The Thousands

Thursday March 4

You swear you've only had ONE drink tonight, your friends point to the glasses behind your back and say that it's closer to THREE. What's better to order, 1/2 or a whole roast duck? It's TWENTY for a martini and a hotdog, there's TWENTY NINE Megacycles jamming in the corner, Morrisey's had TEN Top Ten hits and RM's got your TWO feet looked after.

Six months ago we launched the first issue of SixThousand and sent it to SEVEN HUNDRED peeps. Today we're celebrating THIRTY issues (with a brand new look!) and are going out to TWO THOUSAND ONE HUNDRED AND TWENTY SEVEN people. But who's counting?

SixThousand 030 - glasses behind asses

On the site right now (It's updated every day!):
WATCH: Grace
READ: Conor O'Brien Box Set
GOODS: Karla Spetic
READ: Weekly zine review #5: Word Attack
WATCH: The Men Who Stare At Goats
READ: Will Happiness Find Me?
GOODS: Alpha 60 x Aus Ballet collab

We twit on Twitter
We fan about on Facebook
And we RSS right here!

Cover image by Gabriel Green. Email your cover shot to danielle@rightanglestudio.com.au

What:
Mozipedia: The Encyclopaedia of Morrissey and the Smiths

Who:
Simon Goddard

Where:
Planet Books, good book stores or online here

How much:
Around AUD $69.95

I used to despise Morrissey. I don't know why but he really got under my skin. Perhaps his chin, I don't know, but I couldn't stand the sight of him. Of course, the more I ignored him the closer he got; I was wasting my time. Now I'm one his biggest gayest fans. I even know people who've touched him! And I've touched them, so, ipso facto...

I'll wager Simon Goddard, author of Mozipedia: The Encyclopaedia of Morrissey and the Smiths, has touched Morrissey a few times. You don't churn out a book that comprehensive without at least a handshake from the object of your obsession. At first glance, the Mozipedia looks like it mightsuck: the cover features a creepy faceless Mozz, it's called ‘the Mozipedia', etc, but it's surprisingly well written and rigorously thorough. There's stuff in there that would blow the mind of even the most devout, dead serious, pompadour-sporting, 'Still Ill' tattoo-having Smiths fan; weird stuff like, did you know Johnny Marr is allergic to bananas? Neither did I! But apparently he is. Actually I just made that up, but that's the kind of microscopic detail that characterizes the Mozipedia.

By Jason Crombie

What:
The Magician's Private Library

Who:
Holly Miranda

On:
XL Recordings / Remote Control / Inertia

Myspace:
www.myspace.com/hollymiranda

Words like magical, enchanting, and playful get used a lot these days. Unfortunately, they're often meant to endear you to bands whose work has more twinkling and twee affectation than real emotion.

These words could describe Holly Miranda's debut - yet DON'T be frightened by this (or the album's title or artwork...). This isn't fashionably coy, child-like naivety. Here, magic can be dark, enchantment can be overpowering, and play often ends in tears.  

Production by Dave Sitek (TV On The Radio) fleshes out Miranda's powerful songs in lush, bombastic, cinema style, a suitable accompaniment to her strong, sultry voice. It's a nice surprise to see her songs are equally strong (and nearly totally different) performed acoustic on Yours Truly.

This is an album rich with varied emotions, some that grab you immediately ('Waves'), and others that grow on you over time ('Slow Burn Treason'). And Miranda's unmistakable talent makes it all look like child's play.

By Wilfred Brandt

What:
Year 12 Perspectives

Where:
Art Gallery Of WA, Perth Cultural Centre, Northbridge

When:
10am-5pm daily
Runs until May 31

How much:
Free

Image:
Happy Birthday, Mrs Wilson!, Shivali Patel (St Mary's)

In year Nine, I went out with Sheridan. Sure, she was knock-kneed and had an overbite, but for those five days we dated, my life approached perfect. Then Sheridan dumped me, prompting ten long days of skulking about the house and swearing I would never, ever love again. Yep it's true, nobody does angst quite like teenagers. Had I been of an artistic bent I would have definitely channelled my vast emotional turmoil into Perspectives.

A close look at this year's collection sees art teachers' favoured themes ("the media makes me feel bad about my body"/"why don't we, like, do something about starving kids in Africa?") emerge. Fortunately these pieces are the exception, not the rule. For every piece done in the style of "bad adolescent impressionism" there is another cleverly representing the concept of generation loss.

The suffering on display at Perspectives made me feel that my own Traumatic Life Event (TLE) wasn't that bad. Maybe I should look up Sheridan, see if she fancies seeing the exhibition with me. 

