The Thousands

If you misheard us, we were just telling you we're back! Happy New Year! Próspero Año Nuevo! We're stoked on Zhou, hand-making to avoid the apocalypse (this rocketship won't build itself), eating locally grown, and being young adults again. The sum of all this? This year will be killer.

This week's covershot courtesy of Natalie Nikitovic. Be deadly like Natalie and send us your covershots and funny jokes.

Dear David Sedaris,

We first encountered you when one of our good friends gave us SantaLand Diaries as a Christmas pressie. Despite being a totally predictable festive gift, and receiving it the same year as Bad Santa was released (yes, we're likening those short stories to that movie), we appreciated your sardonic sense of humour and icy wit which got us through the hot summer. Your oft self-deprecating but at the same time self-affirming quips made us as carefree as the weather claimed to want to make us.

We've heard about your live show and seen you reading When You're Engulfed In Flames on Letterman (and didn't expect you to sound like Woody Allen). We can relate to your attempts to quit smoking while your parents are chain smokers. We may disagree on topics such as Chinese food, but do appreciate your love of a quality meal. A lot of us creative types seem to equate good food with a refined art, right? Your book Dress Your Family In Corduroy and Demin inspired us to make costumes for our pets.

Anyway, your new collection of short stories, Squirrel Seeks Chipmunk, with its suitable concoction of twee and bitchiness, its New Age lab rats and baboon hairdressers, has made us rather keen to see your live show. So you're speaking at the Powerhouse next week. This is good. We heard you sometimes even give gifts to your audience members. Don't worry if you forgot to pack them in your suitcase this time, because we already got the best gift of all. Your presence is our present.

Sincerely,

Us

The first release for Brisbane-based Lost Race Records comes in the form of a split 7”, featuring the dream-pop of Nite Fields and the more experimental-pop leaning Happy New Year.

Local four-piece Nite Fields give us a straightforward tune, a sort of shoegaze/garage hybrid, somewhat like Slowdive, if that helps. It’s simple and unwavering to the point that it sounds like a condensed jam in which the members were daydreaming in tropical fields of the remote far north - what goes on tour, comes out on this record. It’s languid and repetitive, and the vocals give you the notion that you might have put it on at the wrong speed.

Happy New Year is the work of Eleanor Logan, a former Brisbane punk rocker living in New York. Taking a departure from previous, more angry rock n roll, the delicately spaced-out 'High Sea', captures you with its layered ambiance and foreshadowed melodies. A humbly sad tune which pleasantly distracts you with subtle dynamics.

Three years is a good time in which to amass 'things', a great sum of them. And then refine them to your graduate show after finishing those three years of research into the depths of feminism, art, and minimalism. Courtney Coombs' practice doesn't have a centre, but each work in The Sum Of All Things will touch you somewhere... whether it be your heart, your head, or... well, I don't need to spell out innuendo.

Coombs' work has always been deeply personal, which is an incredibly courageous thing to do. Ever wonder why art school drop outs drop out? Critique is harsh, dude. Her work is deeply critical, whether it be of the art institution, the everyday, or the blankness of personality in this crazy world. Whether it be recontextualising found objects, fighting with their frictions, or having a sly laugh at the museum, The Sum Of All Things is more than the sum of it's carefully selected and sentimental parts.

Nineties inspired fashion really is the gift that keeps on giving. We've all gotten far too used to platforms and creepers to ever go back to uncomfortable heels. Bindi's have been proven time and time again to make anyone look 10% more like Gwen Stefani.  And just when we thought chokers couldn't get any better, Brisbane label Zhou have made them even more awesome with leather, sterling silver and pony hair.

Yes you read right. Brightly dyed pony hair tassels hanging off tiny chains linked to leather chokers to be more precise. Also known as a bad ass party on your neck that would make Punky Brewster proud. You're ears are also invited to the retro shenanigans with Zhou's colourful hair tassel earrings. The perfect mix of Catherine Baba glam and Willow Rosenberg grunge. And hell they can even double as dusters when it calls for it.

