The Thousands

Thursday 21st January

In life, like at the drive in, we have limited water bombs to throw at unsuspecting passersby. How do we decide who deserveth the wet, rubbery wrath of our party esky? First we must decide who deserveth it not. The dry list this week includes Alice Euphemia (due to her bonanza sale party), Bruce (due to his sign that says 'Helmut Lang, $55'), Jules (due to it being a bar and being 'French Style'); and Ronnie Scott, due to him having Douglas Coupland's email address in his computer. 

ThreeThousand 240 - the water log

Also on the site right now:

MAP - The complete results of our writing bee! Hundreds of new posts! Okay, 55. (Click on 'writing bee' in the drop-down list.)
STREET - Jens Lekman rooftop show
WORK - Punch fashion PR in the nuts!
SHOP - Claire Incorruptible
READ - Changing My Mind, Zadie Smith

Cover image by Joe Miranda. If you would like to be deadly like Joe, send covershots to photo@threethousand.com.au.

What:
Teen Dream

Who:
Beach House

On:
Sub Pop / Bella Union

Related links:
Get single 'Norway' here 

Come January 23, 2010 the world will change. Just a little bit. Not too much. But those who know why will cherish the day. Australia will see the physical release of an album that is currently streets ahead in the reckoning (mine, at least) for best indie release of 2010. Teen Dream by Beach House. Premature? No way. Well, perhaps in one way. We get it three days before the Americans.

The story behind this record, much like the LP itself, is almost too perfect. It was made in upstate New York, in a building (once a church) now called Dreamland. It indeed sounds like it was recorded in a place of worship - lusher than an AA convention and infused with quiet, unassuming spirituality. It's not just that Teen Dream has all the elements of a great dream pop record - muted percussion, sexless vocals, and a loping, elegiac pace - it's that placed next to Beach House's first two albums, it sounds, impossibly, even better.

Even more than they were after Devotion (the Baltimore duo's second effort), the slowcore and Belle and Sebastian comparisons have become woefully inadequate. Beach House are just Beach House. Thank God for that.

By Mateo Szlapek-Sewillo

What:
The Lifted Brow issue #6, ATLAS

Where:
Independent bookshops and $25 including shipping from here

Launch:
Fri Jan 22 at Bella Union with Clue to Kalo, Guy Blackman, Rat Vs Possum, and Absolute Boys. Doors 7pm, entry $10.

Win:
We have a copy to give away! To enter email win@threethousand.com.au with the subject 'eventual protocols for bugs'

Ronnie Scott has been manning the guns at bi-annual attack journal The Lifted Brow for a few years now and he's launching issue #6 this Friday. We asked him what it took to make one of the best editions of a literary journal we ever set our cloudy retinas upon.

Penny Modra: Let's cut to the chase, Ronnie. You have DAVID FOSTER WALLACE in this rag?

Ronnie Scott: Yes I do, for one freak reason: His agent, Bonnie Nadell, is just crazily kind. David Foster Wallace is the person who has changed the way I read, write, think, and even feel more than anybody else in the world, aside from human people that I actually know. I said so in a letter, and after not very long, I had this thing just in my inbox, complete with, like, one typo.

I came up with a lot of stupid titles for this story because I was nervous and am generally confused, and then Bonnie Nadell, again crazily kind, picked the best one out of those. And that is why it's called A NEW EXAMINER, and not EVENTUAL PROTOCOLS FOR BUGS.

PM: And you have Christos Tsiolkas, Chip Kidd, Douglas Coupland, and Eddy Current Suppression Ring? Who was the hardest to edit? (It was Brendan wasn't it.) Read the rest here...

By Penny Modra

What:
Nine

Where:
In cinemas from Jan 21

Watch the trailer:
Here

Win:
Thanks to Sony, we have 5 dbls to give away! To enter, email win@threethousand.com.au with the subject ‘Directing a movie is a very overrated job'

Nine marshalls a galaxy of stars in stupendous musical setpieces: Penélope Cruz sliding down a swag of pink satin as if it were a banister; Kate Hudson's flirty, flashbulb-dazzled fashion runway; Fergie's beachside tarantella with arcs of sand cascading from tambourines. But based on the Broadway musical, based on Federico Fellini's film 8½, based on Fellini's own life, Nine feels as weighed down by intertextual references as a Folies Bergère showgirl by sequins and feathers.