By Timothy Fawcett

What:
Mainly Books

Where:
U1/209 Bulwer Street, Perth

When:
Daily 10am-5pm

Contact:
9328 6410 or
mainlybooks@bigpond.com.au

Last week I walked past Mainly Books. You heard me right MAINLY BOOKS! You know - that second hand bookstore run by the cutest old couple (Josephine and Dennis) you ever saw. The one that closed down, and everything went for 50 cents apiece! Turns out the new premises are just three doors down from the original cottage.

Dennis was at the register, and I asked how long they'd been closed for. He explained that they'd had to close because Jo had suffered a bad stroke. Unfortunately Jo's health deteriorated further and she died. The unsold books had all been given away to charity, so when Dennis got back on his feet he had to start from scratch. He's been combing through bulk book sales (including Kim Beazley's pre-ambassadorship clearance) for months, amassing enough stock in order to re-open.

Dennis says Jo's still watching over his shoulder. I think he's spot on because it's still the same old Mainly Books...mainly.

By Jimmy Jack

What:
The Men Who Stare At Goats

Where:
In cinemas from March 4

Watch the trailer:
Here

Win:
Thanks to Luna Palace, we got 5 dbls! Email win@sixthousand.com.au with subject ‘The sparkly eyes technique will be with you, always'

This shaggy comedy is loosely based on an incredible true story: the US Army's secret elite squad of Jedi-like psychic warriors. It's pretty much an excuse for Oscar-nominated actors to clown about like doofuses. Actually, I've always preferred George Clooney's wild-eyed slapstick (Burn After Reading, O Brother Where Art Thou?) to his suave roles. And as 'New Earth Army' star operative Lyn Cassady, he strikes a nice balance between wackiness and a touching innocence.

The film shines in some very funny flashback sequences explaining the unit's history. The Dude abides in Jeff Bridges's genial Bill Django, the unit's hippie leader, while Kevin Spacey is unctuous as Larry Hooper, the psychic who crossed over to the ‘dark side'. There's interpretive dance, LSD experiments, "sparkly eyes technique" and, yes, Boston's 'More Than A Feeling'.

However, the overarching narrative following Ewan ‘Obi-Wan Kenobi' McGregor's journalist, Bob Wilton, was the film's weakest link. He's seemingly only in the film to be a straight man for Lyn and to enable intertextual Star Wars jokes. His journey from skeptic to believer is implausibly swift, and the film's final scene is risibly lame.

By Mel Campbell

What:
R.M. Williams Boots

Where:
Saddlers, Specialty Shoe Stores and R.M. Williams online

How much:
$200-$500

Reginald Murray Williams would surely be chuffed to see his bespoke riding boots taking to the streets. In our guest edited issue, Fenella Peacock (Ant!pod!um) introduced us to that special combination of ruggedness and femininity that can be achieved with frilly skirts and blundies. Well people took stock of Ant!pod!um, and stockman boots are stomping through trendy laneways. While Fenella advised the Blundstone as boot of choice, when you need a look that is a bit more toff than tradie, RMs are the go.

RM Williams boots have been made in Australia ever since Reg took up the trade in the 1930s. Coming in either rubber or ultra toff leather soles, all RM uppers are stitched from a single piece of leather. That means fewer seams - so less chance of catching on stirrups for horsey folk, and just more comfort for everyone else.

Clearly, they are hip for casual wear, but for boys in suits, the jury is still out and the affirmative camp is in no way assisted by K Rudd's fondness for the footwear.

By NvH

What:
Good Fortune Roast Duck House

Where:
344 William St, Northbridge

When:
Daily 10am-10pm (closed Tue)

How much:
$18.50 per half duck (or $26 whole duck T/A)

Contact:
9228 3293

Is it just me or are there less ducks in Hyde Park this year? I asked the Noongar Patrol and they said ‘Mos def.' Contrary to Fly Away Home, our fine feathered (well for now) friends haven't flown South for the winter. Pfft! No, they're hanging in the window of the Good Fortune Roast Duck House.

Now I generally shy away from restaurants with dead animals on display (same goes for you fish tanks!), Good Fortune is the exception to this rule however. These fowl ain't just hanging around bat-style gathering dust or E Coli. As soon as Donald and nephews are strung-up, an accomplished Wudang swordsman de-bones each one in 6 seconds flat.

So wash down your Sang Choy Bow with some Chinese tea, before taking advantage of the $1/can soft drink special. Then the tastiest, juiciest duck to ever fuck with your T-buds will appear. Further marinate with plum sauce and you've achieved ambrosia. Quack.

