Noncense incense burners

· Thursday October 27, 2016

In excellent news for smokey-scent lovers everywhere Noncense has just launched these very attractive ceramic incense holders. In essence, they are just shiny slabs of delectable ceramic with a tiny, tiny hole in them, but they come in super cute shapes like pizza, egg and banana. No more will you have to use blu tack on a window sill or compromise your style for the ethereal wrought-iron swirls of New Age store burners. No. Now you can imbue your home with aromas AND retain your aesthetic love of food and emojis.

If you're struggling to choose which burner is the most appropriate for your home or as a gift, I decided to do a little incense research and match each one according to a particular scent's uses. Because I think they're cool and because I ~believe in magic~

Banana

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The spring winds are here. We've all been hitting the weekends pretty hard with our depletive combos of booze and drugs, making Monday harder than Garfield warned us. It's rough but did you know that a banana can help replenish your withering serotonin? Put your feet up in the early parts of the week and burn some mental clarity promoting lotus incense. Start imaging your brain cells rebuilding like a squishy tetris and kick back. Lotus scent also heightens your intelligence and bananas are good for that too. Just don't do a Peter Andre and eat too many, he was hospitalised after eating ten because he overdosed on potassium. True story.

Egg

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Eggs are really high in protein and omega-3 and they're also historically a vital part in clumsily asking someone to have sex with you. After you've slurred “Hey bb, how do you like you're eggs?” and got them back to your house, light a stick of cinnamon incense and really seal the deal. Now you've got them thinking of French Toast while sneakily casting a powerful aroma-based lust spell on them. Cinnamon incense is traditionally used as an aphrodisiac and promotes physical energy. This power emanating from a glossy ceramic egg? Irresistible.

Pizza

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Pizza has captured our generation's imagination more than most items. There's towels, jewellery, printed leggings, constant memes and references. It's the signpost of not giving a fuck. The tool of self-empowered singletons who eat big greasy slices in bed and think they're being Amy Schumer or an adorable Dan Harmon. You know, the smug schlub. But does the pizza-lover wanna get out a bit more? Maybe they should buy this scrumptious looking Noncense burner and light some inner-beauty nurturing jasmine incense. Jasmine intoxicates the senses into self confidence and makes you embrace friendship and kindness. Get outta bed, light your fake pepperoni and love the world around you.