The Thousands

Thursday December 3

Ai-ai-ai-ai-ai! What are those chairs doing up there?! They should be anchored on the ground, lined up nice round a dining table, not flying above our heads, as if this is some kind of movie where things are allowed to be wild and out of control!

A little order, PLEASE. Pull down one of those gosh-damned flying chairs already, and sit on it until it stays still. Gooood, good. Let's just take this time to think about how a nice grown up would act. Grown ups read essays, so we'll do that. And we won't jump at free lollies or slurp our soup, that kind of stuff is immature. It's important to be thrifty, so buying vintage is a must, and it's important to be savvy about design, so we only want the smartest products.

That's right, it can't be helped - these flying chairs will have to go. Oh, alright. Just one then. We'll keep just one.

SixThousand 017 - no sitting still

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What:
Ferris Bulwer Issue #1

Who:
Edited by Camryn Rothenbury

Where:
Harry Highpants, 259 William St, Northbridge, Planet Books, 636-646 Beaufort St, Mt Lawley or online at Meupe 

How much:
RRP $6.00

So, Schrödinger's Cat is inside this box with some poison and because the box is closed, the cat is simultaneously dead and alive. Slow down, professor! I hear you say.

In the little known variation to Schrödinger's paradox, the cat is dead, alive, and reading a copy of Ferris Bulwer. No, I'm not mispronouncing the literary adaptation of a popular 1980s teen movie. Rather, Ferris Bulwer is a thought-provoking magazine that features an editorial that explains this Schrödinger thing better than I could. As well as five excellent articles: Alexandra Glazov pays tribute to the fate of that kid you felt sorry for in high-school; Predrag Delibasich has a piece about listening to LPs as a child: trading up bad Serbian pop for the joys of Motörhead.

A collection of atmospheric photographs from John McGee is the centrepiece. So, why would a half-dead/half-alive cat be reading a magazine? Back off, man: I am not a scientist.

By Tristan Fidler

What:
Rifts

Who:
Oneohtrix Point Never

On:
No Fun Productions

Where:
No Fun Productions / OPN direct

Related links:
OPN website / YouTube channel

Those keen on synthesizer acts Free Choice Duo, Matthew Brown and Hochman and Hopkins will appreciate Brooklyn's Oneohtrix Point Never; one Daniel Lopatin, who similarly deals in ululating tone fields, but with added science fiction ice and eeriness. Lopatin moves DIY trend-interests in 70s space mysticism towards more 80s-tinged, isolate territories in which the overall feeling is less of cosmic peace than of alien unknowing - Zones Without People, as one album is named, cut with dark, Tokyo-skyline type sublimity.

Rifts collects OPN's three latest albums - Betrayed in the Octagon, Zones Without People and Russian Mind - over two CDs, the combined futurism of which is staggering. Lopatin's simple technique is to set scale snippets after themselves, turning ad infinitum as if inside a mirrored box, then to douse the clocking patterns in flaring sounds of solar dawn. The effect is immediate: inexplicable, almost precognitive. Dreamy types with a fondness for 80s sci-fi will queer for these two hours of transcendent pop.

By Mark Gomes

What:
December Show, David Turley, Clare Peake & Tanya Shultz

Where:
Aldas Artspace, Wolfe Lane, Perth

When:
Opens Sat Dec 5, 6pm
runs until Fri Jan 1

How much:
free

Contact:
aldasgalleryandprojectspace@gmail.com

Image:
Ping Pong, Clare Peake and Tanya Schultz

In the great tradition of all-star Christmas specials, Aldas Artspace's December Show is finishing the year off with a bang, but instead of Christmas traditions, they're rolling with the tradition of V.G.A.E (Very Good Art Exhibitions).

This super-group-show-very-good-art-exhibition features none other than the wonderful David Turley, who, if you've been paying any attention, is also the "d" of d&k. Continuing in our friendly game of double artist whammy, is the extremely busy Tanya Schultz, AKA "Pip" of Pip & Pop greatness. "d" and "Pip" are dropping their "k" and "Pop" this time around to make way for the very prolific Clare Peake, who is not just a half, but the whole spoonful behind Tête-à-Tête magazine, among other things.
An acute awareness of object-ness and attention to the tiny details is something all three artists share.

The Ping Pong window installation by Clare and Tanya is refreshingly playful and imaginative, and David's loft installation Sympathy and the Sea is resourceful and provocative. Catch this while you have the chance: no doubt they'll all be romancing a bunch of new projects and collaborations before you can say ‘This is a very good art exhibition'.

By Claire Krouzecky

What:
Oxford St Books

Where:
119 Oxford St, Leederville

When:
Mon-Fri, Sun, 10.30am-10.30pm, Sat 9.30am-10.30pm

Contact:
9443 9844

'Danielle is easily swayed by the prospect of free candy from strangers'. For many years, my mum would write this in the 'other' section in school excursion forms, right after 'mildy allergic to bees'. Despite being down with the whole ‘stranger danger' thing, l would have been a goner if the creepy man who sat in a car outside our school everyday ever thought to throw a Killer Python onto the tanbark.

