Traditional Italian Shave
I just had to write this wearing my best suit, imagining I was Vincent Mancini from The Godfather. You cannot get a traditional cutthroat shave and still... read more...
Johnny Depp's goddamn boat
Yeah, he’s got a boat. Fucker’s got an island! And all because he’s ‘quirky’. Don’t get me started.Johnny Depp’s... read more...
Being an extra on 'The Pacific'
The whole thing. God-damnit. The whole thing was one big fucking waste. The speeding scene out the mini van window; the scrubby nothingness around the... read more...
Tunnel under Smith Street
Hold up. About to tell you something that’s gonna make you weak at the knees, a little bit emotional and seriously excited. There is a freaking underground... read more...
Werribee Open Range Zoo
I work hard six days a week, so when that rare day-off rolled around, I decided to spend it at Werribee Open Range Zoo with my ex-girlfriend and her mother.... read more...
Handball
OMG remember handball? How much fun was handball? I don’t mean the Eurotrash handball that looks like water polo minus the water, but the kind you... read more...
Golden Plains roundup: tops and bottoms
Tops:Wooden Shjips play Neil Young!Steven Malkmus can Brighten My Corners any day, nudge nudge etc. J Mascis has magic, mind-melting fingersOur gazebo... read more...
Portable presents: REFINERY29
Piera Gelardi and Philippe von Borries have excellent names. They are also very clever, and are the two key people behind one of New York’s most... read more...
Taxi Tips
So here’s the situation. You’re a cool young thing, you’ve been out on the town cruisin the strip with your own two feet, maybe you... read more...
The Icehouse
While proper bagels and decent percolated coffee may never reach our fine shores, the North American Antipodean Domination is well on its way, leaving... read more...
Home brewing
So ya wanna drink beer right, you also have no money, and you’re reaaaaaally lazy. WHAT TO DO!? Well have I got a tip for YOU!Get yourself a sciencey... read more...
Life Drawing Classes
So there I was, sitting on a junior school chair, staring at a nude woman with my hand working hurriedly away – woah there guys, I was at life drawing... read more...
Hot Licks Festival
After many teenage years of crippling boredom in Mount Gambier, the only thing that usually succeeds in getting me back there is the obligatory love of... read more...
Collingwood Boxing Gym
The only thing more violent than The Boondocks, is the sport of amateur boxing. In Collingwood, suitably opposite a police station, is my local fight gym.... read more...
Sunny Ridge Strawberry Farm
I’m an Australian living and working in New York.In January, New York is extraordinarily cold, so I spend most of my time indoors writing and reading... read more...
Community Gardening
When I arrived in Melbourne I put my name down for a garden plot at the Abbotsford Children’s Farm. Want to know how far I am down the list? Ten... read more...
How To Blow Smoke Rings
So you’re smoking. Good for you. You’re only really smoking because you’re nervous and you want to look cool. That’s okay. There’s... read more...
An Evening with David Sedaris
David Sedaris is a lot like getting drunk on dry apple cider. Which, I am at the moment. It’s refreshing, summery, and a lot of fun for about an... read more...
Sidetracked Entertainment Centre
So the other day I went with some pals to a place in Oakleigh called Sidetracked. It’s this big shed in the middle of nowhere with a crappy old sign... read more...
Middle Brighton Baths
The Middle Brighton Baths is one of the only remaining caged open water seabaths in Australia, harking back to the 19th century when swimming in open beaches... read more...
Adopting a dog
Ever since fleeing the family home all those years ago, I have felt something missing from my life. Spare cash? Certainly. Home cooked meals? That too.... read more...
Adventure Park Victoria
Back in the late ’90s I had a gig manning the “Tunnel of Terror” waterslide at “Adventure Park” in Wallington. Eight hours... read more...
Animal Collective afterparty
Now, if you haven’t had enough of the band that Pitchfork would choose over a week of hot dinners with David Bowie, here’s something to do... read more...
Victorian Marriage Registry Weddings
When I got married last Friday, two options were presented to me by my father. The first involved a Voodoo custom where a chicken would be laid at my feet... read more...