The Thousands

What with Santas in the States being trained to downgrade expectations post-GFC (“A bike? Think more: a box of matchsticks and a glass of water! Consider yourself lucky, kid!”) and Jesus announcing that he’d kinda  prefer no fuss this year, maybe we should take the hint and dial it back a shade. But that would be a yukky, mature thing to do… so, no. Instead we’re gonna commit our gimmes to the ether and hope for the best. Are you listening, Colonel Christmas?

Bethany Small, Arts Editor
What I really want is what I’ve wanted for every Christmas and birthday and graduation and whatever since I was 12: the complete Oxford English Dictionary in all its 20-volume hardcopy glory. But as a $1750 price tag and most people’s shock lack of obsession with etymology suggests that this won’t be a goer, how about some awesome scary jewellery? Farah Bandookwala’s Parasite series uses rapid prototyping 3D print technology to make accessories that look like you’re seeing them through a microscope. While the whole range is excellent, I particularly would like to be eaten alive by one of the bangles.

Hayley Morgan, Associate Editor
All I want for Christmas is a pair of these Thom Browne steam-punk opticals. They’re inspired directly from architects, artists, industrial designers and professors from the 40s and 50s (much like the rest of Browne’s designs), so it makes sense that they’re nodding very firmly towards Willson Goggles. The entire collection will be available soon from Think Silly.

Alex English, Intern
Santa, I hope you get this amended Wish List, because as well as everything worn by Abbey Lee, I’ve decided that I also want this, this and these guys. Please. I’ve been good(ish).

Wilfred Brandt, Guru
The ‘Vitamin’ series from Phaidon are always excellent and way cheaper than traveling to a bazillion international art fairs – please buy me their new painting compendium, Vitamin P2.
Lele Saveri is an awesome Italian photographer and he has a new book out.
Why not also chuck in Bruck La Bruce’s BrucExploitation (even though it’s in Italian – what’s up with my Italy love here?).
Also, a Pizza Shirt (in vegetarian). Viva Italia!
Three words: GOATS IN TREES!

Dom Kirkwood, Music Editor
Henge Beat by Total Control can only be summed up in one word: visceral. One of the great Australian albums of 2011 (sound familiar?) this LP will take you on a wild ride via urgent post-punk, The Screamers, and early industrial. If there is one anthem that must be played on repeat before the year is out it has to be ‘Carpet Rash’; it sounds like black magic. You can buy at Red Eye.
The Japanese have one of the most exquisitely-honed senses of refinement and detail anywhere on the planet; nay the universe.  Being a sock plebiscite my feet used to sweat it out in an unholy matrimony of spandex cotton and humidity, which ultimately led to suffocation. However with the Commes Des Garcons sock from Harrolds your feet breathe in a wafer thin glove of ultra fine cotton. It’s time to revolutionise the very thing your foot spends time in most!
Vanity Is Forever is one of the albums of the year by the assuredly demure and sexy Geoffrey O’Connor. If you have not heard it already expect 80s pop hooks as addictive as opiate, O’Connor’s fragile voice, and icy synths. WARNING: GFs may play this on repeat for months on end.
Screw the heavy English Christmas pudding; too hot, too cumbersome, and about as appealing as offering shrimp paste to a five year old. Do what the Italians do and have a Paneforte instead! A delicious concoction of nuts, sultanas, glace cherry, and candied orange swim in a not-too-dense cake. Serve a petite wedge with a cup of strong coffee. From Lamonica IGA, 155 Ramsay St, Haberfield

Angela Bennetts, Fashion Editor
There’s something morbid about burning something in the shape of a baby. Can’t quite put my finger on it. The delicious scents of chypre, jasmine and orange flower as handcrafted by Kiwi Tiffany Jeans of Curio Noir Candles will probably distract you from such thoughts though.
Everyone needs an unidentified ceramic object next to their cactus collection. Do they not? These drip-stained beauties from Melbourne-based artist Leah Jackson are definitely the best guys for the job.

Cleo Braithwaite, Assistant Editor and Eat-Drink Editor
It doesn’t really get more lo-fi then sticking a nozzle in an orange and calling it a beverage. The Citra Sipper is the answer to the question “I am hungover?”
Christmas hampers have always seemed like a shit n mix bag full of dud shortbreads and barley sugars. The Philanthropic Foodie has taken a ‘best of Sydney’ approach, so favourites such as Campos coffee, Christine Manfield, Gelato Messina and Bourke Street Bakery are representing, along with a Future Classic CD to boot (or to play). They cost $150-250 but a chunk of that goes to charity, Youth Off The Streets. Which is a nice thought, while you decant lavosh and freshly shuck gingerbread men.

Alex Vitlin, Editor
Dear Santa please buy me:
- The ‘Royal Standard’ American Felling Axe by Best Made Co
- A bottle of Suze
- London historical map
- A box of Bertman Ball Park mustard
- A first edition of Under The Volcano

Edwina Dittmer, Intern
While you’re eating a delicious plate of ham on Christmas day, spare a thought for the poor sod stuck on kitchen duty. Whether it’s mum, dad, or some random in-law, they will surely appreciate this fragrant gift set from Aesop.