Eschewing Fellini's self-reflexivity about creative narcissism, Nine betrays a conviction that aesthetics can paper over any dodgy gender politics; I emerged from the cinema glutted and queasy from its spectacle of female objectification. Just like silly-sausage '60s auteur Guido Contini (Daniel Day-Lewis), Nine doesn't seem to grasp that women deserve better than being men's eye candy and moral compass.

Day-Lewis succeeds in making Guido seem charming; Judi Dench gets the best lines as his tough-talking costumier. In an amusing twist on Nicole Kidman's cardboard-cutout persona, she's Guido's Anita Ekberg-esque muse. But the star turns are from Marion Cotillard as the wife losing her few remaining illusions, and from Cruz as the mistress who seems wounded by her own sexiness. 

By Mel Campbell

What:
The Narrows Booksale

Where:
The Narrows, Lvl 2, 141 Flinders Lane, Melbourne

When:
Sat Jan 23, 11-5pm

How much:
Prices varied but cheap! CASH ONLY!

Warren at the definition-confounding gallery/book shop/cultural driving force The Narrows came up with a great idea here. Instead of simply marking down the stock in his own awesome Narrows Bookshelf, he invited some of Melbourne's most intriguing and collectible artists to bring in unwanted books, catalogues, CDs and LPs from their own private collections for a one day sale.

This is a collective garage sale and an intimate studio visit in one. Aside from a chance to pick up some bargains and rarities, it's an opportunity to peek inside the heads of artists like Matt Hinkley, Misha Hollenbach, Josh Petherick, Matt Griffin, Lisa Radford, Christopher LG Hill and Simon Taylor to find out what they like to read, listen to and eventually happily pass on.

In Hinkley's case, there are "monographs on Hany Armanious, Buckminster Fuller, Ugo Rondinone, Sigmar Polke, Barry McGee, old Purple magazines, the Whitney Biennale catalogue from 2004," while Matt Griffin forwarded some cover images through of such titles as How to Teach Your Baby to Swim, A History of Orgies and the self-proclaimed BEST BOOK EVER WRITTEN ON THE SUBJECT OF SELLING! He may or may not be joking. (Just don't let him talk you into any funny stuff.)

By Max Olijnyk

What:
Art Loves Haiti

How:
Donate art to auction by emailing art4haiti@gmail.com with an image, two lines describing the artwork and a short bio. Please know that you will also be donating postage.

Where:
Buy works online here. New pieces going up daily. Money raised goes directly to Save The Children: Haiti

Contact:
art4haiti@gmail.com

You might already know that Sarah Larnach does incredible things with water colours. She's created album artwork for Ladyhawke, illustrations for Amanda Maxwell's book, Nobody Told Me There'd Be Days Like These, worked at Michel Gondry's Partizan Studio and exhibited in galleries here and overseas.

What you probably don't know is that when an earthquake hit Haiti last week, Sarah's sister, her brother-in-law and their three children were in Port-au-Prince. Her sister and youngest niece are okay. Her brother in law and three-year-old niece are not. They're still searching for Kofie-Jade, who is five.

Haiti might be thousands of miles away, but it's definitely not out of reach. Sarah has already raised over $2000 for relief efforts by selling her artwork. She's going to raise more - and you're going to help her.

If you don't have cash, send art. If you have a blog, send people towards this site. If you just got paid click here and bid on pieces by Dave Ladd, Shane Hansen, Henrietta Harris and more. If you want to donate directly, do that too at Save The Children: Haiti. Whatever you do, it will help.

By Nadia Saccardo

What:
BRUCE Buy Sell Trade

Where:
402 Queens Pde, Clifton Hill

When:
Mon-Sun 10.30am-7pm

Contact:
9486 5432

View map

Today, my dear mother took me to an op shop. Not any op shop, but the greatest op shop in the world. At the beginning I was hesitant, to say the least. I hadn't the energy to scrounge around some damp-smelling hovel desperately searching for a non-moth-bitten jumper or a non-cigarette-burnt skirt.

