The Thousands

Every now and then I get a little misty eyed and wish I’d devoted my life to solving crimes rather than office admin. Telling the chief to shuttup and look at the results I was bringing in rather than the number of innocents I had shot dead would be waaaay more interesting than memorising excel formulas.
 
But maybe it ain’t too late. Private eyes still exist and, while they don’t really solve crimes, they do ‘investigate’.
 
Basically some rich broad pays you to go sit in a car and spy on her husband while he has it off with the new secretary from his work. You get paid to sit in a car, eat burgers and take pictures of people doing it. That means paid to watch reality porn and eat burgers! And even though it will most likely be one of the most horrific sights you’ve seen, you can always return to the delicious greasy burgers for comfort.
 
And then you put the burgers on your expenses account! So give these guys a yell and tell em I sent ya! Actually don’t do that cause they won’t know who I am. I make most of this stuff up.