The Thousands

We could have had it all: some pretty legit Mexican, hilarious kitsch that also makes you feel bad, an introduction to gourmet bathing, the kind of viscous dance that restores Dom's faith in music, a Fern Gully on the north shore, Youeni's second head and Uptights... no wait we did.

Photo by Anna Montemayor. Send cover images to alex@rightanglestudio.com.au and be a big deal like Anna.

I’m fairly sure anyone with an adequately functioning moral compass would agree that paying eight year olds to beat the shit out of each other is wrong. However it’s a growing reality in Thailand, and something director Todd Kellstein spent more than three years documenting for Buffalo Girls . Screening as part of the Human Rights Arts & Film Festival, the documentary follows the lives and fights of Stam and Pet, two of an estimated 30,000 child boxers currently working across the country.

It’s made evident that these girls began boxing in Muay Thai tournaments because of the money – indeed, every child interviewed states it as the main reason for fighting (with winnings going straight to their parents). What hangs over the film is whether these kids actually enjoy boxing, or whether they feel duty-bound as the main breadwinners of their respective families to keep fighting. The handfuls of baht changing hands and the jeering spectators give the boxing matches the seedy atmosphere you’d expect, plus the fighting itself is tough to watch. But Stam tells the interviewer she thinks boxing is fun, while her father claims she can stop whenever she gets fed up with it. It’s left to the viewer to decide what the sporting mums and dads are cheering for more - their daughter's sense of achievement and empowerment, or a nice new house.

The Human Rights Arts and Film Festival runs from May 29 to June 1. Find the full program here.

As rough as the sound of a thousand ladies having their nails filed and as warped as DJ Screw on a sizzurp-fuelled bender, Actress’ R.I.P. is a study in harmonious contradiction. Daniel Cunningham has his musical roots firmly planted in the UK’s garage cum techno cum bass cum ‘future’ music scene. However, instead of banging out mindless ‘dance floor’ hits, this Londoner inverts ‘dance music’ into a concoction that is introverted, hypnotic, and textural.

‘Shadow From Tartaurus’ is made up of a dirty, fuzzy bassline, a barely audible kick drum, and a synth that sounds like a hybrid wind chime/marimba that rhythmically peels off into the distance. ‘Marble Plexus’ is a more conventional track with a haunting synth line, counter-rhythmical bass, and the jerky pitter-patter of a hi-hat that has become so emblematic of UK-based Garage music. Other highlights include the Burial-esque ‘Caves of Paradise’, the bubbling house of ‘N.E.W.’, and the minimalist, buttery noises and tones of ‘Jardin’.

Regardless of whether it's the shallow rock n’ roll of Kings of Leon, or the horrible digital pollution emitted by David Guetta, music can seem like it has its head stuck somewhere between its lower intestine and its own arse. Producers like Actress offer reassurance to my tired brain that everything is OK.

Los Angeles. Few cities in modern times are surrounded by so much mythology, and misinformation. One thing I love about Los Angeles is the sheer fruitcake-iness of the place. Religious cults, diet gurus, pet psychologists, auras and fads. Few other places are you so encouraged to indulge your every personal whim. A cultural artefact that perfectly embodies this is WET: The Magazine of Gourmet Bathing.

"What is 'gourmet bathing'?" editor Leonard Koren asks rhetorically. "I didn't really know. And I didn't really care. I supposed it could mean a multitude of things. That was good". From 1976 to 1981 Koren published this weird indie mag (which included contributors Gary Panter and a pre-Life in Hell / Simpsons Matt Groening). It was ahead of its time in terms of design, editorial scope, and artistic vision.

Koren recounts the making of the mag herein. Its concept grew out of 'bath art' Koren had been making wherein friends would bathe according to instructions - in water, mud, hot air, or steam - with their activity documented in photos. After bath art came a party at a local bathhouse (mixed gender). It makes sense Koren would take an interest in water; he was literally surrounded by it living in Venice, L.A., in a former gondola garage that had later been turned into an auto garage - the grease pit of which, Koren's flatmate had turned into a tranquil pool.

Bathing is broadly defined and characterised as personal, celebratory, fun, frivolous, and empowering. If it still doesn't make sense and seems kinda silly to you, well that's the point.

Wade Marynowsky's Universal Remote seems to be postulated on a kind of postcolonial critique of a speculative appropriation of the recent past. There are beeping things, and shiny aluminium, and lights going on and off in unparsable code and white rooms, so we're in some kind of 1970s retro-future?

But instead of being extrapolations of technology that existed then, the objects populating the gallery space are both primitivised versions of those ironic visions, and comfortable everyday technology, made bigger and made useless. Wooden remote controls that are reminiscent of tombstones. A mirror with the image of an ATM in it entitled 'The balance of your bank account is reflected in your face'. Panels and soft furnishings studded with plastic arcade buttons.