This accessories ode to My Litte Pony fun is just a taste of the label's spring summer collection, Ink Iris. Full of bright sass and bohemian spirit, Ink Iris blends multicoloured rorschach print bikinis with fiery red pieces, lilac breezy tops and even kimonos. A zesty range made for all those Gwen Stefani-still-high-on-girl-power, types.

Some films really get you in the guts, and for me Young Adult was one. At times bitingly funny and achingly sad, Jason Reitman’s dramedy recalls Bad Teacher in its fearless refusal to make its heroine likeable, and Diablo Cody’s shrewd script explores how we clutch for reassurance when we panic that our salad days are behind us.

Popping Teenage Fanclub in her cassette player and armouring herself with primping and drinking, former high-school queen bee and now young adult author Mavis Gary (Charlize Theron) returns to her loathed Minnesota hometown to steal back her high-school boyfriend Buddy Slade (Patrick Wilson), who’s now happily married with a baby. She finds an unexpected kindred spirit in a former classmate, nerdy Matt Freehauf (a terrific Patton Oswalt), who’s wallowing in his own early-’90s heyday for the more understandable reason that a vicious (and mistaken) gay-bashing by local jocks left him terribly crippled. They find a kind of comfortable honesty together.

Despite Mavis’s cruel narcissism, there’s something poignant about watching her realise the withering of her youthful power. But what makes this film both disheartening and admirable as that after everything, Mavis still can’t find a new leaf to turn over.

Paul Bowles sheds light on one of our biggest quandaries: how to survive the coming decade. ‘Get down with eating cats and dogs’, he says. ‘Ditch fossil fuels and opt for rags soaked in vegetable oil’, he continues. I would like to add another point to this memo: forget stocks and software, real estate and interplanetary travel - if you want to be part of the next generation of self-made millionaires, you’ll probably have to ride on the back of hair clips and brooches.

The three creatives behind Handmade High St certainly think so, taking their business off-line and investing in a shopfront. Expanding on a model made popular by other interstaters, Handmade High St offers small, affordable retail spaces to local designers to help encourage entrepreneurship.

Handmade doesn’t have to mean cutesy-coo. It can be edgy, contemporary and even, good gosh, unisex. You’ll find textiles, home wares and kids stuff which are great, but all trumped by an honestly nice range of jewellery and small objects from labels like Lust Not Want Not, Each To Own and Bunny Hornet. With thousands of trinkets with all the take-me-home charm and wit of a young Tom Hanks, handmade might just be the trademark of our zeitgeist. It is certainly the way of the future.

Perched regally at the Goodwill end of the freshly re-invigorated South Bank Parklands, The Stokehouse promises big and follows through like a champion.

It’s a gorgeous riverside haven, fitted out with taste and restraint, and the dishes follow suit. Well, the appetisers do – I didn’t get to the mains because, when faced with the delicately sharp beef carpaccio with horseradish cream, capers and truffle vinaigrette or the kingfish and ruby grapefruit crudo, it’s kind of hard to remember what steak is. In case you’re really good at remembering things, Ben, The Stokehouse’s sommelier, is literally paid to make sure you get sloshy on the best wine and oyster combination your little tastebuds can handle, while managing your budget like a third-term Australian Liberal government.

Book ahead to nab a spot here, because The Stokehouse's reputation is fast exceeding its capacity. You can have a cracking meal on a small amount of money, but if you save your dollars you can splash out like a fancy man and impress the hell out of a sparkly-eyed date. And in that spirit of the highest of eatery criteria, The Stokehouse surely passes, by which I mean that it might just get you laid.

Quaint. That's the word to describe this six-month-old gem on the main street of Samford Village. Ya Ya is the kind of place you'd stumble upon after a trip to the rock pools at Mount Glorious. Note: do this. Despite being a small hole-in-the-wallish establishment, Ya Ya has enough room for many a tourist and local alike. With sculptural interior design and service that rivals that of Twede's cafe, expect service with a smile and some knowledge.

The menu is based on a sort of 'tapas now, mains later' concept with lots of locally sourced ingredients. Their fresh olives are grown in Wivenhoe! It's an eclectic and seasonal menu, and the summer boasts everything from tempura prawns with wasabi mayo and beef skewers in plum sauce to fresh salads and their potatos come whole, roasted rustic style.

