The Thousands

Along with the grey-headed flying fox, Melbourne’s skateboarders were long ago deemed a public nuisance to their natural habitat – the city streets. Every ledge is skate-stopped, every courtyard patrolled by security; you can’t even skate outside the State Library without risking a hefty fine.

So, as they did the bats, the council lured us away from their precious CBD towards the suburbs, with the promise of wondrous concrete facilities designed specifically for us. Sometimes, they get it right – try Clifton Hill, Newport and Knox – but all too often they’re messy, nonsensical affairs, swarming with shirtless BMXers, out in the middle of nowhere. Epping, I’m looking at you.

One thing Melbourne has been sorely lacking for a while is a good public mini ramp for ageing northside souls who can no longer pretend to enjoy jumping down stairs like the guys in the videos. Finally, here it is! This cement mini is smooth, mellow, wide and extremely addictive. It is built onto the existing Coburg Park, which features a ledge-based street area and a gnarly replica pool, complete with blue tiles.