The Thousands

Guys, we had a great bagel joke, but it had a hole in it (ba-boom-ch, we’ll be here all evening). On a slightly more serious note, the lack of bagels near my person (and the price of bread) has inspired us to start making our own bagels for lunch.

Admittedly, we’re not New York, and we don’t want to get pregnant (legend has it that bagels were originally gifts to women who’d just given birth) but there’s nothing like a small bit of dense dough to keep our carb levels up.

Pack them for lunch, pack them for breakfast, recommend not to eat them on the run, and we guarantee that they won’t get soggy like your everyday sandwich. We think the boiling has something to do with them being water resistant. You could go with traditional toppings like cream cheese, salmon, capers and rocket, or get more inventive with your peanut butter and banana. They might take a while to make, but they’ll last you a good few days. Not suitable for glutenphobes! Here’s how to make them:

Ingredients
2 sachets dry yeast (that green and yellow packet from the stupor-market or 20g fresh yeast from the baker)
1 tbsp sugar
1 1/2C warm water
3 1/2 cups plain flour
1 tsp salt
Optional: caraway seeds, sesame seeds, poppy seeds, minced garlic and dried herbs

Method in the madness

1. So dump your yeast and sugar into a cup, and half fill this cup with warm water (approx 1/2C water) – the sugar helps activate the yeast. Wait for 10 minutes until the yeast is frothy.

2. Place flour in a bowl, make a well in the center, and pour your yeast into the well. Fold the flour in on the water with a spoon, until it becomes dry enough to knead and not stick to your hands. Turn the mixture out onto a floured surface and knead the dough (the basic gist of kneading it to keep the air in the bread, so make sure when you’re folding, air gets amongst the dough). Knead it until it becomes stiff and elastic.

3. Set the dough aside for about an hour and cover it with a tea towel. Do some work while you’re waiting. Or make up a new dance. Or read a goddamn book.

4. Come back to the dough, and turn it onto a floured surface. Knead it again. Roll it into 8 little balls – they should be as perfect as you can get them. Cover your finger in flour, and poke a hole through the middle, and jiggle the doughnut shape a little. Nothing suss. Set these aside for another 15 minutes to half an hour.

5. Bring some water to the boil and drop the bagels in with a slotted spoon. Let them boil for 2 minutes or so – the longer you leave them in, the chewier your bagel will be.

6. Place them on a baking tray and bake them for about half an hour at 180 degrees Celsius, or until they’re golden brown, textured like sun.

7. Take them to work / uni / school / your grandma and / or start a youtube cooking class.