By Jimmy Jack

What:
Letter Writing Club

Where:
Pigeonhole Cabin, 16 Bon March Arcade, 30 Barrack Street, Perth

When:
Fri Mar 5, 6.30pm-8.30pm

How much:
Gold coin donation

Contact:
perthzinecollective@gmail.com

I once received an anonymous letter containing a cut out photo of John Goodman pulling faces. I can only assume it was one friend in particular who a) knew my fondness for the actor and his work (Roseanne, Coen Brothers movies, etc) and b) liked to mail items to friends when they were bored at work. I was happy though. Receiving a personally addressed letter in the post is a treasured rarity, the province of English gentry in costume melodramas.

Call them old fashioned, but The Perth Zine Collective hold a Letter Writing Club once a month, giving us the chance to halt the text messaging and the e-mailing, and go all Keats and Byron with only pen and paper. Our suggestions include writing a postcard to a friend that lives one suburb away ("Innaloo - Wish You Were Here!") or some band fan mail ("Dear Journey... Thank you for writing 'Don't Stop Believing'! Yours, TF"). Anybody would be thrilled to see a letter amongst all the bills and brochure junk. Plus, by writing letters, you increase your chances of getting one back (like Pay It Forward, but with postage stamps). And now leave me be, please, as I must mail a letter to John Goodman demanding a sequel to King Ralph, posthaste!

By Tristan Fidler

What:
The Gaslamp Killer

Where:
Deville's Pad, 1/3 Aberdeen St, Northbridge

When:
Thur Mar 5, 8pm

How much:
Sold out, limited door sales from 8pm

It's been two years since LA based DJ/Producer The Gaslamp Killer destroyed the Devilles Pad. The psychopathic beat maniac returns to a (sold out) pad this Friday. GLK doesn't give a fuck about conforming, dropping everything from psychedelic Middle-Eastern and rare Asian grooves to bass-heavy hip hop and ear-piercing flicker breaks. Controlling it all from his turntables and a microphone. Plus Cardboard City psych-hop futurists SquidInk and DJs Nic Elliott and Bilsby. It's time for night education. Loud and nasty. - JM.

What:
Dirty Dancing OST performed by The Ghost of 29 Megacycles

Where:
The Moon Cafe, 2/323 William Street, Perth

When:
Sun Mar 7, 8pm

How much:
Free

If Patrick Swayze (RIP) was actually a ghost, he would definitely be using his music to spook people. You'd hear the faint echo of ‘She's Like The Wind' and then BOO! - ghost Swayze. In lieu of this, the Ghost of 29 Megacycles will be covering the Dirty Dancing original soundtrack, possibly turning ‘Hungry Eyes' into slowcore or offering up ‘The Time of my Life' as drone, showing everyone that Nobody Puts Post-Rock In The Corner. - TF.

What:
Chicago-style Hotdog and Martini

Where:
399 Bar, 399 William St, Northbridge

When:
Tuesdays

How much:
$20

My eighteen-month stint as a vegetarian was obliterated in ‘06 by the consumption of a 5-inch hotdog at Yankee Stadium. My rationale being that it was a long held ambition based on 20 years of American TV. If I were still 'anti-meat' today, 399 would be forcing a second transgression. On Tuesdays they're serving up Chicago-style hotdogs with a tomato and shallot mix, hot chillis and American mustard. This coupled a Plymouth gin Martini (however you take it) for twenty bucks. Play ball! - JJ.

Ever play that game as a kid where you'd write a few lines of a story, fold over it and pass it onto your pal to continue? You'd keep folding over and passing ‘til the page ended. Someone'd read it out and you'd all be in hysterics, amazed at your own collective spontaneous craftsmanship.

Whilst perhaps a more mature version of such creative childhood pranks, spoken word evening Cottonmouth (up until recently held once a month at a small, dimly lit wine bar tacked onto the Rosemount) is similarly satisfying. Somebody reads their sentences aloud and you gather around to cheer them on.

Cottonmouth's released a years' worth of wine bar ramblings (and selections from their zines) in The Cottonmouth Anthology. Featuring the words of Australia's freshest linguistic luminaries (Byron Bard, Simon Cox, Amber Fresh, Matt Giles, Tristan Fidler and loads more), you can grab your very own copy right here for $20 (and free postage from now until Cottonmouth change their minds!). Thanks to the lovely lumberjacks at Cottonmouth we got a copy of The Cottonmouth Anthology up for grabs! Just answer this way easy question.

This week's question:
Who is the boss of Cottonmouth?

a) Scott-Patrick Mitchell

b) Patrick Pittman

c) Thomas Keneally

d) Been by the Cottonmouth office lately? It's total anarchy!

Send your answer to win@sixthousand.com.au. Winners will be notified by email. Subscriber only entry! Not a subscriber? It's free you willies! Sign up here.