Oil Stained Brain custom motorcycle exhibition and opening night party - GIVEAWAY

You say 'Our Navy is smaller now than at any time since 1917', well Governor, we also have fewer horses and bayonets…”. This was more than a zinger, it highlighted the modern uselessness of goddam horses. Cup weekend is so great though. Really! All the arseholes in Melbourne are in Flemington obsessing over useless horses, and vomiting and urinating on one another.

This leaves room for civilised people to organise things like Oil Stained Brain. Two days of sweet custom motorcycles, art, music and movies. On Saturday and Sunday 1000 £ Bend will reek of petrol fumes rather than horse shit, while 30 custom motorbikes by garage builders as well as established custom shops will be on display, alongside a lowbrow motorbike art show and a custom bike gear sale. All this for a gold coin. Film screenings, including Hardtailed Harlots and Cafes & Classics, will happen at 12 and 3pm each day for $10.

There's an opening party on Saturday night too, $20. Some Bitter Sweet Kicks swamp rock. Some free rum. And some movies. I'd be hoping for someone doing donuts too, which is another thing horses are useless at.