The Thousands

Arturo’s the new guy in our office. Apparently he won the internet in 1973! Also, he is Kripy. We’re more interested in his hand modeling talents though (see WIN, Issue 245), and we’ve put him to good use since his arrival. Or at least we did, until we realised that Karl‘s hands (which also reside in our office) might be better… Now there’s a fierce rivalry between these two men of smooth, attractive hands over who gets to hold objects in the photos we take. Arturo’s decided to take the high road, however, and as a gesture of friendship has made this mix about Karl and his beautiful fingers. Here’s how each song relates:

‘Take on the World’ – Wavves
Wavves makes me think of dolphins. Dolphins don’t have fingers.

Freak Scene’ – Dinosaur Jr
Asteroids didn’t kill the dinosaurs, it was all to do with them not having opposable third fingers.

‘Feel It Around’ – Washed Out
You wouldn’t be able to feel it around without any … you guessed it … fingers.

‘Gold Soundz’ – Pavement
James Bond. Goldfinger. Go figure.

‘Boyfriend’ – Best Coast
All girls in Vegas have boyfriends that hail from the coast. Inevitably death will come calling, in his best coat, skeletal bony fingers and all.

‘Sometimes’ – My Bloody Valentine
Without fingers, cupid wouldn’t be able to fire his arrow. Without arrows, there’d be no love.

‘Sour Grapes’ – Descendants
Fact: if you look at a grape, real closely, under a microscope, you’ll see they’ve got tiny little fingers.

‘Steak Knife’ – Angry Samoans
There’s no way the evil looking sea-creature on the cover of Back From Samoa could have ripped his poor victim’s head off without those claws.

‘Gebbie Street’ – DZ
So you pull into a one way street going the wrong way. How would people point you the right way?

‘Everybody’s Down’ – No Age
Try getting back up without fingers.

‘Gouge Away’ – The Pixies
For professional wrestlers gouging is a way of life. Can you imaging Hulk Hogan minus the digits? Ouch.

‘Fairies Wear Boots’ – Black Sabbath
Shit. Where do I start? Wands, magic dust, acid … the possibilities are endless.