The Thousands

Legs will be scrambling all over the place this week. They will be walking up Hay Street to see some precious goo before traipsing around Fremantle to catch all the cultural events. We will be showing them off in stylish bikinis and working them hard behind public ping pong tables. All legs will be run off their feet this week – make sure you leave time to stretch.

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Before he landed a job travelling the world playing music Kurt Vile drove a forklift at a brewery. There is still a bit of that forklift driver in Vile. You can hear it both in his songs and his phone manner. Loose, easy and free of bullshit. With a nod to classic rock, acoustic folk and a touch of psych, his music - like his conversation - is warm and familiar.

In a time of auto tunes and Nicki Minaj it's nice to hear an album with a few tics. The small cracks in his voice and the occasional mis-cued strum makes Kurt and his music all that more personable. Vile is a great songwriter but as a person he comes across as a regular guy. Yeah he's a new father but he's still the kind of guy who can pass out on a couch at a party with cupcake wrappers on his chest and people striking goofy poses next to him.

To say The Thousands are excited to be presenting Kurt Vile and the Violators on their debut Australian tour would be more than an understatement. On the eve of his arrival I had a chat with him about fatherhood, his music, Springsteen and J Mascis.

What are your expectations of Meredith?

I've heard about it from touring a bunch recently. There seems to be a lot of Australians in Berlin for some reason and they have all been telling me about it. I mention that I'm playing Meredith and they immediately get homesick (ha). But any festival that has Grinderman and Mudhoney is going to be cool. You know it's not just going to be some indie fest. read more

Graphic design luminaries from either side of the pond Luke Wood (NZ) and Stuart Geddes (Collingwood) are both aces at making shit look good with the computer. It makes sense that these guys (and many more like them) have become obsessed “reconnecting their heads with their hands” by building and riding vintage motorbikes. They’re all about hunting down parts, talking to old men in sheds, piecing it together, making it work.

Head Full of Snakes is like the bridge between their two worlds. It’s a carefully crafted deluxe fanzine of sorts, printed using the riso on pulpy, rough paper. It looks lovely. Within its 108 pages, HFoS delves into all kinds of interesting cul-de-sacs of motorcycle culture - like a sweet photo essay of salt flat racers by Tobias Titz, an interview with John Taylor-Leigh (secretary of New Zealand's Norton Owners Club), Jason Crombie's story about his Dad's long lost petrol head brothers, and a comic strip called 'Biker Wolves' that is as awesome as it sounds. There’s even a flexidisc insert, with a four-and-a-half-minute cover of Richard Thompson's '1952 Vincent Black Lightning', which is actually a recording of Paul Elliman riding a 1952 Vincent Black Lightning for four and a half minutes.

As awesome as it looks, it’s all about the stoke that these pages amplify. HFoS makes me excited, even if I still have no intention of ever riding a motorcycle. It is a vessel of enthusiasm, it makes me want to do something and that’s one of the best things that a thing can be.

If you have ever come across Alex Lekias in person, you will know what we mean when we say that she is the image of a life styled by a flat-out refusal to grow up. Seeing her in person is like coming across a Gothic Lolita who never learned of a life beyond the dress-up basket. But whilst her unique style is a developmental psychologist's wet dream, it’s also her creative practice’s best asset.

In keeping with her pre-occupation with pre-pubescence, Lekias follows up her sellout 2010 exhibition Lifelong Baby Teeth (at Sydney's Friends Of Leon Gallery), with a similarly psychedelic exploration of the archetypal teenager and those awkward rites of passage some call growing up. Luckily for us, her pubescent memories include spewing up rainbows instead of stomach bile and hyper-colourful goon bags churning out cute Koala bears rather than acrid ‘fresh dry-white’. If only we could all be so optimistic!

(Images courtesy of Linton & Kay Contemporary)

Telling me to stay away from bikers isn't the only piece of advice my ex-boyfriend gave me that I now ignore. Thankfully, the post-breakup, tear-drying period coincided with a move to a suburb where I can regale my penchant for sticking my nose in other subcultures' business. Hydroponica is one overgrown haven of previously forbidden verdant pleasure amongst the dog’s breakfast of lowlights and wonders on Guildford Road.

Using tubs, alfoil and bottled liquids to make things sprout seems kind of weird. But apparently - according to the owner - you can grow tomatoes big enough to conceal a Japanese soldier – he showed me the pictures. Kick-ass big plants. A basic system costs about the same as a cheap return ticket to Melbourne, but who'd want to go there?

You could order the stuff online, but then you'd miss out on the best thing going for this establishment: the owner, Steve, who has invented his own version of a Wide Gully Nutrient Film Technique System (it has something to do with oxygen and 'letting Mother Nature rule'), and can span a conversation from the inventor of clockwork radios to roses from the Sahara, via Richard Branson, in less time than it takes to roll a spliff.

Swimwear designers must be a special kind of genius. Not like, up there with Amy Poehler or Stephen Hawking obviously, but probably on a level with the street smarts of Joey Jeremiah. Because like the best dawgs on the street they work with what they’ve got: even if that is a piece of cloth roughly the size of the National Flag of Lilliput.

