The Thousands

I don’t often have house guests. They eat my food, stink up the place, complain about the music, and forget to use coasters. P’shaw! Plus, I have to put pants on when they’re over. So screw you house guests!

It’s a shame though. The Tuthilltown Spirits in my cupboard would surely impress company. I could pour them a nice glass of Hudson Baby Bourbon on the rocks – it tastes like a smoother version of Maker’s Mark. Then I could casually set down this beautiful bottle (at which they’d certainly marvel), and tell ‘em about how it comes from a small boutique distillery, and is the first bourbon to be distilled in the state of New York.

Distilled from 100% NY corn, with no sugar added, Hudson New York Corn Whiskey isn’t as smooth. It’s actually kinda harsh. But, uh, it’s MOONSHINE – whaddya expect? With a backstory as amusing as this, my house guests would surely at least try a snifter – or a sniff – of some gen-u-wine ‘White Lightning!’

Imaginary houseguests, you are sorely missing out.