As we pulled up to the quaint shopping strip of Queens Parade, a clean, neat window display welcomed me. A sandwich board out the front presented a surprisingly delicious example of what they had inside: 'Helmut Lang singlet $59.00, Vivian Westwood shirtdress $110.00'. Fuzzy feelings hit me faster than when the Eiffel Tower fireworks burnt six holes in my BCBG beret.

Inside, Bruce confirmed these feelings and beyond. Having a play with Diane Von Furstenberg and Lanvin as well as Issy Miyake and Miu Miu erased my original perception that vintage stores smell like old man pee and baby vomit! Bruce does not smell of old man pee and baby vomit, it smells fashionable and fabulous! I assure you of that. I will never doubt my mother again.

By Natalie Nikitovic

What:
Community Gardening

How much:
$32 per year

Contact:
9429 3084

When I arrived in Melbourne I put my name down for a garden plot at the Abbotsford Children's Farm. Want to know how far I am down the list? Ten years. No shit. So, naturally, I started searching for something to keep my hands dirty in the meantime.

Here's what I found. Alternative non-profit group Cultivating Community runs public vegetable gardens in most of the housing estates all over Melbourne. In theory, these gardens are for residents, but due to some extended vacant lots, there's some flexibility. It will take some negotiating, but if you ask really nice you can have one - today!

For success, you're best to steal ideas from the 80-year-old Vietnamese lady who grows pumpkins the size of jet skis. She doesn't speak English, but with a few hand signals, you can get the jist of what she's trying to show you. There's a chance she's a wizard.

By Brad Dunn

What:
Jules Bar & Cafe

Where:
81 High St, Westgarth

Hours:
Open 7 days from 5pm, licensed until 1am

Free:
Owl impression from a particularly buoyantly coiffed owner operator (if you time it right).

View map

French style. It's what you do with something plain. And zut alors! the elegant babes at Jules have done it. A trio of talent, Moi Rogers purveys the other kind of jewels at Glitzern, Jasmine MacGowan thinks and writes a lot about the intellectual side of gay zombie porn and Michelle Dufty crafted Jules's Spanish cousin, Julio Cafe, out of an old milk bar, a bit of money and a generous dose of witty charm.

For inspiration in business Michelle looks to Dave. Bowie that is. Which means she considers all the senses. Sound, vision, changes, and the finesse with which you incorporate oddities into a space. In this case a ceramic fly and a big fruit bearing freshly harvested ice.

The drinks list is awash with bubbles and spritzers, which are scientifically proven to make you feel excellent. The menu is high class low brow French. You can get a prawn cocktail, croque monsieur or provençal (braised leek and roast tomato within a toasted sourdough sandwich slathered with cheesy bechamel sauce). Classic hotdog and (french) fries, all served on a white oval plate. Jules is one for the ladies, and where there are smiling ladies, dudes will inevitably flock.

By Caroline Anderson

What:
MORE OUTS on the site! We typed our fingernails to the bone.

LAUNCH - Tonight, Clinton Hayden curates exhibition of international photography art stars. Hard part, directions to Guildford Lane.

LIVE - Slow Club (UK): supporting Camera Obscura at the Corner? Sure. TEARING UP the Empress on Friday? You bet your Belle & Sebastian beret they are.

LAUNCH - Don't forget The Lifted Brow's issue #6 launch. David Foster Wallace and Guy Blackman in the same room at last.

SALE - The Narrows Book Sale this Saturday! Matt Griffin bringing History of Orgies

LIVE - Duck Duck Chop instore at Missing Link. Perhaps you will buy the record? And perhaps your little buddy will too, we see him.

LAST TIME - Sabbatical's last ever monthly show at the Old Bar

PARTY - CWD returns to Favela Rock. Finds Agwa still cost $5.

