~ The Thousands Horoscopes ~ Scorpio Season Oct 23 to Nov 21

· Thursday November 3, 2016

Alright, here’s the deal: Scorpio season is a big one, but it’s a good one. Scorpio is the House of Sex and Death, but in a good way – sure, death isn’t great, but it signals a kind of renewal and resurgence that’s really important. You probably won’t die – instead, the message here is to give in to new things and find yourself changing. We’re in a good position right now: we made it through Libra season, so now it’s time to let loose. Scorpios are probably the worst kind of people, but they know how to throw a party. Scorpio season places its eye on sex and death and money and the occult, and for the most part it’s really good. So throw a party or attend a party and get a bit loose – you deserve it, bb.


SCORPIO ~ Oct 23 to Nov 21
There’s a killer trio in your house right now, Scorpio – Mercury, the sun and the moon. Basically, that’s a big astral way of saying you do you. Mercury governs communication, the moon controls emotions and the sun relates to the self. Generally I would say party during your sign’s reign, but things are a little different for you, Scorpio – use this time to interrogate yourself: what are your dreams, goals, aspirations? Where were you this time last year? How have you changed this year? You value honesty – so be honest with yourself. Self-evaluation now will be beneficial in coming months; lie low and prepare for a big Sagittarius season.

SAGITTARIUS ~ Nov 22 to Dec 22
So, last season I told you to hold off on traveling for a little bit, and that’s still true. It’s especially true right now with Saturn in your house. Saturn represents limitations and practicality. Save your money and do something bigger and better in Sagittarius season. It’s your time very soon and you will, of course, thrive. But right now, gestation is more important. Stay put and release some of your restless energy through creative projects. Who knows? They could lead to the travel and adventures you so desire.

CAPRICORN ~ Dec 23 to Jan 20
Mars is still in transit through your house so passion still rules your life at this particular minute. It’s time to broaden the way you look at things. Capricorn, I know a linear outlook works well for you but think about the way the different aspects of your life interact this season. How are things really affecting you? Is one facet of your life impeding on another? Pluto is in your house right now, the planet of Transformation and Power. Fix what’s broken and cherish what’s working – the transformative power of self-love will prevail.

AQUARIUS ~ Jan 21 to Feb 19
There are no planets in Aquarius right now. Which is good! You’re stable, you’re fresh, you’re calm – you’re in a good place right now Aquarius. The danger here, of course, is becoming too comfortable in your state of normality. Shake things up a little – hang out with new people, and take calculated risks. Go where the vibe takes you. If that means getting a glam lunch, do it! If that means going to kick-ons, so be it. Go with the flow, Aquarius, and save the big stuff for early Sagittarius season.

PISCES ~ Feb 20 to Mar 20
I’ve never really understood Pisces people – so emotional, so confusing. [Mostly. Shouts to my Pisces friend Molly for being emotional but not annoying about it.] And this month is set to exacerbate all your needy and emotional tendencies, Pisces. Uh oh. Neptune and Chiron are both in your house atm, and they’re both in retrograde. It means that your outlook will be pretty neggy this season. But don’t worry! There are ways to combat this. Live nihilistically – party a bit and take risks, but not the kind of calculated risks that Aquarius is taking this season. I’m talking big boy risks. Of course, everything is relative – basically what I’m saying is that it’s time to get wild and leave inhibitions for Sagittarius season. It’s sink or swim, my fishy friend.

Aries ~ Mar 21 to Apr 20
Aries, I know you find power in your individuality and uniqueness, but this month that needs to take a step back. Uranus is in retrograde in your house, which means that your individuality has taken a hit. But it’s fine! Even the most individual of people can find power in a crowd – think Feist in Broken Social Scene or Kim with the rest of the Kardashians. New romance and friendships are flourishing for you this season, but take it easy – don’t let your Aries tendencies scare them away. That being said, if they can’t deal with your Aries-ness, are they worth the time?

Taurus ~ Apr 21 to May 20
Ceres is entering your house very soon, Taurus, and brings her own share of blessings and curses. Ceres will draw you towards your ‘horn of plenty’ – that is, she’ll show you what’s bountiful in your life. You already have everything you need; Ceres will just show you how to get there. Whether that’s creative, personal, professional, I don’t know – but she’ll help you find it. The flipside of this is that the arrival of Ceres also signals loss, compromise, and grief. Life is all about balance; you really can’t have your cake and eat it too. Sorry. While you may have to let go of some things, what you’ll find will be really good. Just keep an eye out.

Gemini ~ May 21 to Jun 21
Ah, beautiful gentle Gemini. Keep the gentle part of your personality facing outwards this season; the mutable nature of your sign means that you’re going to be particularly influenced by the pull of this house. Not necessarily in a bad way, but the witchy vibes of Scorpio Season tend to push mutable signs in a more reckless direction than usual. Keep yourself in check, and have fun. Alleviate yourself of stress – take a bath or go for a walk, and when you see an opportunity, snatch it. Just because you’re gentle, doesn’t mean you can’t Go In now and then.

Cancer ~ June 22 to July 23
You’re doing well this year, Cancer, and I think it’s because of the cautious side of your personality – but it’s time to shake things up. Cut ties with the toxic people in your life, regardless of any potentially negative consequences. It’ll be good in the long term. To compensate for this negative energy excised from your life, spend some time with those who you naturally gel with – Scorpios, Capricorns and Pisceans. It’ll be restorative, which is what you need in such a turbulent season. It’s not in your nature to be openly ambitious, but if there ever was a time for thirst, it’s now – decide what you really want and chase it down.

LEO ~ Jul 24 to Aug 23
You’re a fixed fire sign Leo, and things are heating up! Relish the spice and sting of late spring – you’ll find new passions and challenges in the midst of it all. Bright colours are springing up everywhere. Spend as much time as you can outdoors to soak it all in. It’s what you need after a spiritually taxing winter. Your transformation this Scorpio season is surface level, but hey – what’s on the outside can often influence how you feel inside. Find some new threads that make you feel a bit special – you deserve it. But don’t treat yourself without making sure you’ve done your share of hard work. Nobody likes a lazy lion.

VIRGO ~ Aug 24 to Sep 23
You’re doing well, Virgo! Scorpio season can be hot in all the worst ways, but I think that you’re thriving in this atmosphere. It’s time to shed your old skin and find a fresher you underneath. Go back to your roots and remember why you started out there. Mindfulness is important for you right now – remember, everything happens for a reason and what may seem terrible right now will probably be really great in the long run. Clear your head, and luxuriate in the chill warmth of Scorpio season. Sip the Kool-Aid for a bit!

LIBRA ~ Sep 24 to Oct 23
Poor Libra – all you want is love and affection, and all you get in return is drama, drama, drama. Sure – some of that is due to your highly inflammatory outer self, but that’s not necessarily an excuse. People should be nicer to you! But anyway, there’s nothing you can do to help that. Instead, focus on yourself – don’t worry about drama, because drama is impermanent. You’re here to stay. Sagittarius season will be really good for you. Sagittarius brings us journeys, which you’re in desperate need of. But for now, just realign yourself and look for some of that classic Libra harmony that you so crave.