The Thousands

So it’s finally 2012 and according to all the world’s leading scientists this is the year that the world will come to an almighty end. But what are you to do? How do you prepare yourself for your last year on this here earth? Here are a few tips and hints (OK, mostly tips) to get you ready:

Tip 1: Make a bucket list – a list of buckets you should buy on the off chance you survive in your bunker. Buckets will come in handy, especially when you wanna go to the toilet.

Tip 2: BORROW BORROW BORROW – all those items with no payments for 12 months or more are pretty much free now! Live it up!

Tip 3: Eat like there’s no tomorrow – I’ve been doing that for the past couple years and lemme tell ya, it’s DELICIOUS.

Tip 4: Watch one of the Twilight movies – they will make you glad that the world is going down.

Tip 5: Move all of your shares out of calendar companies.

Also feel free to worship me. I will deliver you to the Promised Land.  Contact The Thousands people to find out how you can send me enough money to guarantee yourself a spot on my Apocalypse Balloon (patent pending).