The Thousands

Japan isn’t just giant robots, schoolgirl assassins, Hello Kitty and loitering around vending machines drinking beers. Sure, that’s a big part of it, but there’s also a quieter, Zen-like side to the country. That’s the bit Kappaya focuses on. A Japanese ‘soul food’ cafe, it’s all about elaborately prepared sushi dishes, ‘no wave’ decor and a delicate calm. All of which can be shattered with some inappropriate sex stories…

‘1970s Tokyo student lounge’ is a vaguely accurate way of describing the layout and maybe that’s what prompted the outpouring of messed-up dating stories. Or maybe the very brown, very large and very vintage couch in the front section has weird psychoactive properties? Whatever the case, the ears of local hipsters in semi-ironic cowboy shirts definitely pricked up when we started dropping FULL NAMES and sex stories. Oppps.

For the record, the coffee is great, the staff are all super nice and the meals are impossibly pretty. Basically, it’s a sea of calm and tranquillity – until you destroy it with your smut and Penthouse forum stories. “What’s that? She’s behind me?”