The Thousands

This Sunday: Dry T-Shirt Contest (And Praying)
When people ask me if my job is hard I say no. There are only two ways to write a great church billboard. One is to think of the most inspirational thing you can think of and write that down. The other is to come up with something hilarious and go with that. I’ve never had a problem with either.

Who let the Gods out??
If you’re new to the game, it helps to start with the old adage: simple things amuse simple minds. By that reasoning, religious things must amuse religious minds. Pick something that people say and just slip a church word in.**Pope your cherry
It’s changing though, gone are the days when people went to church because they were scared of going to hell. Now they only go if they think it’ll make them feel good, and by good I mean better than a chai latte or a run from Bondi to Bronte. They need to know what’s in it for them.

God’s love is an X5 for the afterlife
When I tell old classmates of mine that I write church billboards for a living, they almost always screw up their faces and say ‘but you’re not funny’. I just tell them I’m not Christian either. Usually that makes them feel better.