LIVE - EP Launch for NO ZU - a Tic Toc Tokyo and Rat Vs Possum supergroup

LIVE - St Helens, Panel of Judges, Snawklor and Dirtbag

LIVE - Tone Deaf presents Beaches, The Demon Parade, DJ Etta Curry, DJ The Stabs, DJ The Last Gypsys. Is shame they can't hear it.

"LIVE" - Chipmusic is music made from the audio chips out of gaming consoles! Show stars Belgian computer celebrity.

PARTY - Sorry Grandma, it's Australia Day

LIVE - Black Lips sideshow selling fast!

What:
Alice Euphemia FLASH SALE party!

Where:
Shop 6, Cathedral Arcade, 37 Swanston St, Melborne

When:
TONIGHT! Thurs Jan 21, 6-8pm

How much:
All clothing marked down, up to 50% off a lot until stock runs out this week, but an EXTRA %10 at sale party tonight! Champers of course.

Description:
Alice has collected up all their excess current stock and guess what? They're throwing it out. Just kidding they're having a big bonanza sale starting today! And Karen's putting on a party tonight because she needs a champers and frankly so do we. Arnsdorf, TV, Tina Kalivas, Marnie Skillings, Therese Rawsthorne, Romance Was Born, Dress Up, Kuwaii, the LOT. - Us.

What:
Adam Cruickshank's 'Reverse Cargo' opening

Where:
Craft Victoria, 31 Flinders Lane, Melbourne

When:
Opening Thurs Jan 21, 6-8pm (artist talks from 5pm). Exhibition runs until Mar 6.

How much:
Free! Lots of champers

Description:
There's no two ways about it; IKEA is a complete nightmare. Screaming kids, doddering geriatrics, grey-faced husbands, deranged nest-maker wives blinking too much and darting about like hummingbirds... it's enough to make you rely on cinder blocks and hard-rubbish forever, or just run a nice hot bath for you and the toaster. Adam Cruickshank, however, has made lemonade out of those grubby lemons with an exhibition of works made from IKEA stuff! He's crafted a necklace from those little wooden pencils, and a headdress from those paper measuring tapes. He built a throne out of the wooden stools! You know what he's doing? He's taking mass produced objects and reworking them into totems... charms, if you will.... The exhibition launches Thursday at Craft Victoria at 6pm and apparently there'll be "delicious free wines, some of them with bubbles." - JC

What:
Francolin EP launch with Seagull, Darren Sylvester and Kieran Ryan (Kid Sam)

Where:
The Toff, Lvl 2, 252 Swanston St, Melbourne

When:
Thurs Jan 21, 7.30-11pm

How much:
$10 +BF from here or $15 +BF with CD from here or $12 to get through the door on the night

Description:
"Whilst many bands tend to steer clear of creating pure, fun, beautifully crafted pop music, Francolin are embracing it with open arms." Melbourne based Swedish songwriter Staffan Guinane manages to make you laugh and weep and dance without coming off as a total kiwi fruit. - Us.

What:
The School of Radiant Living with Heavy Mental

Where:
The Royal Derby, 446 Brunswick St, Fitzroy

When:
Thurs Jan 21, doors 8pm

How much:
TBC

Description:
Harriet from ‘the radiants' says the best thing someone ever said about the band was when Hailey from Super Wild Horses said they sounded like ‘Fleetwood Mac in the desert'. If that doesn't conjure up enough sound-visuals, consider the influences - ‘80s Dunedin, ‘60s English folk, American folk and grunge. Kick ass, to say the least. Accompanying said Radiants are Heavy Mental, who do a killer metal version of 'Ride My Pony' by Ginuwine, which Katey T dedicates to her Dad. Awesome and disturbing. - MO

What:
Flaner presents Sounds in the Pound

Where:
1000 £ Bend, 361 Little Lonsdale St, Melbourne

When:
Fri Jan 22, 6pm-midnight

How much:
Gold coin donation

View map

Description:
Is there any stopping Joe Gannon (it's shaped like a cannon)'s blind ambition? He's throwing yet another of his outdoor parties, except this time, to throw off the cops no doubt, he's having it inside at 1000 £ Bend! Will it be free? Let's call Joe and ask. Bring-bring. "Hello? Joe? What's the deal?" "We're starting at 6 and will be going until 12. Unfortunately I had to pay for a catering license and venue hire so I couldn't make it a free gig, but it will still only be a gold coin donation on the door. But this means that we are going to have a bar set up and we'll also be selling gourmet hot dogs in six different flavours! Six! Have to go. I think they're tapping my phone." Click. (DJs include Mu-Gen, Superhanz, Jean Pierre, Kris Baha & D'Manuel, Dick Versace, and Richard vs Richard.) - JC

