The Thousands

Dear David Sedaris,

We first encountered you when one of our good friends gave us SantaLand Diaries as a Christmas pressie. Despite being a totally predictable festive gift, and receiving it the same year as Bad Santa was released (yes, we’re likening those short stories to that movie), we appreciated your sardonic sense of humour and icy wit which got us through the hot summer. Your oft self-deprecating but at the same time self-affirming quips made us as carefree as the weather claimed to want to make us.

We’ve heard about your live show and seen you reading When You’re Engulfed In Flames on Letterman (and didn’t expect you to sound like Woody Allen). We can relate to your attempts to quit smoking while your parents are chain smokers. We may disagree on topics such as Chinese food, but do appreciate your love of a quality meal. A lot of us creative types seem to equate good food with a refined art, right? Your book Dress Your Family In Corduroy and Demin inspired us to make costumes for our pets.

Anyway, your new collection of short stories, Squirrel Seeks Chipmunk, with its suitable concoction of twee and bitchiness, its New Age lab rats and baboon hairdressers, has made us rather keen to see your live show. So you’re speaking at the Powerhouse next week. This is good. We heard you sometimes even give gifts to your audience members. Don’t worry if you forgot to pack them in your suitcase this time, because we already got the best gift of all. Your presence is our present.

Sincerely,

Us