The Thousands

Okay so we all know that street drinking is illegal but there seems to be a legal loophole where if you are getting boozy in Hyde Park within three metres of food you are deemed to be ‘having a picnic’ which transforms your actions from ‘being a public nuisance’ to ‘continuing a great civic tradition’, thereby allowing your good times to be largely overlooked by rangers. I like to call this little loophole the ‘Doritos Clause’.

Now is the perfect time of year to take advantage of the ‘Doritos Clause’ by heading down to Hyde Park with your pack of Doritos, jar of salsa and slab of Oranjeboom: The weather is in that Goldilocks period where it’s warm enough to give you that pleasant sun doziness feeling but not yet brutally hot enough to give you sunstroke, it’s not school holidays yet so if you pick your time you might get the futuristic play equipment to yourself and there’s even water in the lakes! Kinda smells like toilet water but still better than nothing.

At night Hyde Park plays host to some less than savoury activities so you might want to make tracks before the sun goes down. Unless you happen to be into fire twirling, toilet block sex or some bizarre combination of the two.

(Images courtesy of Sarah McCulloch and Herman Ragan)