The Thousands

Much like the illegal incendiary device on the back of this bike, 2012's fuse has been lit. It is now counting down the moments until it can explode in our butthole, but we will be one step ahead. Marking the apocalypse on this handy cat calendar. Learning to cure our own meats in a basement and stop gang violence and co-exist with nature as it reclaims all the swimming pools.

Covershot by Andrew Johnson. Be deadly like Andy! Send covers to melbourne,photo@thethousands.com.au.

Most concert films are crap. It’s weird because live music can be the most mind-blowing experience of your life but something about putting it on film tends to sap it of its specialness. There are of course exceptions and anyone who’s seen Burning, Parisian filmmaker Vincent Moon’s ode to Mogwai, will testify that he does things differently. Instead of cobbling together sweaty greatest hits cash grabs, Moon strives to figure out what it is that makes an artist connect with people then creates a piece of poetically paced, beautifully shot cinema about it.

With An Island, Moon has chosen the chamber pop of the stupidly talented Danish band Efterklang for his latest investigation. The film follows the band at home on the remote island of Als as they make music in unlikely places (on the backs of trucks, in rustic barns, in school halls and other generally stunning Scandinavian locations) and pieces together little anecdotes from wiry frontman Casper Clausan’s life in the town.

The best part is they get their family and townspeople to collaborate on new arrangements of the already lush and playful Efterklang songs. The genuine joy on everyone’s faces as they build the music is incredibly uplifting. It’s a beautiful statement about how songs aren’t the work of untouchable geniuses working alone; rather they’re the result of lives lived in communities that shape the players.

If you are going to Sugar Mountain on Saturday you will see many things. But none will bend your synapses quite as thoroughly as SUN ARAW's live collaboration with Perth artist Ben Baretto. Sharing the stage with LA's one-man psyche machine (aka Cameron Stallones), Ben will make one of his large-scale painting installations - "a crudely constructed large wooden frame through which paint will be poured. After passing over several materials, the paint will ultimately reach a canvas where it will be blended with fabric being rotated by mirror ball motors." All of this will be lit by spots linked to Cameron's laid-back sound collage. Because it wouldn't really be enough to publish only one side of this story, we asked SUN ARAW and Ben Baretto to interview each other. Here is what happened.

Ben Baretto: SUN ARAW seems like a fairly spiritual project, do you find yourself getting into a similar zone making the artwork or film clips as you do making the music?

Cameron Stallones: There are moments that it's reached for. Music has that immediacy that can just rip you right into the conduit. Making films/videos, or doing photoshop layouts or whatever always sort of feels like peering in at the fire from behind glass - but there's pleasure in the long slow moves towards whatever is in the driving seat. Funny enough, I think I had to really learn the immediacy of music more than I had to learn that patience. That was the quality that was more alien and therefore more alluring/addictive. read more

Christmas morning, my mom yelled into the kitchen, "Who's Saul Bass?' I fumbled a response, followed by an envious, "Did you get Dad a book on Saul Bass?"

The reason I had a hard time explaining who Saul Bass is would be the same reason why my mom would buy a book about a guy she knew nothing about for another guy (my dad) who knew nothing about him. Simply calling Bass "a graphic designer" sells short his involvement in so many amazing images, both static and moving, of the 20th century.

Saul Bass: A Life In Film & Design is surprisingly the first book on Bass. A coffee table tome of substantial size, it includes a jizillion images of his lesser-known works alongside his unforgettable images; poster art for The Shining; promotional art and title sequences for Vertigo, The Man With The Golden Arm, the original Ocean's Eleven, the remake of Cape Fear and It's A Mad Mad Mad Mad World, and logos for United Airlines, Warner Communications, and Girl Scouts, among many, many more.

You will want to live in this book. Saul's designs are warm, familiar and timeless. It's a testament to his mass appeal that three people as diverse as my mom, my dad and me would all geek out over him.

Okay who’s psyched about Sugar Mountain huh? I bet your first thought was, “I shall get to witness Mike Shoun and Lars Finberg wielding their sticks in unison! I cannot wait to see Greg Saunier paradiddling! And I am also pumped to find out what Tune-Yards’ drummer looks like.”