What:
The Book of Levitation opening

Where:
TwentyByThirty Gallery at Pushka, Presgrave Place (off Howie Place, off Little Collins, off Swanston, off the world, off the universe), Melbourne

When:
Opening Fri Jan 22, 6-11pm

How much:
Free!

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Description:
The world's smallest gallery, TwentyByThirty at Pushka bar, are having another collaborative exhibition by artists Wanda Gillespie and Sergei Ignatievsky. This time it's a book, and supposedly it floats. The Book of Levitation will be hovering for a month at the TwentyByThirty space, and according to the press release, "The authoritative gothic font (of the book) alludes to something pious, while the mysterious nature of its levitation suggests an otherworldliness," which sounds like some heavy left-brained twaddle until you actually see the book hanging in space, and thin,k "That shit's putting over some serious supernatural vibes, just like the release said." - JC

What:
The Frowning Clouds with The Cuckoos, The Jonathans and Straylove

Where:
The Birmingham, 333 Smith St, Fitzroy

When:
Fri Jan 22, doors 8pm

How much:
$6

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Description:
Shit, how cool was pop music in the '60s? Guitars, drums, cool haircuts, the words 'yeah', 'baby' and 'come on' sprinkled liberally over everything in a steely cool, yet non-ironic way. Where did we go wrong? When did we decide that auto-tune was the way forward? The Frowning Clouds are unashamed living, breathing, psychedelic exponents of said '60s pop, hailing from the mean streets of G-Long. I have it on very good authority that these guys are the real deal and their live shows are second to none (well, none who can get around without a walking frame). Get in there and get screamy, Beatlemania. - MO

What:
C-Grade 'No' Party

Where:
Mercat Basement, 456 Queen St, Melbourne

When:
Sat Jan 23, from 10pm-7am

How much:
$5 before 11pm, $10 before midnight, $15 after that

View map

Description:
'Where are you going tonight?' 'I'm going to no party!' 'Oh, are you watching The Bill?' 'I said I'm going to NO PARTY.' 'I heard you buddy.' 'Do you want to come?' 'I can't, I'm watching Midsummer Murders.' C Grade No Party: DJs Otologic, Lewie Day, The Internet, Tom Pollard and Crysknife.  No theme. No, we mean NO theme. No, NO, you idiot. - Us.

What:
Camera Obscura with Slow Club (UK)

Where:
The Corner, 57 Swan St, Richmond

When:
Sat Jan 23, doors 8.30pm

How much:
SOLD OUT!

Win:
Thanks to Popfrenzy, we have a dbl pass to give away! To enter, email win@threethousand.com.au with the subject 'just fluoride won't do it'

View map

Description:
Perhaps they're putting indie-heaven juice in the water over in Glasgow. I wish they'd bottle it in a concentrate, energy drink style and get it over here pronto, ‘cos we could do with a few more soulful, beautiful, witty heartbreakers like Camera Obscura. Reminiscent at times of affiliates Belle And Sebastian with darker touches of 4AD label alumni Mazzy Star, CO's latest album My Maudlin Career has just about had its virtual grooves worn out around our office. Supported by similarly appealing UK duo Slow Club, one imagines this show will give fresh meanings to the words 'lush' and 'sigh'. - MO

What:
Psychonanny and the Babyshakers with The Once Overs and Fearless Vampire Killers plus Mikey Young and Mantooth on decks

Where:
The Penny Black, 420 Sydney Rd, Brunswick

When:
Sat Jan 23, Mikey Young and Mantooth DJ-ing 4-8pm, bands on from 9pm

How much:
Free!

