The Thousands

Hi. How's summer? Ours has been good so far. We've watched a lot of the television but we figured it's probably time we went outside for a bit. So, Happy New Year and all that. For those of you not heading to MONA FOMA or the mountain of sugar, we're thinking we'll ease back into it with some t-shirt screen-printing, local jewellery, tasty donuts, and Clubhouse Lane's new digs. All just in time for the end of the world.

Cover photo by Mitch Simmons. Tune in with your own! Send yours to daniel@rightanglestudio.com.au.

Dear David Sedaris,

We first encountered you when one of our good friends gave us SantaLand Diaries as a Christmas pressie. Despite being a totally predictable festive gift, and receiving it the same year as Bad Santa was released (yes, we're likening those short stories to that movie), we appreciated your sardonic sense of humour and icy wit which got us through the hot summer. Your oft self-deprecating but at the same time self-affirming quips made us as carefree as the weather claimed to want to make us.

We've heard about your live show and seen you reading When You're Engulfed In Flames on Letterman (and didn't expect you to sound like Woody Allen). We can relate to your attempts to quit smoking while your parents are chain smokers. We may disagree on topics such as Chinese food, but do appreciate your love of a quality meal. A lot of us creative types seem to equate good food with a refined art, right? Your book Dress Your Family In Corduroy and Demin inspired us to make costumes for our pets.

Anyway, your new collection of short stories, Squirrel Seeks Chipmunk, with its suitable concoction of twee and bitchiness, its New Age lab rats and baboon hairdressers, has made us rather keen to see your live show. So you're speaking at Her Majesty's this week. This is good. We heard you sometimes even give gifts to your audience members. Don't worry if you forgot to pack them in your suitcase this time, because we already got the best gift of all. Your presence is our present.

Sincerely,

Us

The first release for Brisbane-based Lost Race Records comes in the form of a split 7”, featuring the dream-pop of Nite Fields and the more experimental-pop leaning Happy New Year.

Local four-piece Nite Fields give us a straightforward tune, a sort of shoegaze/garage hybrid, somewhat like Slowdive, if that helps. It’s simple and unwavering to the point that it sounds like a condensed jam in which the members were daydreaming in tropical fields of the remote far north - what goes on tour, comes out on this record. It’s languid and repetitive, and the vocals give you the notion that you might have put it on at the wrong speed.

Happy New Year is the work of Eleanor Logan, a former Brisbane punk rocker living in New York. Taking a departure from previous, more angry rock n roll, the delicately spaced-out 'High Sea', captures you with its layered ambiance and foreshadowed melodies. A humbly sad tune which pleasantly distracts you with subtle dynamics.

The Adelaide shuffle is alive and well in 2012. We're not talking dance moves - we're talking the 'two steps forward, three to the side' movement of people and places. Shuffle your share houses, shuffle your pub of choice, shuffle your boyfriends, shuffle your gallery staff, shuffle your bandmates. Same circles, different set ups. Clubhouse Lane Boutique is the latest horse on the merry-go-round to shuffle its location, now nesting in the old Wax Museum/Format Zine Shop/Gymnasium space overlooking Rundle Street.

Yet Kelly's eye for vintage pieces and selected labels - Stolen Girlfriend's Club, Kuwaii, Cybele, Who Am Eye - is no less sharp now that she's trading from an altitude. In fact the new store sees plenty of fresh stock, from gorgeous 50s day dresses to so-bad-they're-good 80s batwing, draped and sequinned numbers. And boys, listen up! If you have a penchant for well cut vintage shirts and snazzy shoes, you'll be well looked after here. Accessories remain the pièce de résistance at Clubhouse Lane - handmade skull necklaces, delicate Black Jewls pieces and a pristine range of bags are hard to walk past. In all its incarnations and at all of its previous locations, Clubhouse Lane has been a shining light on the Adelaide vintage landscape. Shuffle in to help warm its new house as soon as you can.