All right, maybe that wasn’t your very first thought. Drummers may be the butt of every rock joke but without these doctors of rhythm so many bands would succumb to chronic funklessness. As an unofficial opening to the festival, video artist Keith Deverell will celebrate the least-admired band member – and under-appreciated stage antics more broadly – with his installation Grace Note, presented by Speakeasy Cinema. On a huge screen at Polyester Flinders Lane the stickspersons from Fabulous Diamonds, Galapagoose, Forces, Fatti Frances and PVT will have their gurning faces blown up (in size, not explosively) and their drumming / percussioning action screened in slow motion.

Watch every facial tick, every drop of dribble cascading from their distorted mouths, every ripple of arm-flesh succumbing to the mighty beats they themselves have created! And, if you’re there at the opening night, you can also view Forces and Galapagoose in person, interpreting their songs in real time (i.e. playing instore).

Photographer Heather Lighton adds jewellery maker to her list of talents. Huh. Lucky for some. She's called her label 'H' and the summer range contains 18 different polymer clay bead and silk thread combinations, each one named after a different lady. For instance, 'Kim' is a cream/pink combination of five rectangular beads, 'Lara' is a set of blue eggplant shapes broken up by some small white beads and 'Milly' a set of six purple and red swirly circles.

But my neck's too big! Hey, and my boobs are too low! That's okay because Heather's made them adjustable for you to wear at a variety of lengths. You'll notice the look book features Pip from Gertrude Contemporary who seems to be the happiest model in Melbourne. I would be too if I looked like that AND if Heather had named a necklace after me - 'Pip' is a cream set of five circular beads on a beautiful pink thread.

Hello there. Take a seat on the stairs and I'll tell you a story. Jess Johnson and Dr Kyla McFarlane have made a commemorative project of timely import. "As well as really liking CATS, we share an academic interest in doomsday predictions and associated INTERNET websites." They have worked with eleven artists to visually extrapolate these universal concerns in the form of a 2012 calendar (CATS of the Apocalypse).

Contributing artists Tony Garifalakis (13 and Doomsday pictured), Anastasia Klose, Susan Jacobs, COBRA (JPN), Yvonne Todd (NZ), Lou Hubbard, Hannah Tai (Lulu and Hope pictured), The Holy Trinity (TAS, Apocatalypse pictured), Patrick Pound (Found photo pictured), Martin Bell and Lisa Radford have been invited to take part due to their demonstrated love of cats and/or affinity with doom culture.

"Earth's annihilation will sadly extend to the extinction of our feline friends," say Jess and Kyla. "As such we think a 2012 CATS calendar commemorating CATS in transformative END-OF-DAYS scenarios would be a fitting send-off for us all." The calendar has been produced using the finest default calendar template found on the OFFICEWORKS website.

OMG / For more information on cats, click here / For more information on 2012 predictions, click here.

Growing up on the south side of Chicago, it's easy to get sucked into gang violence and neighborhood disputes. Especially if you're Ameena Matthews and your dad is legendary local ganglord Jeff Fort. After getting involved in drugs and violence between the ages of 9 and 15, Ameena saved herself by stopping the cycle when she refused to retaliate to a gunshot attack that left her hospitalised.

Directed by Steve James (Hoop Dreams), The Interrupters documents a year in the life of Chicago's 'violence interrupters', an innovative program that monitors local communities, intervening in escalating conflicts. The interrupters are all people like Ameena who have been there, done that, and moved on. 'Moving on' is the hard part. Ameena is the shining standout of Interrupters, an extremely smart, articulate, strong-willed woman who uses her street cred and personal experiences to negotiate disputes and browbeat undisciplined youths with potential. Watching her go toe-to-toe with gang members two feet taller is inspiring, and the effect she and the other interrupters have is palpable.

The stories herein are heartbreaking, senseless deaths and incredibly young perpetrators - it will have you in tears at least once (watch the trailer for a sample). But Interrupters also provides insight, into the ongoing disputes and their cultural context, thanks in particular to the program's unique approach which treats violence as a disease (the infected are not evil, simply sick by association, and participating in learned behavior). The film drags in parts, but stick with it. As outsiders, this turmoil can leave you feeling helpless, but Interrupters provides some real hope.

Some films really get you in the guts, and for me Young Adult was one. At times bitingly funny and achingly sad, Jason Reitman’s dramedy recalls Bad Teacher in its fearless refusal to make its heroine likeable, and Diablo Cody’s shrewd script explores how we clutch for reassurance when we panic that our salad days are behind us.