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Description:
Psychonanny and the Babyshakers are playing Anto 'Mantooth' Skene's big weekly hoo-ha in the Penny Black beer garden on Saturday, so be sure to strap your junk to your inner thigh. Frankly, this gig is guaranteed to enlarge and rigidify your penis, so, unless you wanna walk around looking like a sexually aroused person, lash that mutinous bugger down. Mikey from Eddy Current Suppression Ring and Ooga Boogas will be on decks in the afternoon, and then, when the sun slips away like an old blob of unwanted tangerine gelato, The Once Overs, the Fearless Vampire Killers, and the aforementioned Babyshakers will stomp on the devils feet until he can't take it nomore. Be there. Saturday. - JC

What:
The House De Frost presents an intimate evening with Trevor Jackson, four hour set

Where:
The Toff, Lvl 2, 252 Swanston St, Melbourne

When:
Sat Jan 23, doors 10pm

How much:
$31.80 +BF from here or $40 on the door

Win:
Thanks to Andee Frost we have 2 dbls to give away! To enter, email win@threethousand.com.au with the subject 'No, it's Trevor Jackson. Trevor.''

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Description:
DJ SET OF THE WEEK! Hardly anyone has heard of Trevor Jackson, and he hasn't heard of you either. But he is the most prolific character ever to own a computer. He is a designer, DJ and producer who has remixed Run DMC, Chicks On Speed, The Gossip, Hell, Massive Attack and U.N.K.L.E. He founded the label Output Recordings, releasing LCD Soundsystem, The Rapture and Four Tet. As an artist he has exhibited at the Guggenheim and the Barbican. TREVOR IS ONTO IT. And he's playing at Andee Frost's party this Saturday. Flying Them In Right Under The Radar, that's Andee's middle name. - Us.

What:
Babylon screening and live show

Where:
ACMI Cinemas, Fed Square, Melbourne

When:
Screening Sun Jan 24, 3.30pm. Free live show 6-7.30pm in the ACMI Lounge.

How much:
$10/$13 from here or the ACMI Box Office

Win:
Thanks to ACMI we have 2 x dbl passes to give away! To enter, email win@threethousand.com.au with the subject 'DON'T TAKE DRUGS'

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Description:
Cult flick Babylon is to the '70s Rasta movement what Quadrophenia is to Mod. And, with its Purple Rain -style underdog-against-the-rich-kids narrative arc, it moves beyond the cultural niche of just another music film while looking incredibly cool. Fiery, violent and political, it is - as William Miller would say - incendiary, as well as instantly quotable. Maybe after watching it William would actually say it's ‘pure wickedness man!' Babylon screens with a docu-short Duke Vin and the Birth of Ska and followed by a free gig by Sista Itations. - SC

What:
Oz Rock Karaoke night with live band

Where:
The Grace Darling, 114 Smith St, Collingwood

When:
Tues Jan 26, karaoke starts 8pm! Sign up at the bar sometime this week with your song choice.

How much:
Free!

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Description:
Arguably one of the most important dates on the Aussie calendar is Australia Day, the day we remember what it is and what it means to be Australian. Lately, Australia day has meant clumsily smothering the R.P. McMurphy of collective guilt beneath a big, fluffy, Union Jack emblazoned pillow. But this Australia day will be different. This Australia day you'll read Jared Diamond's Guns, Germs, and Steel and attempt to exonerate yourself. It won't really work, so, instead, you'll leg-it down to the Grace Darling for Oz Rock Karaoke! What? What'd you just say? Did you just say "Big whoop"? Well, that's your loss, Mr. Naysayer-Nuts. Nice attitude. For your information, this Karaoke party won't involve a Karaoke-machine; it'll involve an actual live fucking backing band! Oh, now you wanna come. Make your song choice this week at the bar, and spread the word. - JC

What:
The Last Tuesday Society's Australia Day Fundraising Arvo

Where:
25a Eastment St, Northcote

When:
Tues Jan 26, 3-11pm

How much:
$10 it's a fundraiser!