Sydney-based duo Carlos Aviles and Bonnie Coumbe of Seventh Wonderland would definitely be nearing the top of their kerbside class. Since Bonnie upcycled a 70s crushed black lycra number when she was 13 to the label’s 2008 debut at Miami Swim Fashion Week, the lines have been clean and strong, with whiffs of Art Deco, iconic London retailer Biba and Jerry Hall-itude. The fashun world seems to be taking note, too – the ’kinis and onesies are now sold at American Rag and Shopbop and have been featured in Harpers fricking Bazaar.

Spring Summer 11/12, 'Serafina', is full of cut-out details, buckles, ruching, gingham prints, contrasting ochre and pink tones, leopard print lace-ups (nice!), even some matching dresses and skirts so you can pretend you might actually one day attend a function that has a matching clothes-swimwear dress code.

Overall, a seriously smart way to cover up your funny bits.

There’s much to hate about Gus Van Sant’s cancer weepie for the Frankie set, but I’ve only got 200 words here. Better spend them unpicking why, even though I have form despising manipulatively twee films, I didn’t mind this one. Indeed, it seems arbitrary to adore the similarly pretentious teen lovers in Submarine but disdain the doomed affair of morbid Enoch (Henry ‘Son Of Dennis’ Hopper) and terminally ill Annabel (Mia Wasikowska). Might the differences just be down to aesthetics – Alex Turner or Sufjan Stevens? Bobs and duffel coats or pixie cuts and op-shop finery? Twilit Welsh beaches or autumnal Portland woods? Depressive, dorky dad Noah Taylor or wise ghost kamikaze pilot Ryo Kase?

Restless lacks the uneasy mood that pervades Van Sant’s Elephant and Paranoid Park, and has very little original to say. But I found its obviousness – Annabel’s saintly demise restores Enoch’s joie de vivre – strangely refreshing. Many alt-romances fall over themselves to impress audiences with their totes-adorbz characters and quotably allusive dialogue. But Restless casts its audience as detached, indulgent observers. Rather than catharsis, it offers a more modestly poignant treat: watching young characters believe they’re the first to feel time-worn emotions.

‘Married couples under strain’ has proved fertile ground for filmmakers like Woody Allen (Husbands & Wives) and Ingmar Bergman (Scenes From A Marriage), but it is also a worn subject matter; whose success as the basis of a film is dependent on there being a director with a fresh enough approach to it. Anne Sewitsky’s Happy, Happy offers a level-headed and amusing look at marriage, family and infidelity.

Sweet, happy-go-lucky Kaja (Agnes Kittelsen) is married to the dour Eirik (Joachim Rafaelsen); they live in snowy, rural Norway and have a young son, Theodor. They lease out the house next door to Elisabeth (Maibritt Saerens), Sigve (Henrik Rafaelsen), and their adopted African son, Noa. After some amicable couple dinners, Kaja starts naked romping in the snow with Sigve (she hasn’t got any from Eirik in a year – he’s trying to stick his tongue down Sigve’s throat. There is also a bizarre sideplot involving the two sons, who play out master-servant routines from a book about slavery, and a tuxedoed Greek chorus that, even more bizarrely, mark the film’s phrases by singing traditional American spirituals (in English).

Sewitsky’s film is like the inverse of John Curran’s 2004 film about two married couples We Don’t Live Here Anymore - both films offer a wry inspection of how shitty and boring long term relationships can be, but Happy, Happy doesn’t resort to angst and heavy-handed emotion to do so. The neat resolution sees ‘nice girl’ Kaja ‘finish last’ – but when she finally locates her balls in the final scene you truly feel ‘happy, happy’ for her.

A quick bit of art history for you. In the 19^th century there were these painter dudes called the Pre-Raphaelites who basically believed in two things: Firstly, that Raphael (the painter, not the ninja turtle) was a douchebag whose style should be avoided like the plague, and secondly that it was only through communion with the natural world that man could achieve his full moral, spiritual and intellectual potential. These are the reasons why their paintings tended to look a bit like this.

I’m not sure what Casa Bianchi’s stance on Raphael is but I’m pretty sure they would agree with the Pre-Raphaelites about the importance of natural world. When the sun is shining the walls of Casa Bianchi dissolve, allowing the lush greenery, mismatched garden furniture and soothing bubbling of the coy pond in this nursery cum cafe to come into their own. The coffee and edibles are all well-done but the real strength of this place is its ability to turn your quick caffeine fix into an Arcadian escape from the urban hustle bustle of everyday life.

We had no idea how massive a deal it was that Perth is hosting the ISAF World Sailing Championships until a friend who is enthusiastic about ocean sports told us that it’s basically like the Olympics of sailing and Perth outbid seven other countries to host it. Over 1,000 of the world’s best Popeyes are going to be in town for the two-week regatta – the port town is going to be pumping like it hasn’t since the 1987 America's Cup.

