kill me now!" The Predator even rips out a dude's spine and skull, then roars in triumph while squatting as if about to poo. Man, it ticks all the boxes.

It's entertaining, suspenseful stuff, elegantly filmed; the Predator-vs-samurai duel is really something. Brody tries really, really hard to be an action hero, but can't resist the Christian Bale Method of speaking in a growly voice. But Laurence Fishburne is brilliantly nutty, channelling Marlon Brando in Apocalypse Now. Like Rodriguez, he totally gets the kind of film this is.

By Mel Campbell

What:
Lonely Hearts, LONELY Collection II

Where:
Online here

How much:
From $75

Related links:
Dandelion Tea

Sensible cotton undies and t-shirt bras never got a woman anywhere. Except perhaps to the prime ministerial office. (Sorry J-Gill - you say no to gay marriage, I infer you have boring underwear.) Sure there may be a world of comfort in saggy boy leg Bonds, but by no means are they appropriate attire for lolling about your abode drinking dandelion tea and arranging freshly-cut peonies in your airy loft studio. And loll we must, we are ladies after all.

Specifically designed for such activities, LONELY Collection II is the latest lingerie collection from NZ label Lonely Hearts, after enlisting the help of widely acclaimed knickers shaman Ella Sarjant (previously lead designer for Stella McCartney's lingerie range). What we have here is a nineteen-strong pastel and paisley army of vintage-inspired, sexy yet whimsical women's undergarments - and not a g-banger in sight!

Think silk mesh cut outs, frenchy black chantilly, dreamy chiffon, and web trim detailing, across a range of teardrop bras, '50s-style mid-waist briefs, bodysuits, and silk cami and boxer sleep sets. Ladies, you could wear a taco costume on top of these frilly bits and still feel like a million bucks.

By Rachel Elliot-Jones

What:
BreadTop

Where:
65 Grote St, City. Next to the TAB

When:
7 days, 7.30am - 8pm

View map

Don't know about you, but winter pushes me towards bakeries; though sometimes the pie-pasty-sausage roll trifecta doesn't quite cut it, nor does the chocolate donut-berliner-cream bun dessert cartel.

"Are there any other baked good concoctions out there?" I lament, ineffectively wiping sauce from my mouth with a waxy paper bag. I hear heralding trumpets sound, and see a warm light glow around 65 Grote Street in the city. Bread Top?

Finally the Melbourne-born East-meets-West bakery franchise has opened a store in Adelaide. There are so many baked good combos to choose from, you'll need all winter to try them all. Because I'm a sucker for New Taste Sensations^TM (and advertising), my eyes light up when I see items like "'Sausage Donut', 'Green Tea Red Bean Puff', 'Blue Mountain Coffee Bun', 'Apple Horn', 'Milk de Crunch', 'Taro Bun', 'Mini Pork Chop Bun', and the most amazing black and green 'Charcoal Garlic Bun'.
It's the perfect place to line your stomach for a night out, or a comforting lunch on a chilly day. Most items cost less than $3 too, so try a couple of flavours each time. Or be a glutton, and scoff that greasy goodness by the boxful.

By Sam Rodgers

What:
Beards

Where:
Your face

When:
Now, or die of the cold

How much:
Minus dollars as you'll be saving on razors

Image:
Courtesy of Maja Baska

Not many men can knit. We just aren't all that nimble when it comes to the click and clack required to construct warm woven knick-knacks. This puts us in a spot of bother during this cooler half of the year. Where quick-fingered lasses are able to knit themselves warm, wintry sheathes with which to protect themselves, we men become pale and pallid-faced, shivering uncontrollably for months on end. The solution to your shivers is nigh, however. Hark men! For the home grown hairy face case is upon us! That's right - it's beard season.

For those that have hit or passed through puberty and have testosterone to spare, growing your face out shouldn't be too hard. For the rest of us, well...listen up. Did you know that your beard grows faster in Winter, as well as when expecting intimate sexy times? Well, if you didn't - you do now. Both of which are good reasons to allow the facial forest to spread its bristled canopy. You know it looks good too, right? All the ladies will be smitten with your manly facial mitten. No excuses, gents.

By Bayden Packwood Hine

What:
Bitch Prefect, Fake Tan & Table Mountain

Where:
The Exeter, Rundle St, City

When:
Thurs July 8, 9pm

How Much:
Free

Well, there isn't much more to say here that we haven't said before. So let us remind you. Bitch Prefect are great. Fake Tan are great. Table Mountain is S. Wilson solo - great. Young Ryan of Fake Tan is off to Sydney for a little while, we aren't sure what he's up to, but he better damn well come back. This is a little farewell, not to mention a kick ass show and chances are there'll be people you know, and some you don't. -DG

What:
Steering By Stars 'Cables' album launch

Where:
Jive, 181 Hindley St, City

When:
Sat July 10, 8pm

How Much:
$10

I know some people who know some people that go all OMG for this band called Steering By Stars. They are kinda shoegazy and they have a song called Closer which is an unsubtle Joy Division reference. When is that ever going to get tired? You get the picture? It's epic, beatific, moody 'indie' music. They have an album out called 'Cables', this is their launch. - DG

What:
Collect

Who:
Patrick Wundke

Where:
Fausto Coppi Space, 15 Peel St, City

When:
Opens Wed July 14, 6pm
Runs until July 28

How Much:
Free

This says it all: "Every person that walks past as you stand still in the street has a collected history; stories, insecurities, failures, loves, passions, vivid and fading memories. Objects, places, cracks witness time passing and have been present or affected by events, some profound and some unnoticed. Found in the streets and in periods of introspection about conversations and observations, this installation of images, objects and sounds at Format are an arrangement of found and collected material with inherent histories and scars that shape the present." - Patrick Wundke

Just about EVERYBODY plays guitar or has one leaning in the corner of their room. Am I right? You know that guy who pulls out his guitar at every opportunity and proceeds to strum a few chords. Usually an A, a G, and a D and other variants of this Bob Dylan formula. In other words, just about EVERYBODY plays guitar, and most don't do it very well.

So, if you are a guitar hack, maybe you need some extra tools. A little something more than the A, the G, and the D. Maybe some dirty blues with a little bottleneck slide thrown in. This will get you kudos. This will get you girls and boys at will, they'll be begging for your blues.

We know this little local company called Stobie & Co, the make bottleneck slides, and they make records. For you this week, we have you a chance to get your slide on with a 'Kirk Special' pack from Stobie & Co, featuring Kirk Special's signature bottleneck slide, and a copy of his album in a handprinted sleeve.

This week's question:
When I slide..

a) I channel Robert Johnson

b) all the boys lose their minds.

c) all the ladies go wild.

d) I get the blues, so bad.

To be in the running, send your answer AND postal address to win@fivethousand.com.au, winners will be notified by email. Subscriber only entry. Not a subscriber? Noes! It's free. Sign up here