The Thousands

I’ve always thought building a herb garden seemed like a really simple, wholesome way to improve my existence. Unfortunately I don’t own a shovel and have always been a bit too lazy for gardening projects.

My mind was changed when my friend Will told me about a ‘herb spiral’ he built out of bricks and dirt to impress his mum and pass a uni subject. He said the structure didn’t require a shovel and was designed to give all the herbs maximum sunlight, water and deliciousness. He sold the whole experience so well that I asked him to get me up early so I could breathe the morning air and feel the dirt between my fingers. I wanted a herb spiral to call my own. (When we couldn’t find any bricks we ended up using cinder blocks instead. Now it looks like I have medieval cinder block fortress in my yard. Much cooler.)

To make your own herb fortress you will need:

- Cinder blocks
- Newspaper or cardboard
- Four types of herbs
- Organic potting mix
- Manure
- Hay/straw (don’t get it from the guy on Heidelberg Road if you can help it, he’s surly.)

Step 1: Choose herbs worthy of a fortress.

Step 2: Weed out a dirt patch in your yard.

Step 3: Lay down cardboard or newspaper and spray with water. This stops weeds getting through and will eventually break apart.

Step 4: Build an impressive, spiralling tower with your bare hands.

Step 5: Layer hay, potting mix and manure like a big dirt lasagne until you reach to top, making sure to water between each layer. This apparently creates a very fertile drainage system.

Step 6: Dig little herb holes into the top of the dirt lasagne, fill them with potting mix then plant away! Make sure you read the packets and plant the herbs that need the most sunlight up the top. Will also told me it’s good to tickle the roots hehehehe.

Step 7 (optional): Find a woodland creature or gnome to guard your herbs. We chose a deer because it’s a gentle soul but can be fierce if need be.