The Thousands

Once I was playing a game of Canasta in the shade of The Melbourne Club’s gigantic Plane trees. Whereas I would normally face-off against my Geelong Grammar cronies, my playing partner on this particular day was Kanye West.

The sun sure was fierce but not half as fierce as Mr West, who had me licked within two shakes of a dry martini. What made the experience dreadfully ‘common’ was not so much my loss as the way my adversary grandstanded his victory. So much for the old adage: ‘humbler in victory’. Are we to learn nothing from the last two World Wars?

"Fool. Please," I seemed to say. "Where does it state in our Articles of Association that one may enter The Melbourne Club in a neon hoodie and crazy-crazy shoes?" Kanye peered at me over his glasses and, with roguish confidence, replied, "If not me, then who? Someone could be a better rapper, dance better. But what other black guy would a white person use as a fashion reference?"

Anyhoots, after any altercation at The Melbourne Club, ThreeThousand recommends a coffee at the adjacent Liaison café. It’s one if the best coffees in the city and the people who own it are just brilliant.