There's plenty of options for vegetarians, don't you worry your meat hating noggin, and they have a selection of traditional and new cocktails (not for the designated driver) and adjust their dish du jour according to what's fresh. And they make their own pasta! This is only a plus in our books. Just like mama makes.

Now I know that diverging from your native vernacular can be good for mind, body and soul. But if I invest my time and money in this, what exactly will the payoff be? According to one website, learning a new language can help you find your future husband/wife by ‘increasing the size of your selection pool’. But this is the clincher: ‘If you and some of your relatives, friends or colleagues speak a language that few people understand, you can talk freely in public without fear of anyone eavesdropping’. God knows what secrets the bilingual baby or the dudes at Agencia Loco have been keeping from us.

Now is as good a time as any to quit poring over Sanskrit, toss the high school French dictionary and start learning some real dialect. Brisbane’s Institute of Modern Languages offer left-of-fielders like Arabic, Portuguese, Finnish, Hindi, Gaelic, Polish and Swahili plus all your stock-standard tongues like Spanish, Italian and Mandarin.

Courses run year round and cater for everyone - from summer intensives (a quick fix if you’re planning a Eurotrip) to revision (if you studied in high school, for e.g.), level one (for the absolute beginner) and short courses for those just wanting to dabble (maybe to impress a lady friend by the time Valentines rolls round?). Best of all, seen as they are imbuing you with special secret code powers and all, it’s really more affordable than you would expect.

Paradigms, paradigems and paradijums all have a place in the world of public radio, and Ira Glass has seen and heard them all. An Evening with Ira Glass at the Powerhouse will see the American public radio personality share his wisdom on broadcasting and journalism. With one of the best public radio stations in the Southern Hemisphere and some of the best writers and journos around, Brisbane and Ira should get along nicely.

Brisbane-born, Middle East-residing artist Brandon Specht is back on home turf with his second solo exhibition, Deuce. Textural works inspired by geological strata and satellite imagery and created with a mix of water-based, enamel and acrylic paints have found a temporary home in Lust for Life's gallery (is there anything this little space can't do?) Opening tonight and on show till the end of January, you can ponder over Specht's transitional landscapes while you enjoy an espresso or get inked up.

Dr Dan Deacon and his fellow philosophers of sound, John Maus and Toy Balloon will deliver a presentation on new music and dance at Woodland this Thursday entitled 'Scattered Sounds for the Summer Crowd' (or Dan Deacon + Friends Live). With a special focus on how synthesizers and double drummers can induce hip movements resulting in the dance from which all dances come, rumour has it there'll also be a mass-participation interpretative dance.

According to all reports, Paul B Collins of Beirut fame is a no bullshit DJ. This is good news for those of you who hate tracks being cut halfway, aren't into the cheesiest of pop, and like a little bit of Soul in their tunes. He'll be spinning lots of 'mature' (don't worry, mature isn't synonymous with boring in this situation) tracks, from Braziliana and Motown to 80s synth pop and German techno. A whisky / gin kind of affair.

One natural disaster later and San Fran's Thee Oh Sees are back in town. This time with the vengeance of the gods after having been forced to cancel their last attempt at bringing their much-hyped show to town. On the flanks are Sydney supergroup Straight Arrows and local loose-jammers Knee Chin for a flood-free night of mutant punk and psychedelic pop.

In December, our google-eyed tumblrowsing led us inevitably to this pair of shorts. Just look at them! They're called the Aladdin Walking Short and they're by a New Zealand label called Sly Guild, which was started by three brothers "who see themselves in a bit of a ghost town when it comes to manufacturing locally for a streetwear market that is ruled by pre-made then print tees". So they're doing it all themselves, including cutting and sewing everything in house.

They've got a lot of new stuff in their online store now including some incredible shirts (our Sydney editor has bought one due to it being "clubwear in the resort-iest sense"), t-shirts, tanks and some classic camper style 5-panel hats.

Chad from Sly Guild has sent us over one of the Wellsgreen Fivers. A hand-made summer floral hat that must be won soon before it is stolen from our office. Buy it here for $69 NZD or go ahead and roll the dice (answer the following question).