On the cash register at Oxford St Books sits a bowl of free Minties. If it was a no-go to take free candy from a stranger in 1992, it's a total no-no-go to do it now. But Oxford St Books aren't strangers, right? The dudes behind the counter have been there for like, years! Even when they moved two doors down, and everything felt a little 'the same but different' inside, Oxford remained more friend than stranger. Why? Because they've got great contemporary fiction, non-fiction, some of the best design and photography tome selections around, they'll order you the most obscure title in a flash...but mainly because there's always a bowl of free Minties on the cash register.

Three things:
1) Any book shop that offers a free Mintie with your purchase, or offers you a free Mintie even if you don't buy shit, is probably worth looking into
2) Any book shop that offers a free Mintie AND a free bookmark (a nice brown card one, no frills) with your purchase, even if you don't buy shit, is probably worth looking into
3) Enough of this 'probably': Oxford St Books is the only bookstore in the 6000s you'll end up in at 10.29pm on a Monday night.  In moments like these, you need Minties.

By Danielle Marsland

What:
Where The Wild Things Are 

Where:
In cinemas from December 3

Watch Trailer:
Here

Well, the hipster event of the year is finally here. In turning Maurice Sendak's 338-word evocation of childhood rage into a 101-minute movie, have Spike Jonze and Dave Eggers done justice to the memories of Generation Coolsie? Well, yes and no.

Max Records is just brilliant as Max. He's sparky and articulate, but not in a creepily precocious, Haley Joel Osment way. He may be smart and resourceful, but you never forget he's just a little kid who cries, tantrums and gets scared. I felt the only false note was when Eggers put the line, "Woman, feed me!" in his mouth. The Wild Things' voice and body acting meshes impressively; they seem so real, and Jonze has used ambient light evocatively to make them look at home in their environment. The movie is beautifully shot.

But it really annoyed me that Eggers made Max's real-life worries dog him in his own imagination - and gave him even more problems to cope with. As king, Max becomes an HR manager mediating in the Wild Things' interpersonal dramas. In Sendak's book, Max leaves when he realises non-stop rumpusing gets boring; here, he leaves because he just can't hack the stress any more.

By Mel Campbell

What:
BYO Coffee Cup

Who:
hookturn industries

Where:
Lala Orange, 411 William St, Northbridge or online here

How much:
$10.95 or thereabouts

How many buyers would purchase expensive surgical enhancements to their bone covers if the result looked like someone slid massive Twisties under their skin? A few outsiders, sure. The Ignatius J. Reillys of makeovers. But the market would be limited. Most people want fake to look real, with benefits.

The same goes for another extension to your body - your coffee cup. Reusable coffee cups already established here look like the industrial design equivalents of a packed lunch. Who wants to start every morning looking like their mumis trailing them at a discreet distance, wet wipe at the ready?

Mercifully, the neon minds at hookturn have created a silicon clone of the humble coffee cup. Only standard colours are available, preventing aqua and lime blunders. And while you're steppin' out pretty with your lighter carbon footprint, notice the pleasing bouncy attribute of your new possession. Rebound it off the head of a stranger. Evade them by dashing around several corners, then pause and ponder the state of the world. Chaplin would be proud.

By Sean Wilson

What:
Arigataya Ramen

Where:
62 Roe St, Northbridge

When:
Mon-Sat 11.30am- 2.30pm, 5.30-9.30pm, Sun 11am-5pm

How much:
$5- $16

Contact:
9227 7901

Let's talk broths shall we? Pho hails from Vietnam. Poles slurp barszcz. Mum sips Bonox. Those interested in life improvement have chicken noodle soup for the soul. And Nippon folk eat ramen.

Who knew a bowl of liquid could be so damn wholesome? I didn't until I tasted the ramen from Arigataya. During my visit, I was transfixed. Never have I slurped a broth so potent or met waitresses so friendly. Case in point - as I was sitting at our table trying to scribble down the opening times with a disobedient pen, another pen was offered to me with ninja-like speed.

As I was slurping away, soft music and visions of homemade corrugated cardboard decorations launched me into a warm, soupy coma. The ramen itself was authentic and delicious. The pork belly slid straight down. The eggs were supple, the greenery was fresh and the broth was flavoursome.

Move over chicken noodles, Ramen is soup for the soul.

By Isabel Jane Gillett

What:
SwapoRamaRama clothing swap

When:
Sat Dec 5, 11am-4pm

Where:
City Farm, 184 Brown St, East Perth

How Much:
$10 and a bag of clothes to swap

Contact:
sorrperth.blogspot.com

Image:
Vintage tablecloth dress

The kind of people that constantly say ‘one man's trash is another man's treasure', are obviously not the same kind of people that religiously spend four or five hours on a boiling hot Saturday driving around the suburbs scoping roadside collections, returning without so much as a splintery cane sun chair. Sound jaded much? That's because we are. These days, just the thought of a newly gentrified Salvos shop is enough to send us straight to the treasure. Recycling clothes seems to be a dying ritual, to be left behind with your granny, and the kinds of people that say things like ‘one man's trash is another man's treasure'.

