The Thousands

Structured shoulders are all over the fashion world and,much like HIV/AIDS, all the best people have them. But, when one hath nothing more than a paperclip and a dead moth to one’s name, one cannot buy Balmain – one must maketh the Balmain.

You will need the following: shoulder pads, decorative bits and pieces (rope, fringing,ribbon etc), needle and thread, and ten fully functioning fingers (Lincraft and good pre-natal development canhelp you out with these). I normally have ten available to me, but between a particularly horrific door slamming incident, one really horrendous paper-cut, and mysterious and painful swelling in two of my fingers, I was at a clear disadvantage to my colleague, Rachel "look how dexterous I am" Elliot-Jones.**Circa one hour later, we had two sets of shoulder pads (‘The Shredder‘ and ‘Untitled #1‘), three lost needles somewhere on the carpet, and one short stop-motion animation (featuring the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles) that I made when I got bored. If you pull your finger out long enough to try this, you’ll discover, as we and as the hot Danish girls have, that being poor is the new rich. Instructions for insta-shoulders here.