Some films really get you in the guts, and for me Young Adult was one. At times bitingly funny and achingly sad, Jason Reitman’s dramedy recalls Bad Teacher in its fearless refusal to make its heroine likeable, and Diablo Cody’s shrewd script explores how we clutch for reassurance when we panic that our salad days are behind us.

Popping Teenage Fanclub in her cassette player and armouring herself with primping and drinking, former high-school queen bee and now young adult author Mavis Gary (Charlize Theron) returns to her loathed Minnesota hometown to steal back her high-school boyfriend Buddy Slade (Patrick Wilson), who’s now happily married with a baby. She finds an unexpected kindred spirit in a former classmate, nerdy Matt Freehauf (a terrific Patton Oswalt), who’s wallowing in his own early-’90s heyday for the more understandable reason that a vicious (and mistaken) gay-bashing by local jocks left him terribly crippled. They find a kind of comfortable honesty together.

Despite Mavis’s cruel narcissism, there’s something poignant about watching her realise the withering of her youthful power. But what makes this film both disheartening and admirable is that after everything, Mavis still can’t find a new leaf to turn over.

Screen-printing tees ain't easy. You gotta have top knotch materials, you gotta know your way around the silk screens and squeegees, and you gotta keep your cool. It's all about letting your qì flow. Slipping into the rhythm of production, letting the knowledge of the process permeate your joints and muscles, stirring the paint without spraying it, snipping the masking tape with a flourish and pulling the paint across the silk screen just so. Maybe it's just clever editing and a natty soundtrack, but Tommasco Pascale - the brains behind I Have A Theme - has got paint tins full o' qì.

'Flight' is the first theme in the cleverly named I Have A Theme series. The flock of artists includes a pick of the regulars – Lisa King, Matt Stuckey, Gary Seaman, Jason Ankles, Joel VDK, Owen Lindsay, Tristan Kerr, Twoone – and a sprinkling of new blood – Josh Searson, Jayson Fox, Beastman, Ryan Psaila and Naomi Murrell. Opening party at Magazine Gallery will have all the shebang – free beers, DJs, and thirteen limited edition hand-printed tees by each artist. Each tee comes bundled up in it's own little carefully labelled silver tin.

Ladies and gentlemen who understand and appreciate contemporary jewellery, this one is for you. Originally a graphic designer and now a full time jeweller, Adelaide lady Peta Kruger lifts the bar on jewellery practice in Australia. Her latest range, In-House makes this abundantly clear. With a nod to her love of sketching, the range of sterling silver and painted brass earrings, necklaces and brooches are impeccably made. Peta’s modus operandi for this range was to have fun making, and in a way that fits in with her lifestyle. As a result, In-House references her own home and the act of creating on the kitchen table!

Peta’s work doesn’t try to be something it's not. If you already own one of her pieces you’ll know that they really are works of art. Her practice is progressive and enlightened, working with geometric shapes and unexpected colour combinations. Peta does not simply make a product range; she crafts beautiful pieces that each stand on their own.

While we here in Adelaide take her for granted, Peta’s work is in demand in Melbourne. From Alice Euphemia to the incredible Pieces of Eight, they really love her in the east. It’s about time we sat up and paid attention too. In-House is a cosy place to start.

Summer is well and truly here. But it doesn’t mean you have to spend those sunny days turning a painful shade of rouge on the beach or sweating on the couch watching the tennis and wishing Raf was your boyfriend. Summer means Port Elliot and it’s glorious bakery.
 Port Elliot Bakery has been a south coast tradition for 17 years amongst those in the know. Not a scary one where 8 year old girls marry their uncles, but rather one for those addicted to freshly baked carbohydrates. And there's some good news for those of us who are stingy at the petrol pump, the Port Elliot owners have given birth to a new, closer member of the tasty family on Brighton’s Jetty Road.