SwapoRamaRama Perth are here to show that trash doesn't have to be a dirty word, taking the recycling renaissance where it's needed by hosting a clothing swap and DIY dressmaking fair. You bring your old clothes, they help you make them into better ones. For ten bucks (that's off to charity), do Grandma proud - spend this Saturday afternoon sewing and socializing. You could even whip yourself up a sun dress to match that splintery cane sun chair. That's right, the shitty one you wish you'd picked up on a kurb for free.

By Emma Breheny

What:
Pharoahe Monch (+ Naik vs Kit Pop, Charlie Bucket, Mason)

Where:
Villa Nightclub, 187 Stirling St, Perth

When:
Fri Dec 4, 10pm

How much:
$45 + b/f from Moshtix

Back in 92, I trolled the streets of Queens, a blonde-haired, green-eyed 12 year old, checking every corner for a two-bit hustler with the Organized Konfusion digital cassette. 10 years on I'm no closer to returning to Queens (or owning that cassette), but no sweat! 'Cause the man regarded as one of the world's finest wordsmiths, Pharoahe Monch, is buying himself a return from NY to PER. He's bringing his live band, too. Do yourself a flavour and check your favourite rapper's rapper! He's gonna take reeeeal good care of you. - JM.

What:
Winfred & Bance Market Day And Yard Sale

Where:
850 Beaufort St, Inglewood

When:
Sat Dec 5, 10.30am

How much:
cheap!

A few moons ago a pal and I decided to stage an incredibly amateur mini fashion shoot, in the aim of using the photos to try and look professional in selling our much-loved-but-now-way-too-tight clothes on ebay. The photo part was easy, but when we realised we had to measure everything up and write descriptions, it was a case of ‘stuff that'. Vintage gods Winfred & Bance transform their backyard and part of their sidewalk into a giant vintage market this Saturday - pal and I have re-opened our ‘drobes and totes bagsed ourselves a stall. Come and buy all our awesome tight stuff. And bargain with us for the amateur modelling shot collection. - DM.

What:
The Ghost of 29 Megacycles, Love Via Paper Planes Album Launch (+ Anonymeye, Mystic Eyes, DJ Adam Trainer)

Where:
The Velvet Lounge, 639 Beaufort St, Mt. Lawley

When:
Sun Dec 6, 6pm-10pm

How much:
$5 entry at the door

When I first saw The Ghost of 29 Megacycles play, one of them was wearing an animal mask, some weird Alejandro Jodoworsky movie was projected behind them, and their brooding ambient noise was completely absorbing. All I could compare it to was that bit in The Shining where Shelly Duvall witnesses the ghost of a man in a bear suit going down on an upper-class toff in a tuxedo. I like to imagine The Ghost of 29 Megacycles as what would have happened if those two ghosts formed a noise band with Shelly Duvall. But, y'know, without the blow-job. Please experience them launch their album Love Via Paper Planes and judge whether my Kubrick horror flick comparison is entirely appropriate or completely ridiculous. - TF.

Imagine if every day were a bubble. If your day was straight out crap, getting rid of it once and for all would be as easy as popping, stamping and crushing it into oblivion. It's less easy to do this in real life - you can't just hope that the people who are giving you a hard time, and making your day crap, will just explode (well, unless you're an extra in a Cronenberg film).

This isn't the movies, this is just really cool real life, where awesome designers like the folks at Bubble Calendar have worked out a way for us to explode 365 days of the year, one bubble at a time. It's been called the "cleverest calender ever", but smarts aside, this stuff is damn fun.

Go for broke! Take out October 3, that day you got two parking tickets in one hour! Now November 28, when you had that massive fight with your boss, POP!

The cutest store in Subi, Mr Sparrow (don't you just wanna squeeze it's rosy cheeks?) have been doing exactly that lately with their Bubble Calendar stock. They were worried they were going to pop them all before they could sell em, so they're kindly offering us a Bubble Calendar (valued at $39.95, with a bubble for every day of the year, plus a few bonus pops) to giveaway. To enter, just answer the following question.

This week's question:
How many days are there in a leap year?

a) whose counting? I'm not counting! Somebody better be counting, the whole metric calendar system is relying on it!

b) in non-leap year years, am I possibly missing the most important day of my life?

c) sure, I've played leap frog, everybody has

d) like sands through the hourglass, so are the days of our lives

Send your answer, name and mailing address to win@sixthousand.com.au. Winners will be notified by email. Subscriber only entry! Not a subscriber? It's free you frankenfurters. Sign up here.

SixThousand is a weekly snapshot of Perth's subculture, fired by email into the loving arms of people who realise that the best things in life are often hard to find. It is compiled by an amorphous gaggle of writers, stylists, designers and photographers who all like huddling under that big umbrella we call creativity. Without editorial independence SixThousand has nothing. All editorial you read is featured because it's worth it - not because it's paid for.

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