The Thousands

Our kind friend Dougie once spent a good 15 minutes trying to teach me the difference between Ruggers and Stubbies. Unfortunately I was too distracted by his manly thighs to listen, so for now let’s call them ‘man shorts’.

The men I know who favour this variety of trouser seem to find it an immensely satisfying experience, but there are a few key rules for any young’uns considering the man short this summer:

1. You must actually be a man. No boys allowed. If you can’t grow a beard, you can’t wear the man shorts.
2. While wearing the man shorts you should act accordingly. If there’s a shed you should probably go get inside it; if there’s an Iced Vovo around, don’t eat it.
**3. Never be ashamed of your shorts. They’re a perfect day-to-night option, a go everywhere friend. Heading to mum’s for dinner? You’ll look sporty. Date night? Break the ice with an eyeful of flank.
4. No mincing, strutting or demure leg crossing. The only stance is a power stance.

Adhere to these rules and you’re well on your way to one of the best summers of your life. Your thigh-proud, unshackled, leg-hairs-glistening-in-the-sunshine life.