The Thousands

Justin Heazlewood is back with his clever, caustic, ha-ha words. You know, the Bedroom Philosopher: Northcote hipster tram glasses sideburns YouTube guy. These words don’t rhyme and don’t have chords, so they’ve been popped into a risographed, blue-fonted book (printed by A Small Press) with Leigh Rigozzi’s playful cartoons and the occasional band snap. This collection of tour diaries shows Justin at his most remorseless. Guess who he’s picking on this time? Justin Heazlewood.

Sure, there are the stabs at the towns, the venues, the food, the annoying fans and the annoying not-fans, but the main target here is the man who wrote the damn thing. Mind you, this is no ‘humblebrag’ musician confessional. Instead of sordid accounts of groupy sex and group groupy sex, Justin mopes over his ex-girlfriend, ‘pashes’ a girl who almost steals his glasses and botches a sexual advance at a house party. Instead of accounts of heroic drug consumption, near overdoses and chemical-induced flip-outs, Justin tries to moderate his intake of alcohol and cigarettes and, after snorting a little bit of what might have been speed, pees his bed. It’s just a ‘humble’.

There are prima donna outbursts, nebbish episodes and meditations on the never-ending search for lols as validation. But Justin doesn’t want your pity. Justin wants your laughs and your laughs he will get. He has mastered awkwardness, elevating personal unease to an art form through humour, honesty and solid writing. His apt observations and witty turns of phrase will leave you with nothing but admiration for the self-loathing, bed-wetting novelty songwriter.