Even more exciting than the boat races will be seeing Freo turn into the ‘Worlds Village’ for the ‘Worlds Festival’ - an idea that pays tribute to the history-making ‘world fairs’ of 1930s America. The grassy Esplanade area will feature sailing stalls, food stalls, stages, cooking demos from the Greenhouse’s Matt Stone, Kulcha music programmes, helicopter flights. Model yachts will be on display at the Museum, with free yoga and zumba classes on the beach and basket weaving classes! The more magical boats will be in the theatre adaptation of local artist Shaun Tan’s The Arrival. The Moores Gallery, Japingka Gallery and Little Creatures will all embrace the art in sailing, along with the iconic Woolstores building – local artist have painted huge maritime signal flags and artworks on its façade.

Our ocean sport enthusiast friend is even hosting a screening of eighties flick Wind (featuring Dirty Dancing’s Jennifer Grey) at Bohemia Outdoor Cinema – he’s turning the proceeds over to Sailability WA Inc, an organisation that provides sailing opportunities for people with disabilities. Champions all round.

Whilst Occupy movements seemingly take over the world, Perth is being occupied in a much different way – by three guys and 700kg steel tables POPPing up all over town. The folks at POPP (Public Outdoor Ping Pong) have resurrected the good name of ping pong from the horribly unfunny depths of the 2007 film Balls of Fury and have made it cool again. Their latest table, painted by local artist Hurben, has landed in Globe Lane (just behind Iku Sushi) at 140William, joining similar tables in Freo. For a gold coin donation (proceeds go to the Salvo's Christmas Appeal), it is the perfect respite from the Christmas shop or for something a little more extreme.

No, Bring Your Own Beamer is not a car show exclusively for BMW owners. It’s a worldwide exhibition concept with the visual medium of projection at its core, founded by Dutch Brazilian ‘internet artist’ Rafaël Rozendaal (he creates websites, installations, drawings, and writing, spreading them over a bunch of domain names). BYOB is open for anyone to curate, anywhere they like (and they have - New York, Miami, Seoul, Guatamala, Amsterdam, Jerusalem, Venice). The first Perth BYOB happens this week at Galleria gallery – illustrators Cherrrish Marrington and Mow Skwoz are ‘beaming’, as is photographer Jackson Eaton, whose last exhibition featured projection. Benjamin Forster, who explores ideas of drawing using bio-technologies, is another highlight on the beamer bill. As is a Skype appearance (live from Europe) from Mr Rozendaal himself!

Christmas must be the most over-hyped and commercialised holiday in the history of... ever. No matter how much yuletide spirit you go into the holiday with, your boring family do inevitably ends up degenerating into boozy mudslinging. Come Boxing Day, a severe fiscal hangover kicks in. My antidote to the commercial holiday blues is to keep everyone in the family happy by actually getting them gifts they might like (a novel idea, I know) from the Bazaar art and design market. Locally made, unique homewares, jewellery and textiles tend to keep everyone in line. At least until Aunt Gabby gets into the cooking sherry, anyway.

Modern day Dilettanti David Egan and Reece York present the aptly titled Seria Ludo – or ‘serious matters in a playful vein’. In the serious-but-playful Galleria space, they tread the fine line between irony and sincerity in homage to Italian art, and style. Think Wikipedia-style history lessons on neo-classic painting, and read up on the Society of the Dilettanti – an 18th century British boys club who took an alcohol-fuelled art tour through Italy, and brought the masterpieces back to share with the lads.

Aside from someone resembling Marlon Brando in The Godfather, how many of you have actually wondered what ‘Cottonmouth’ means? Let’s face it, Don Corleone doesn’t exactly scream social justice but nor does this current era of economic downturn and political uncertainty. That’s why spoken word night Cottonmouth and Amnesty International are offering an outlet for all to speak their mind and have it heard - so you can ‘cotton’ on to the real issues and put your money where your ‘mouth’ is.

Rowland S. Howard was the kind of guy who could seduce Lydia Lunch, humble Nick Cave and make Wim Wenders gush like a 15 year-old schoolgirl. We are putting on a special preview screening of Autoluminescent: Rowland S. Howard if you're interested in finding out for yourself how he managed to achieve these not insignificant feats. To celebrate the man's life and work we've organised a pre-party with some free beers courtesy of Grolsch, some free pizzas courtesy of Siena's, some free great tunes courtesy of The Seventh Son and door prizes courtesy of Noise Pollution Records. Basically we're gonna party like it's Melbourne 1979.

Among science fiction blog nerds, Star Trek is often credited with the invention of the flip phone and the tablet/iPad. They predicted the future by matching their current technology with human desire, and then some very smart people raided the prop department and turned their ideas into a reality.

What we know is that before you can predict the future, you must understand the present. So, as The Thousands continues to think about how we can make our content more convenient and mobile, we want to understand what mobile means to you. And, that’s what our Mobile Survey is all about.

In the survey there are only 12 multiple-choice questions that are so quick to answer you might even go back in time. We are also dangling the proverbial carrot with an iPad 2 to give away to one lucky survey taker. The draw is random and we’ll announce the winner on Twitter and Facebook next Wednesday. It’s simple, all you need to do is click here.