The Thousands

Where can you play mini-golf in Adelaide? Actually, let me rephrase that. Where can people who shamefully don’t have their drivers license play mini-golf in Adelaide? Well, you only really have one option – The Beachhouse at Glenelg.

The scrooges that run the place have successfully made payment at The Beachhouse the most goddamn confusing thing in the world, but I’ll try to explain. You buy a $2 ‘Fun Token’ and add more $1 tokens onto it depending on the ride. Mini-golf is 9.5 tokens per person, so, if my calculations are correct, it will cost you an estimated $18.50 (including the beers you bought earlier now hidden in your bag.)

Once you’ve gotten through the entrance without being ambushed by hordes of chlorine-smelling children, gone out into the sunshine and picked up your putter, pencil and par sheet – you’ve made it buddy! The 18-hole course is not as good as when it was Magic Mountain, but those tricksy mounds and water features will get you every time. Just as well you brought those Peroni’s to give you the "magic touch". Feel free to make Tiger Woods jokes whilst you putt away too.

And a final word of warning, take a wide birth when it comes to the cafeteria. Truuuuuust me.