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Description:
"We at the Last Tuesday Society love Australia Day. We love Australian flag capes, southern cross tattoos and racism in all its forms. We want to have a MASSIVE afternoon bonanza with sausage sizzle, bands, sunburn tattoos and tinnies for three reasons: 1. Because it's at a warehouse, so it will be like, cool; 2. We need cold hard cash for our Next Wave project because respective funding bodies can kiss our furry stubbie holders." See The Mirror Men, Miles O'Neil from the Suitcase Royale, Die Roten Punkte, The List Operators, The Caravan of Love and more. Then DJ Full House will play records while you jump up and down on the spot pulling on your friend's clothes. The whole thing will be presided over by Richard Higgins and his sassy parrot ‘Mitch'. - Us

What:
The Devil and Daniel Johnson screening with live set by Daniel Johnson!

Where:
Speakeasy Cinema at 1000 £ Bend, Lvl 1, 361 Lt Lonsdale St, Melbourne

When:
Tues Feb 2, 8pm

How much:
$25 +BF from here or $27 on the door

View map

Description:
Inspiration to awkward geek DIY singer-songwriters the world over such as Kurt Cobain and Jeff Tweedy, Daniel Johnston has been writing and recording his own brand of tortured, beautiful pop poetry since way before you laced up your first pair of Chuck Taylors. This 2005 doco is beloved of many, but has not received the exposure it deserves on the big screen, save a few festival screenings. The really huge news is that Daniel Johnston himself will be appearing at the screening, and depending on his health will perform a few songs. As unbelievable as this must sound, I checked and it is actually happening. Don't freakin' miss out! - MO

As we type this, we are missing the media preview for Ron Mueck's exhibition at NGV International! This is a huge bummer. They probably have orange juice down there, and Dr Gerard is going to be telling everyone about the amazing human-like sculptures.

It's alright for you though, because we've done a little research of our own. Get this: Ron Mueck might be a reclusive genius who spends his days crafting spookily life-like creatures out of putty, but back in the day word is he was a puppeteer on Labyrinth! He's probably hanging out with David Bowie right now, sipping spritzers and carefully avoiding the topic of man stockings.

Oh the media monkeys and the junket junkies invited him to their plastic pantomime, but Ron's wearing his funky funky eyepatch and drinking vodka lemon and lime. Anyway, the exhibition opens tomorrow, Friday January 22, and it was a bugger to install. Just look at this! What a day at the office. There's Wild Man, Two Women, a two-metre tall plucked chicken. There's Woman with sticks (coming to us straight from the Ukraine's 'man of the year' awards exhibit) and some other works no-one's ever seen before.

The NGV have given us three double passes and three deluxe exhibition catalogues to give away! To enter, just answer the following question:

This week's question
Ron Mueck's

a) sculptures are freaking me out
b) a reclusive genius
c) invited to the plastic pantomime
d) the cruel, yet handsome master of a wide kingdom of goblins

Send your answer, name and mailing address to win@threethousand.com.au. Winners will be notified by email. Subscriber only entry! Not a subscriber?  It's free you willies. Sign up here.

ThreeThousand is a weekly snapshot of Melbourne's subculture, fired by email into the loving arms of people who realise that the best things in life are often hard to find. It is compiled by an amorphous gaggle of writers, stylists, designers and photographers who all like huddling under that big umbrella we like to call creativity. Without editorial independence ThreeThousand has nothing. All editorial you read is featured because it's worth it - not because it's paid for.

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Books Editor:
Kirsten Law
kirsten@rightanglestudio.com.au

Design Monkeys:
tin&ed

Image and Web Monkey:
Taran Hubbert

STREET Pics Monkeys:
Tim Harvey
Tin Nguyen
Michael Pham
Ollie Ellmers
Mark Gambino
Zara Poole
Kristy Lee
Leah Robertson

Contributing Monkeys:
Nadia Saccardo
Lisa Lerkenfeldt
Rachel Surgeoner
Danielle Marsland
Dan Gladys
Jason Crombie
Natalie Nikitovic
Brad Dunn
Caroline Anderson
Matt Banham
Mateo Szlapek-Sewillo
Alan Caras
Peny Lane
Samantha Chater