These works take the meaning out of objects by stripping them of function and/or sincerity: all they can genuinely communicate is an allusion to form. Instead of being attempts to do or to suggest something, these objects work as motifs and curios, the gallery treated as an interior that's been overtaken by a decorator with a taste for an alternate-reality kind of kitsch that, like the here-and-now kind, is hilarious but also makes you feel bad. Hahaha OUCH.

Leggings. Let’s take a moment to consider that word. Do we have skullings? No, we have beanies. What about footings? We use shoes for that! It’s a weird word (a verb AND a noun!) and a frankly pretty weird piece of apparel (pants AND not pants!) Despite the weird, do you want them perma-sprayed on your legs? Ninety-eight times out of one hundred, the answer is probably.

Penny Kokinelis is a 26-year-old from Sydney. She makes kaleidoscopic leggings (or, ok, ‘tights’ – ALSO WEIRD) for her label Up Tights. Penny does everything from design the graphics, to sew the garments, to budgeting and distribution. Feeling lazy yet? That’s ok, leggings are perfect for that. Cracking that classic dude leg-splay just got one bit easier, ladies.

The prints range from super-cute raindrops and blue birds to white static and sugar skulls, stamped on a matte polyester lycra, and as I said, totally handmade, so there can be a tiny bit of a delay between when you order and when you wear. From a doodle in the park, inspirations like her grandpa’s pajamas, the illustrations from 50's kids books, Manish Arora and Marimekko studio of the 60's transform into something new, but not neu-rave. There’s also twisted zany house-mom turbans and dresses planned for later in the year. It all adds up to: we likings.

Al Carbón is a soon-to-be launched food truck (the truck itself is still being fabricated). While they rev their engine, the owners have fitted out the space where they cook in Canterbury as La Lupita, a "pop-up taqueria".

For a 'temporary' fit-out, La Lupita's decor is surprisingly smart, stylish, and heaps more characterful than a lot of their contemporaries. A striking backlit photo by photographer Jason Tomas Fritz covers one wall - behind a stage for live music - and the opposite wall is covered in a relief made from wooden blocks.

So the tacos? Are freaking awesome - the best I've had in Sydney. And at three for $10.50 they're a bargain. Expect a long wait in line, but you can kill time sipping on Mexican beer (cans of Rio Bravo, bottles of Red Pig) a Jarrito, or just staring mesmerized at the rotating flame grilled skewers. If they don't have vego on the menu just ask, they will make 'em. Once you have your tacos you can garnish from bowls of toppings: chilis, coriander, salsa, guacamole, sliced radishes, etc. The night I went they had a dry salsa called chiltepi which was excellent.

The crowd was friendly and lowkey; latino families socialising and eating, alongside after work couples and curious taco hounds like myself. It reminded me of South American Night at Kensington Bowling Club but with more of a mixed crowd (at Kenso, being a gringo, I felt like an interloper). At the moment they are only open occasionally (watch La Lupita's Facebook or Al Carbón's Twitter), which is a shame - I would take the train out to Canterbury to eat there again in a heartbeat. Viva Al Carbón!

Six months ago, the NSW Minister for Planning and Infrastructure wrote to the mayor of Botany Bay to bemoan Eastlakes Shopping Centre. Apparently, it is "a tired shopping centre that all acknowledge needs redevelopment". It is a precious relic of late '70s mall aesthetics, and you should visit while you still can - not just because it's a bizarre time portal - but because it is also full of actual, purely unironic treasures.

Let's start with Stolichniy Minimart. Next time you're bringing treats to a tea party, forego the boring Tim Tam for delicious Lithuanian milk cookies, or cheap yet extravagantly Swan-Lake-packaged chocolates and marzipan looking things. Instead of Coke bring Kvass, the Slavic soft drink made from fermented rye bread, technically a light beer. There are Moldovan breakfast cereals with prizes inside, Lithuanian preserves (did you know there are varieties of bilberry?), pelmeni (Russian dumplings) and every variety of horseradish/sauerkraut/cucumbers in brine type thing you'd ever want, as well as the widest range of 'sprats' surely in Sydney, if not Australia. They also have a freezer full of little Russian icecreams!

In front of the Eastern European importers is a stand where the donut man makes his own tiny donuts and sells them in the same display case as toy trucks and 'dancing chickens'. read more

It's a brazen move to open your 100% outdoor cafe on the coldest Sydney day since Spring (that was Monday). In another bold move, they've opened a muffin's throw from their original Youeni Provides (on South Dowling), just around the corner in Hill Street.

