The Thousands

There is a lot of word play going on this week. This artist makes works of art, they are also works of music. He calls it See Sounds.  This magazine is satirical, but the makers call it FUN!  This record label showcase sounds like the Future Past. This guy’s wearing a dog and a backpack, the dog kind of looks like a wolf. We call it ‘Woof Pack’.

Photos by Sergey Kostromin. Send us your covers!

As a friendless loner in primary school my parents naturally sent me to summer camp. There, rainbow-coloured long johns and hand-painted Doc Martens were the norm, while said fashion-offending camp leaders organised team-building exercises and encouraged group hugs. Even here, at Pathetic Social Outcasts Anonymous, I didn’t have a friend. Instead I opted to hang with the PhD student volunteer, ‘Smiley Pete’, who gave me my first and only friendship bracelet. Needless to say, I didn’t give him my phone number when he asked. Hearing the words ‘summer’ and ‘camp’ chills me to my core even now.

It’s a shame, because London anti-folk romantics Jeremy Warmsley and Elizabeth Sankey look as cute as pie as the Summer Camp duo, while sounding even more delightful on their party pop album debut Welcome to Condale. In bringing the VHS vibe back to slumber parties everywhere, it’s enough to make you nostalgic for the hammer pants and love shacks of your childhood, minus the perve-y older dude, obviously.

If you thought the guys from Vice were controversial, you haven’t met the merry writers behind FUN magazine. As the lesser-known obscenity-case-waiting-to-happen, from the rabid gutters of the one rat-per-metre British capital London, FUN has contributed not one but six infuriating issues of caustic social satire.

Taking the seemingly innocent theme of ‘Sleep’ to new levels of poor taste, this one offers an interview with cross-dressing builder Allan on his penchant for a vacuum bedding sex fetish, an exposé on dreams and why you shouldn’t share them and some delightful catch phrases like, ‘Necrophilia: It puts the FUN in funeral'.  You can also play pick the dead person and win £5 and a poster, learn the difference between an incubus, a succubus and their demonic offspring the Cambion or treat yourself to a comic strip by notorious underground cartoonist Mike Diana. Not recommended for the sensitive, the squirmish, or the sane.

Ben Barretto is all over it. He’s all over art honours, all over fancy French art residencies, all over the stage at Sugar Mountain Festival with Sun Araw. He’s all over Perth, too – we wrote about his show Wail Songs at the Museum of Natural Mystery in September and just over a month later here we are again, psyched for another Baretto home-run at OK Gallery.

We nearly lost Perth-born Barretto to Sydney, mind you – he spent a bit of time there working in the art department of a schmick fashion label, and growing a long beard. Luckily for us he came home last year, celebrating his return with Fan Band (a kick-ass show where he hooked up guitars and an electric piano to the 180-degree circumference of several fans), before helping Pond out with the cover of their 7”. He also shaved off his beard.

The most readily recognisable aspect of Barretto’s practice to date, the ‘assisted’ painting performative works, continue to expand into new territory - in Wail Songs, Barretto’s signature apparatus were used to compose sound, not paint, works. As the title would suggest, See Sounds will sit somewhere between - and beyond - painting and performance.

Small scale Aussie jewellery labels and post-hardcore American music don’t generally have that much in common, but I’ve got a theory that Adriana Giuffrida was listening to a lot of Circle Takes The Square when she conceived the idea for her aptly titled label Poms. Get it? Geometry, circles, mathrock? Anyway, that’s my theory and I’m sticking to it.

Further (and slightly more professional) research reveals that her rings are actually inspired by not only that favoured shape but a wider concept of round objects such as the snowball and it’s comprising of thousands, maybe millions of unique snowflakes and the sum masking the complexity of its parts. Using this, and other spheres-in-the-wild (e.g the Pompon flower) as her inspiration, Sydney-based Giuffrida set out to create her own range of individual rings and just like those snowflakes, no two are the same.