Whether you’re feeling for a sausage roll, craving a kransky or pining for a pie, the Brighton Jetty Bakery offers all the usual suspects with the same well-loved recipes. But the sweet stuff is what really brings all the boys to the yard. Vanilla slices, custard tarts, bee stings and finger buns all represent and the chocolate donuts have stolen my heart. None of this stale, cakiness you find on the $1 donut shelf at the supermarket and no more just biting the icing off and throwing the rest to the gulls. The dough is chewy and sweet yet still so fluffy it makes the perfect pillow to rest your head on when you pass out in a baked food coma.
 So when you’re next in Brighton remember to slip, slop, slap and stuff your face.

So it's finally 2012 and according to all the world's leading scientists this is the year that the world will come to an almighty end. But what are you to do? How do you prepare yourself for your last year on this here earth? Here are a few tips and hints (OK, mostly tips) to get you ready:

Tip 1: Make a bucket list - a list of buckets you should buy on the off chance you survive in your bunker. Buckets will come in handy, especially when you wanna go to the toilet.

Tip 2: BORROW BORROW BORROW - all those items with no payments for 12 months or more are pretty much free now! Live it up!

Tip 3: Eat like there's no tomorrow - I’ve been doing that for the past couple of years and lemme tell ya, it's DELICIOUS.

Tip 4: Watch one of the Twilight movies - they will make you glad that the world is going down.

Tip 5: Move all of your shares out of calendar companies.

Also feel free to worship me. I will deliver you to the Promised Land. Contact The Thousands people to find out how you can send me enough money to guarantee yourself a spot on my Apocalypse Balloon (patent pending).

Sixteen years is a long, long time but Deerhoof just keep on coming up with exciting and innovative art-pop, all the while wearing the "best band in the world" tag from Pitchfork on their collective sleeve like it's more whimsy than a heavy burden. Supporting Deerhoof are Adelaideans but soon to be Melburnians Terrible Truths, my favourite band in the world and soon to be yours. Go see them for their last Adelaide show before they head to the big smoke, you guys.

We don't have to work too hard to find things in Adelaide. We know exactly what, where and when things occur. 'Your mate's band' 'at the Metro' 'on Saturday night'. We forget to visit the backstreets, take a punt on a musician we're not familiar with and notice the little things about our city. Moving Music aims to shake us out of our complacency with a top secret journey through the city to meet three special acts - Shaolin Afronauts, Steering By Stars (with Choral Grief) and Tom West - along with temporary architecture and unique experiences. You'll need to get emailin' if you want to find out where the starting point is!

Ever wondered about what goes on in the brain bucket of those crazy dudes in lycra that ride their pushies over MOUNTAINS (apart from various synthetic chemical reactions, Lance)? It's probably something like, "Man, this hill is really big. I hope there is a cafe that does a mean latte at the top that I can funk up in my bib shorts" or something more peaceful like the meditative jig of "Ride the bike. Ride the bike. Oh how I like to ride the bike". Under The Helmet is a look into what goes on in the minds of the professional cyclist, and features presentations from psychologists, commentators and former pros.

I caught a compilation episode of Man Vs Wild the other night. It was 90 minutes of non-stop survival techniques suited to any and every 'wild' situation you could ever find yourself in. But what about those times where you're fumbling around in dim light under the hanging baskets at the Exeter, or stalking prey across the Rocket Bar Rooftop? Hey Grylls? What's your advice then?

Julie White, however, is someone who has got this urban tribalism thing down to a very fine and fashionable art. Let no hair fall out of place with a Turban Headscarf, nor any of your lady-bits find themselves on show whilst wearing a Jungle Jewels batwing top. You could pop over to her online shop, which is currently having a 25% off sale, to load up your cart with these life-saving devices (throw in a Harem Cape and some berry Pleat Pants for me, yeah?) - or, you can try your luck in our wheel of fortune and land yourself a turban and a magenta batwing top by answering the following question.