Luckily they're cocksure because they've got the goods to back themselves. If you can judge a cafe on its eggs (creamily scrambled with braised fennel, roasted tomato and two giant rafts of toast) then they've cracked it. If you judge a cafe on its coffee, you'll be pleased to hear they're roasting their own in Wollongong (be aware, the standard cup size here wouldn't be out of place at Starbucks - so if you don't like too much milk in your flattie, adjust accordingly).

The other details aren't lost here. Bircher isn't the boring option when it's packed full of roasted almonds and topped with vanilla poached pears, while baked ricotta with melba toasts sounds dainty-cute. A reason to return for lunch might be the beef brisket, blackened caramelised onions and pomme puree or the Italian flat bread.

Perhaps you pick a place on the service, in which case, here's some of the nicest folk to ever take your order.

Seems like those bold strokes might just be hustling them some winning moves. CHECKMATE.

Poor Walter Burley Griffin. He won a competition to design the capital city of this country and all he got for it was a battle with bureaucracy, a legacy of national derision and roundabout jokes, and a Dick Diver lyric that draws a link between planned cities and Hitler.

Despite this, he and wife Marion Mahony Griffin must have been on some kind of creative high because they went on to sculpt the Sydney suburbs of Castlecrag, Castle Cove and Middle Cove. Their impact can be felt in the public access foreshore reserve, the roads that hug the contours of the land and the 15 modern houses they designed in harmony with the natural environment - "no fences, no boundaries, no red roofs to spoil the Australian landscape". And last, but not least, the Haven Amphitheatre.

The theatre was Marion's baby; this gully chosen to be developed as a community theatre for its acoustics and seating potential. Now, I'm not suggesting you actually attend a show here, because maybe you're not George Washingmachine's target audience. BUT this peaceful fern tree gully is ripe for the picnicking. Take a blanket, get a couple of homemade pies from the French place in Castlecrag and...how's the serenity? A truly lovely little pocket of Sydney.

Afterwards take a self-guided tour around the houses designed by WBG. He also went on to build a number of municipal incinerators, but you'll have to discover those on your own.

Kinema's old home out in the wilds of Balmain / Rozelle was much beloved, but their new space - the AV Union on Parramatta Road in Leichhardt - is not only easier for more to reach, it puts them in great company with Parramatta Road residents Blank Records and Black Wire to Common Ground. For their first screening, it's two lesser known documentaries by everyone's favorite German curmudgeon, Werner Herzog! Unfortunately there will be no live reading by Werner of Where's Wally.

Anton Newcombe and his sprawling many-tentacled psych beast are heading our way again. First stop on their tour is the Metro Theatre, then stopping by again on their way to the departure lounge, to play a final Aus show at OAF. Hear lastest album Aufheben's cinematic departure from some of the darkness of earlier albums, plus it's always endearing to hear Anton embrace the local colloquialisms such as 'Get a dog up ya". With support from the fuzzy haze of Denmark's The Raveonettes.

Judging by the last Hand Games night you'll want to suck this gobstopper. On the outside it's rocking little screamers The Upskirts. Suck through that to find a '70s surf film soundtrack by The Otchkies, and then it's all freewheeling Abbey Road aesthetics with Richard in Your Mind, warm and glowing at its centre.

The Rizzeria is a collective of printmakers and self-publishers who combined forces to buy a screen printing press. They ran workshops and let the public use it, and caused many beautiful things to exist. In January, their RISO RP3700 met with an accident, which by March was understood to be fatal. They launched a very generous Pozible campaign - rewarding all donors with truly beautiful precious pieces and now, the Rizzeria is ready to relaunch! Artists have contributed works for auction, which Rizzeria hope will raise enough to keep their new press serviced for a year. Come make some bids on work you'll be so proud to own and generally celebrate their renewed presence in our town.

As you'd know, we almost always think Erotic Fan Fiction and Teen Diary Readings sound pretty great. Throw in Andrew Denton, Tom Ballard, Marieke Hardy, Nadine Von Cohen, Ben Jenkins, Zoe Norton Lodge, Nick Coyle, Eddie Sharp and Monique Schafter and you've got yourself the best freakin event at this years Sydney Writers Festival - AND they sandwich an intermission with The Chaser gents plus Waleed Aly plus Jeffrey Eugenides.

Where have we been for the past two weeks? Speeding around in our media truck. And browsing upon the Lee Jeans Facebook Page. In a few weeks we will reveal the connection between these two activities. (Okay, it is a competition that will enable you to transform your brain into prizes via the power of the internet. More on this soon, so keep a tab open.)

Anyway, in our travels around the Lee Facebook Page we could not help but admire the new ladies' high-waisted, stretchy and skinny High Licks ($149-$189) and the gentlemen's drop crutch and tapered leg Swagger Skins ($169). Both are from the Lee Jeans Autumn Winter 2012 collection, and so we asked them to give us a pair to give away to you, depending on your nominated gender identity. To try and win, just answer the following question.