The Thousands

Before dressing brief consider your briefs. Unlike men, $10 at Big W gets a woman nowhere. Consider the frays, the multi-wash sags, the discoloured binding and bin the rubbish to buy this. This, to be clear, is Thousand Dancers Underwear – bras and pants strategically designed to mount your jangly ass and disguise it as a ripe basketball without the dimples.

Fueled by the independent women and shapely silhouettes of the 70s, TDU are showcasing wire-free decorators and full bloomers for those with more hips than nips, while the well endowed can enjoy the support of poetic wire.**TDU’s overt operations are digitally printed in Sydney and built from natural fibres, which we like. Henceforth pears, apples and prunes can wear superlative private protection which has more cheek than Karen Carpenter on drums, and brings you more love than Woodstock.