Popping Teenage Fanclub in her cassette player and armouring herself with primping and drinking, former high-school queen bee and now young adult author Mavis Gary (Charlize Theron) returns to her loathed Minnesota hometown to steal back her high-school boyfriend Buddy Slade (Patrick Wilson), who’s now happily married with a baby. She finds an unexpected kindred spirit in a former classmate, nerdy Matt Freehauf (a terrific Patton Oswalt), who’s wallowing in his own early-’90s heyday for the more understandable reason that a vicious (and mistaken) gay-bashing by local jocks left him terribly crippled. They find a kind of comfortable honesty together.

Despite Mavis’s cruel narcissism, there’s something poignant about watching her realise the withering of her youthful power. But what makes this film both disheartening and admirable is that after everything, Mavis still can’t find a new leaf to turn over.

So an acquaintance and I went in search of The Grande - an old hotel we heard about that had recently closed. It wasn't that hard to find but it was magical. Looking inside the windows, I saw hotel room beds still made-up; the grand dining room still set for dinner; the grand piano had a film of dust upon its lid. "Hey, this is incredible. Look, at that beautiful linen. I can still see..." But my acquaintance was gone. I caught the tail of her dress leaving The Grande, heading back down Church Street and taking a sharp left towards the bush. "Hey!" I said as I struggled to keep up.

When I stopped running it was silent. In front of me, a bush pool. "It's the Hepburn Pool," my acquaintance said. "It was a natural feature but they converted it into a community swimming pool in the 1920s. It hosted the Victorian Swimming Championships in the 1930s." It made sense to me - the pool was Olympic size. Though nature was slowly taking over, we spent the afternoon swimming around. We admired the lane numbers (there are six) and used the 1920 grab bars to hold ourselves up in the deepest parts.

Herb quarks: not just a God particle floating in the Large Hadron Collider (probably) but a milk-based food floating somewhere between sour cream and cream cheese. It’s not even 9am and I’ve already learned something. That’s what Backstreet does: feed you and teach you.

Spinoff sitcom to the popular Birdman Eating, Backstreet is taking a softly softly approach to starting something new: while it operates for now as a nice but otherwise unassuming café (perched across the road from Fitzroy staple ICI), it will flip the lid very soon. For one thing, as soon as they get their liquor license (next week, fingers crossed) they’ll be closing late, which means their cold cuts will get an appropriately staggered airing (cured meats, pickled vegetables, marinated cheeses – all made in store and served from 4pm).

The ground level décor is simple, but head downstairs and Backstreet becomes a cosy, cellar-lit abode with a store room selling takeaway lasagne, a table for group dinners and a workshop where owner Tim will not long from now teach classes on how to butcher your own meat and actually use a Thermomix (these are separate classes, presumably). Back to the quark: Backstreet will put that on pumpernickel bread and then serve you coffee in floral print cups. This is the breakfast of 2012 (#prediction).

Believe it or not, sometimes writing for The Thousands can be pretty overwhelming. Sure it's only 200 words and you're never going to win a Pulitzer for it, but at the same time there's this awesome responsibility to do justice to things that are so obviously the product of much care and effort.

The love that went into creating Pinotta is almost palpable. By the bar there's a framed business plan that owners Andy and Heidi scrawled out one night over a lot of red wine: simple ramblings along the lines of 'drinks and Italian food.' Every meal is dropped off with a smile because the person bringing it to you knows how good it is. The fit-out is humble and crafted, and allows the food to take all the attention it deserves.

So this time I'm using less than my 200 words allocation because the pressure to convey why this is one of Melbourne's best restaurants is too great. But hopefully I have at least said enough to get you to go there.

Shadow Electric is but a shadow no more! It's finally opening. Tonight. TONIGHT! (As in, Friday.) Tickets have sold out but there may be tickets at the venue - perhaps keep updated on their Twit - OR you could enter our little giveaway here for a free double pass. Anyone with the surname 'Gosling' will be given preference in our email account. But the Gos is probably already going anyway - the opening night film is Drive. Saturday night it's Midnight in Paris and on Sunday it's Block Party. Those night's haven't sold out yet but they will because Shadow Electric is an outdoor cinema at the Abbotsford Convent, with gelato and a bar. And all you cinema buffs out there know that a potent potable on a deckchair in Melbourne is simply a must!

