The Thousands

Art is great! There are 26 reasons to buy it. But it is too oft assumed that people want to be near artists. Not true! Why do you think they invented auctions? So Jeffrey Dietch could gain control of your inheritance? No! Artists can be smelly. Some of them have tattoos. They all really like Slavoj Zizek for some reason, and, given the chance, they’ll sell their own arses for $1200.

Nella Themelios and Kim Brockett have come up with the perfect solution: art vending machines. Cutting out the middle man, they’ve collected hundreds of artworks by more than 60 low-lifes and loaded them into two old bubble-gum dispensers. Part of the LMFF cultural program, you’ll find these shortcuts to investment at Captains of Industry until Saturday, then at Alice Euphemia and The Thousands Shop after that.

What’s in the machines? I don’t know. Tiny finger covers by Andrea Eckersley? A a text-based meditation on the chance encounters between two individuals in this modern age of technology by Antuong Nguyen? A self-referencing celebration of the magnificence of Spandex, inspired by the one and only Mr David Lee Roth by Beck Jobson? No matter. If you use a hankie you won’t even need to touch the slot.