The Thousands

If you have a pathological fear of performing but have always wanted to partake in some sort of communal musical frivolity, read on. I have a solution to your problem. Turn the fate of your lapsed sightreading skills around! Erase the scars left by pushy, gospel-obsessed music teachers! Eliminate the possibility of having all eyes on you by hiding behind someone else’s head! Sing quietly along to Talking Heads in your bedroom no longer, my friend. Sing loudly and proudly in a choir!

The things you’ll need to join a choir are as follows:
1. A voice – if it can hold a tune, that’s a bonus.
2. That is all.

Choirs come in various shapes and sizes. We recommend joining a small themed choir – for example, ‘we only sing sad songs‘, or ‘we only sing epic arrangements of Beyonce tracks‘ as opposed to jumping straight into Handel’s Messiah or trying out for the Morricone 100-plus ensemble.

Hey, why not set up a choir with your friends? It works best if you know some boys with deep voices and some girls with high ones (or, y’know, vice versa), and it will help if at least one of you is somewhat music-literate. There will always be one person who is great on the volume but not so great on the pitch, and another who was a child prodigy and will demand that everyone pay extra close attention to the 6/8 timing in the coda instead of just bumbling on through. Everyone else will fit somewhere in between, and after a rough practice or two with some Googled sheet music your dulcet tones will be bringing sweet a capella action to lounge rooms, parks, stoops and concert halls in no time. Christmas is a great time to get started – we promise your neighbours will really appreciate a rousing rendition of Good King Wenceslas at 3am on a Saturday. True!