The results, which feature wool, silk and bamboo pom-poms are subtle and most definitely an ode to mother nature. In fact, I had to double check to make sure it wasn’t a dried flower the first time I clapped eyes on ‘em! As well as that, the rings feature a selection Greek metal beads and other natty embellishments like citrine crystal chips and coral stone. Not since the awe-inspiring, showbag staple mood ring has a piece of jewellery held this much intrigue.

Moneyball has all the sports-movie ingredients: an underdog team; a manager haunted by past failures; talented but overlooked players; an amazing true-story comeback. Yet despite all this, Moneyball is not conventionally triumphalist. It’s a rather melancholy clash between human convictions and cold computer analysis.

Yes, Oakland Athletics general manager Billy Beane (Brad Pitt) and his economics-grad assistant, Peter Brand (Jonah Hill as the real-life Paul DePodesta, who objected to being portrayed as a nerd and requested his name not be used) found success with an unlikely 2002 team drafted using in-game statistics. But what have they really ushered in? Richer teams using the Athletics’ methods against them? Even more ruthless ways to trade players and managers as commodities?

Aaron Sorkin and Steven Zaillian’s deft screenplay eschews game-day spectacle to emphasise baseball’s human interactions. Torrents of unspoken meaning roar beneath Beane’s amiable patter with players, rival managers and colleagues (including a sullen, under-used Philip Seymour Hoffman as the A’s field manager). Pitt’s subtle, internally focused performance suggests some people’s actions can’t ever really be quantified. Meanwhile, Hill brings his usual diffident sweetness to Brand’s own discovery that his numbers-driven world is more idealistic than the baseball industry’s zero-sum game.

There are a few things you should know about Lawrence Leung. Hold up - you may already know what I'm going to say. In real life he honestly does like Rubik's cubes, he knows a lot of card tricks and his mum is just as adorable as in her Choose Your Own Adventure cameos. Yes, he’s a purveyor of choice stories and jokes just like his website says, but it turns out he is also a purveyor of delicious recipes.

Fresh from the UK, Lawrence is already heading out on a national tour. This is what his mum will be cooking for his farewell meal - Cantonese Wontons (aka little pouches of goodness).

Ingredients:
- 1 packet wonton wrappers (30 pieces)
- 200g pork mince
- 1 spring onion
- 1/2 cup shitake mushrooms
- 1 small bulb of ginger
- 2 eggs read more

If William Street is the fashionable, popular kid in class (you know - the one with the light-up sneakers and the best texta collection), then Beaufort Street is the dignified quiet achiever. Or, to go for a different metaphor, it is the border collie at the dog beach: poised but good-natured, fun-loving and ultra-capable. Playing host to pivotal local culture establishments (RTR, Planet, the Scotto) Beaufort does its thing without the fanfare. Local music website and touring heroes, Life Is Noise, honoured Beaufort Street for the first time last year with a mighty bang-up party. Now the sequel is here - Die Hard style - and frankly, we're stoked as a goat.

For the ears, treasures are teeming. Scattered across the stages will be garage-punk analgesics The Painkillers, guttural blues-rockers The Growl and atmospheric indie-disco wunderkinds Scenic. Much-loved experimental popstress Rabbit Island, crafty post-rock devils The Silent World, gypsy-surf-party-people SmRts and impossible-to-ignore Hayley Beth will likewise keep our cochleas catered to. That's not all though (shut up! we know!) - killer decksmiths like RTR's Adam Trainer and Jo Lettenmaier, the {MOVE} DJs and supreme turntablist Zeke will keep us dancing in the street (literally, the council is closing off the street).

Eyes-wise, look out for doorway character cutouts courtesy of Brendan Niness, knitted street art by Beaks on Beaufort, Victor Hugo's 365-day Holga photo project, and Before I Die's blackboard bucket-list installation. There's a huge vintage market and the best of the street's threads will be on display at the STM Fashion Stage.

There's even a goddamn Dog Show, where all pooches great and small can get in on the action! After all, every dog has its day - and this Saturday is fully dedicated to Beaufort Street, one of the hardest-working hounds in town.

