The Thousands

When you’re a pothead, every day revolves around ‘The Mission’ or, more familiarly, ‘The Mish’. The Mish is the process of scoring more pot and can be as painless as a phone call or as harrowing as a train-ride out to Sunshine.

In 1995 my best friend John and I were addicted to marijuana, and happily languished within a great cloud of skunk, high above Brighton Road in sunny Elwood. One time a mish lead us to the home of a guy named ‘Wool’ who purportedly addressed everyone around him as ‘Wool’ or sometimes ‘Wooly’ or even ‘Woola’. We arrived at Wool’s house and I was introduced as ‘Jason’ He shook my hand merrily and said “G’day Wooly! Come on in!”**Inside there were three other dudes, or ‘Woolas’, watching TV. “Woola?” said Wool to one of the Wools, “Make some room on the couch for the Woolies.” We sat down. “Do you Wools want a bong?” asked Wool, packing a cone. “Yes please Wooly.” We replied. Amazingly I am not making this up. (Incidentally, the knit collective Wool and the Gang are offering Australian passport holders 15% off all woolly goods at my favorite café and mixed concept store, The Smile.)