The Thousands

Melbourne drinking culture can be so rude. People cutting in front of you in the bar queue. Middle-aged weirdos whose drunken dancing smashes a tray of water glasses. Packs of shrieking hussies drowning out your conversation. People who poo on the carpet.

Rest assured, nobody poos on the carpet at Bar Etiquette. (Finding the men’s loo, however, is slightly challenging as its walls are made of doors.) Sydney Road’s newest neighbourhood watering hole is an oasis of civilised drinking in an uncivilised world. The mood is affable, the furniture Hard Rubbish Chic, and you can enjoy your space, whether that be downstairs propping up the bar, sucking face with Nick O’Teene in the back courtyard, or lounging in a series of upstairs rooms tricked out in vampiric red, Chinese paper fans and parasols, and electric imitation fireplaces.

The thoughtfully curated drinks list includes delicious microbrews on tap, Coopers longnecks, America’s beloved Samuel Adams lager, and the mysterious ‘Martini From The FUTURE ($20)’. (It is the one you are drinking three hours later when the bar is closed and they’re playing the Blackadder theme song to get rid of you… in the nicest possible way.)