Zine review, 'Galactic Regency Vampire Pirates'

· Monday September 19, 2011

According to master storyteller Kurt Vonnegut, there are essentially three basic plotlines that unite all popular literature. According to highly prolific romance novelist Leopoldina van Wowser-Ainwright, though, there’s really only one worth bothering with, and it’s the one she outlined in her handy guide How To Write a Mills and Boon-esque Bodice Ripper Novel.

Despite that manual having given away all of her trade secrets, van Wowser-Ainwright still knocks out a perfumed paperback like no other, and her new novella Galactic Regency Vampire Pirates proves it completely. Although you suspect it was dictated to a world-weary butler from a gaudy chaise longue – the descriptions of ravishment being blurted out between mouthfuls of petit four – the tale still twists in ways you would not expect from this most predictable of literary genres. I’ve not heard of a pulp romance yarn where the hero is attacked by zombie possums from outer space, for instance, or where the heroine becomes pregnant with a mutant.

And, if that’s sounds like too much intergalactic swashbuckling adventure for your liking, there are also exclusive extracts from Van Wowser-Ainwright’s forthcoming sagas To Wed Her and Bed Her, Brains and Back Strain, and the inter-species marine biology romance Love By Any Other Nom.