The Thousands

Ok seriously, you need to find your nearest Maccas and then find a sick spot around the corner. You need to do a dutchie in the car and then probably wait ten minutes until you’re able to deal with talking to humans again. Now rip through that Maccas Drive Thru and order a small, no large (coz you’re thirsty, right?) 10 pack nuggets meal and get that shaker fries salt. It tastes like Samboy BBQ chips and it’s awesome.

Add the desired amount of shaker salt, drop the nugs in and shake that bitch. You’re probably pretty stoned so adding the whole packet of salt will seem like a great idea. Ok, now remember that it’s salt and it’ll make you thirsty. You don’t want to push that limit where mud-mouth turns into sands-of-the-Atacama-Desert-mouth, do you?

Open the bag and you’ll find 10 steaming little parcels of crunchy, salty, processed joy. Let them swim in sweet and sour sauce if you over-salted. Complete mouth and stomach satisfaction is that simple.

Mental note: no matter how ripped you are, you need to discard the packaging immediately. I left it over night and pretty much had to buy a new car. Shit stinks.