First of all, door prize for the best fright night costume! (I'll be coming straight from work so prepare to be horrified.) Second of all, Soph and Ash at Mistletone have put together a bone-chilling Friday 13th line up including Baltimore electro-schockers Dan Deacon Ensemble, the Dan Deacon Ensemble's favourite Melbourne band Parking Lot Experiments, John Maus, Rat Vs Possum, Jonti and the prog-leaning soft cock rock supergroup Montero.

Known and revered as the founder of trance-inducing Japanese psychedelic rock experimenters BOREDOMS, Yamantaka Eye is also a mixed-media artist, collaborator, percussion enthusiast, DJ and nice guy and hippie. And thanks to Noise in My Head and Bamboo Musik he's playing at the Mercat on Friday! 光光光.

SALE SALDI SALE SALDI ("SALE SALE SALE SALE").

Arnsdorf, Dress Up, Carly Hunter, TV and above have teamed up to share the one parking spot outside the Grace Darling and carry all their end of season stock, samples and one-offs inside and have a massive one day sale. It will 40% to 80% off everything. Sarà magnifico.

Sometimes when they are all alone, when no one is around, the big tent-pole music festivals (you know what I'm talking about) wonder what could have been. What would have happened if they hadn't been impregnated by one of the Red Hot Chili Peppers (who knows which one) and dropped out of university. If they had done that PhD and met a better kind of person. Really done something with themselves. Well I'll tell you. Sugar Mountain is what would have happened. Come without socks unless you want to spend the day searching for them. Because they will be blown off, you see. Music by Deerhoof, Tune-Yards, Shabazz Palaces, Thee Oh Sees, John Maus, Julianna Barwick, Sun Araw, Prince Rama, World's End Press, Absolute Boys, Pets with Pets and This Thing Presents DJs.

On the Mess + Noise stage on the mezzanine level you'll see Straight Arrows, Lost Animal, The Harpoons and Fox + Sui, plus a DJ set by Boredoms founder Yamantaka Eye and art by Rhys Mitchell and Raphael Rizzo. Creating objects and moving images for the entrance, the main stage and all over the place: Kit Webster, Maya Hayuk, Vincent Moon, Dylan Martorell, Kyle Ranson and Ben Barretto. (We are also helping to present the event and so we will be haranguing you to help us make something artful that you can take home and put on your wall, Zuckerbook or otherwise.)

Thanks to Penny Drop, California's Merrill Garbus will be playing her howling, coo-ing, clawing, layered afro-beat, hip hop, drum loop, dance floor genius at the Corner. It's her first Australian tour and she'll play songs from her second album w h o k i l l, with support from Melbourne/Sydney collaborators Fox + Sui and epic sound-maker / violin nerd Wintercoats.

Professor X and Magneto have had to shelve their disagreements from time to time and fight a bigger foe. Because, ultimately, they're not so different. Just like Grouse and Dancetaria. Two mutant leaders battling your sobriety. The crossover hit of the midsumma (festival). Homo superior? More like superior homos. Doing it team-up style. Whisky Houston and Whisky Business. Ann Ominous and Leather Locklear. Early set by Clairy Brown of the Bangin' Rackettes serving up more attitude than Emma Frost. It's like slash fiction except not terrible and you can dance to it.

In December, our google-eyed tumblrowsing led us inevitably to this pair of shorts. Just look at them! It's like you got carpet burn on a magic carpet.

They're called the Aladdin Walking Short and they're by a New Zealand label called Sly Guild, which was started by three brothers "who see themselves in a bit of a ghost town when it comes to manufacturing locally for a streetwear market that is ruled by pre-made then print tees". So they're doing it all themselves, including cutting and sewing everything in house.

They've got a lot of new stuff in their online store now including some incredible shirts (our Sydney editor has bought one due to it being "clubwear in the resort-iest sense"), t-shirts, tanks and some classic camper style 5-panel hats.

Chad from Sly Guild has sent us over one of the Wellsgreen Fivers. A hand-made summer floral hat that must be won soon before it is stolen from our office. Buy it here for $69 NZD or go ahead and roll the dice (answer the following question).