You know things are not quite right when you can literally watch someone age right before your very eyes in an evening. Only the other night, I watched every Brittany Murphy interview on Youtube and saw her age change from old, to young, to old, to young, to old, to younger, to older, to trashed, to young, to dead in just an hour. Future Past Presents knows what they’re talking about when they named themselves after the disorienting effects of web resources. Let’s hope at least their bands can deal with continuity.

Kick on down to Grey Gallery for Perth's first exhibition of sneakers and skate decks, brought to you by the kids from the iHart project. This is an entirely non-for-profit event, with all works donated by local and international artists, and funds going to the Heart Foundation. There are original hand-painted Converse sneakers, hand-painted and vinyl-covered skateboard decks, and limited edition prints for sale. The event is sure to be bursting with radness, so lace up, skate down, and support a great cause.

If you’ve wandered past Cabin Fever recently, you’re probably wondering what is up with the series of empty frames on the wall. What could they mean? Could they perhaps stand as a criticism of the emptiness and vacuous nature of modern society? Minimalism gone mad? Well, no. They are going to be filled - with the works of 15 very talented local artists, no less. To celebrate Cabin Fever is throwing a party. With Donnybrook cider, sweet tunes, and toasted sandwiches all provided, redecorating has never been more enjoyable.

Hang on a minute. Has anyone ever thought about how weird, gross and kind of perverted the Joy Stick is? It’s clearly a phallus that some sick bastard convinced kids to grab hold of with the promise of endless pixelated treats. At least nowadays the only people playing with joy sticks are well over sixteen, still remember the Commodore 64 and are playing for the purposes of healthy competition. In a pub, which makes them legal, and the whole thing a lot more legit.

Whenever I have a falling out with my lover, I head to Ezra Pound, where the bartender is more than happy for me to lay it on him, while he fixes me a whisky. This kind of good old-fashioned awesomeness is the norm from TJ, Jan and the team at EP; always modest about effectively being the pioneers of Perth’s small bar revival. The Pound celebrate two years with a nice Sunday bar-b, some bad-arse beats and booty (prizes). If you end up fighting with your lover, maybe you can leave with your bartender?

Woah there, schnookums - Halloween may have been and gone, but don't even think about reverting back to your standard wardrobe options. MEOWvember is upon us, which means dressing up all cat-like and/or donating to the fund of Kate-Anna Williams and Kyle Pauletto, in support of the Saving Animals From Euthenasia organisation (SAFE). In doing so, you stand to win some very cool prizes - original artworks by Kozyndan and Sean Morris, stuff from Pigeonhole and Shop Moose; but more importantly you'll save the lives of some neglected kitties during peak breeding season. If you're equivocal about those unscrupulous principles behind modern-day Halloween, MEOWvember is a chance to dress up whilst 'feline' good about lending a hand to our four-pawed friends.

The word 'vintage' only really conjures up excellent things. Maybe it's cheese, maybe it's wine, maybe it's suave old cars. No matter what it is, it sounds pretty appealing. Vintage clothes are no exception - their title distinguishes them from op shop miscellany and hand-me-downs, letting you know they've been carefully selected, sorted and restored.

Of course, there are those with malicious intent who'll exploit the term's connotations to put hefty price tags on old, second-rate garb. But the crew at Oh Henry Vintage - Northbridge's latest nautical-themed clothing store (yep, there are others) - will hear none of that codswallop. They specialise in quality finds: elegant frocks and tops, dapper menswear, offbeat curio pieces and an array of footwear and accessories from bygone eras.

Oh Henry Vintage source their wares from the U.S.A, Japan and Australia, with garments dating from the 1940s to the early 90s. To appease the aesthetic nerd in all of us, clothing is arranged on the racks by hue. What's more, the sequestered upstairs nostalgia-haven is beautifully decked out - literally 'decked', as Oh Henry's naval motifs don't stop at their life-ring-and-anchor logo. The place is full of seaworthy ropework, exotic island artwork and even a wonderfully kitsch, helm-shaped coffee table.

Thanks to Oh Henry Vintage, we have a $100 store voucher to give away! To enter, answer the following question: