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Issue 214
2000
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THURSDAY 26 NOVEMBER

You know what's good? Taking something quite pleasant (say, a cat) and turning it into something amazing (like a cat who moonlights as the Lord of Darkness, for example). It's not rocket science, it's just rad.

Other examples of transformative radness might include taking some of your best articles and turning them into a book, or taking a book and turning it into a party.

Crayons are nice, but these are so much better. And what trumps a bar? A bar with a bazillion varieties of green fairy juice, that's what.

 

TwoThousand 214 - tricked out

On the site now (it's updated every day!):

READ: This Long Century
STRAY: Motorcycle Learner Permit Courses
HEAR: Two Sides of the Truth/Do Anything Go Anywhere
READ: Important Artifacts and Personal Property From the Collection of Lenore Doolan and Harold Morris, Including Books, Street Fashion and Jewelry

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Cover photo by Hayley Morgan. If you would like to submit a cover shot email alice@rightanglestudio.com.au

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Street
Street 1   Street 2   Street 3   Street 4
Street 5   Street 6   Street 7   Street 8
Halfway Crooks
Credit: Sweetie
Cool

Cats for gold
Charlotte Gainsbourg's clip with Beck
Wally was with Jessica Stam all along
New melissas in stock!
You are here accessories
Checking out Husmann Tschani
Aesop Singapore
Naughty soap
The internet sure weights a lot
Weaving with spider silk
David Sedaris on vinyl
Santa is on Twitter
99 problems


Tell us what's cool
cool@twothousand.com.au
  Fool

Clients from hell
Next I'll get a bite mark on my neck
refuses to pay search party costs
No-one sells this iPod dock
you may now kiss the Nintendo
Getting your tattoo from a carny
Stapling your head some more
Not owning soap
But not as much as the mail I got
Spider milk
Driving Monaros on amyl
Elves
But a witch ain't one


Tell us what's fool
fool@twothousand.com.au
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Read

What:
The 10 Rules of Rock and Roll

Who:
Robert Forster

Where:
Ariel Booksellers, 100 George St, The Rocks & Oxford St, Paddington. Berkelouw Books and all good book stores

How much:
$27.95



  The 10 Rules of Rock and Roll

Robert Forster is not technically a journalist. He was, however, one half of this country's answer to Lennon/McCartney in the Go-Betweens. So, consider him more than qualified for his latest gig, sitting pretty alongside Helen Garner and Clive James as the music critic for highbrow periodical The Monthly.

The 10 Rules of Rock and Roll is a selection of Forster's articles to date. It's well-written, passionate stuff, funny in an arched-eyebrow, unapologetically hip way, an extension of his lyrical style. His subjects are varied but impeccably chosen, from Glen Campbell to Antony & the Johnsons, Bonnie ‘Prince' Billy to Paul Kelly. He does not shy away from hyper-commercial pap; in fact, a highlight is his piece on Delta Goodrem. It is a pleasure to read thoughtful deconstruction of that which is most constructed.

 

The book finishes with some works of almost-fiction and a couple of touching essays on Grant McLennan, his sadly passed accomplice and best mate. Forster speaks in the voice you occasionally acquire at the height of a good dinner party, when you grip the truth by the neck and can hardly believe how much sense you're making. The difference is that he's Robert Forster, and you've had too much to drink.

By Max Olijnyk

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Hear

What:
Songs

Who:
Songs

On:
Popfrenzy

See them live:
Album launch Sat Nov 28 at Oxford Art Factory with Panel of Judges and Lost Animals. Doors 8pm, tickets $13 +BF from here

Win:
Thanks to Popfrenzy, we have a dbl pass to the launch to give away! Email win@twothousand.com.au with the subject line 'Play us that song, you know the one'



  Songs album launch

Where their EP showcased an off-the-cuff looseness and a near-enough-is-good-enough attitude, Songs' self-titled debut album is a study in (relative) discipline, with thoroughly explored song structures and deftly crafted soundscapes.

These are songs that have been broken down and rebuilt numerous times. Yet this more involved approach to song writing has done nothing to lessen the immediacy of the music. From the drug-addled romp of the opening track 'Farmacy' to the deadpan come-on Kraut of closer 'My Number', Songs have written an album that pulls and teases attention out of every strum, every drone; out of every snare pop, every unhurried utterance.

 

This album is not demanding that you pay attention to it though. It feels casual in its form and its function. It exists autonomously. An island cast adrift without any pomp or ceremony, washes of dark and light surfacing and submerging in its wake. This understated attitude shouldn't fool you though, as this is one of the most stunning releases of the year. 

By Douglas Lance Gibson

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Hear

What:
Cream's Listening Station for Unsigned Music  

Where:
Cream on King, 317 King St, Newtown

When:

Mon-Wed 10am-6pm, Thur 10am-8pm, Fri-Sun 10am-6pm

How much:
Free

Contact for submissions:
Call Phil or John on 9565 2955



  Cream's Listening Station for Unsigned Music    

Are you listening? Cream are.

Vintage store with community intentions, Cream, have devoted a section of their King Street retail space to a Listening Station. With a provision of earphones and a resting pew, they're channeling music by bands who are unsigned, independent and have blown their heads - bands like Bearhug, Dead China Doll and A Casual End Mile while anticipating the new Circle Pit demo.

The staff at Cream are musos and artists themselves so they know what it takes to put your creations out there and on the line - it can be bleak. Recognition and appreciation are often just two notions which live out of reach on the high shelf. The fact that these bands have something to say in their own sonic language, and are doing it independently deserves credit.

 

With no other intention than bringing an education of local music to the people, Cream brings the notion of listening into their paisley kingdom. Call the heads for audio submissions and watch the Surry Hills space.

By Lisa Lerkenfeldt

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Shop

What:
'Pearl's Dream, Romance Was Born concept store

Where:
2a Glenmore Rd, Paddington

When:
Fri Nov 27-Sun Jan 31, Fri-Wed 10am-6pm, Thur 10am-9pm

Contact:
www.romancewasborn.com

View map



  Pearl's Dream, Romance Was Born concept store

I once dreamt that I caught a shooting star, which was nice and all, but what I really want is an underwater dream. I bet they're loaded with meaning. You know, really deep. Never mind, as Romance Was Born are opening an oceanic concept store, Pearl's Dream, to follow on from their most recent collection, 'Doilies and Pearls, Oysters and Shells'. Anna Plunkett and Luke Sales, the names behind the label, weave fairy tale and theatrics with kitsch and nostalgia. The space will be as much at home with mermaid-tails as with Paddo's well-heeled. Complete with creations inspired by coral and octopi, it's a neptunian odyssey without the threat of the bends.

 

You probably already know the tale of these talented locals, how they've adorned the forms of Karen O, Cyndi Lauper and Debbie Harry (yes, those wallflowers), and that when they were first starting out they famously turned down internships with Galliano. So, no big deal. Their future is one of international conquer, but for the moment they're still in our sights. Much like a shooting star, this pop-up effort will soar and sparkle, until January 31 when it ends its stellar run. Catch it while you can.

By Cleo Braithwaite

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Look

What:
The Stars Eat Your Body, Del Kathryn Barton

Where:
Kaliman Gallery, 56 Sutherland St, Paddington

When:
Opens Fri Nov 27, 6pm
Runs until Sat Dec 19, Tues-Sat 11am-5.30pm

Contact:
9357 2273 or info@kalimangallery.com

View map



  The Stars Eat Your Body, Del Kathryn Barton

It's been two years since Del Kathryn Barton won the Archibald Prize for her self portrait, You are what is most beautiful about me, a self portrait with Kell and Arella. Since then Barton has largely remained out of the gallery, focusing instead on her upcoming exhibition.

Beginning this Friday at Kaliman Gallery is The Stars Eat Your Body, which includes the artist's most ambitious project to date - a four panel dreamscape that covers the entire width of the gallery space. Along with this polyptych is a series of portraits that articulate the masculine form through Barton's personal mythology.

 

Despite the sheer scale of her latest work, Barton has retained her atomical detail. Each portrait is filled with minute details that transform the human face into a topographical map of the distance each character has travelled. Expect to be transported by this series of portraits that turns the familiarly human into the foreign.

By Toby Chapman

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Watch

What:
The French Kissers

Where:
In cinemas December 26

Watch the trailer:
Here

Win:
Thanks to Palace Films, we have 5 advance screening dbls to give away! To enter, email win@twothousand.com.au with the subject 'que faites-vous à ce pâté en croûte?'



  The French Kissers

France's answer to American Pie - Tarte Française, perhaps? - is adorable, excruciating fun, with a much more edgy indie feel than its trans-Atlantic counterpart. Director Riad Sattouf is a comic-book illustrator whose best-known work is The Secret Life of Youth, and his debut film's original French title was Beautiful Kids. Like the film's year-nine protagonists, Sattouf spent his teenage years in Rennes, Brittany, and there's an affectionate yet unsentimental authenticity in the way he presents the small agonies of adolescence.

Hormone-fuelled Hervé (Vincent Lacoste) is constantly humiliated by his mum (the hilarious Noémie Levovsky), and since he and his mullet-rocking sidekick Camel (Anthony Sonigo) are the school dropkicks, getting a real girl seems unlikely. But when Aurore (Alice Tremolieres) takes a shine to Hervé, he'll have to choose between his nerdy friends and the promise of actual sex.

 

There are plentiful semen jokes, poo jokes and MILF jokes (Aurore's mum is played by '80s babe Irène Jacob), but there are also sweet, contemplative moments. With the wisdom of my advanced old age, I can watch The French Kissers knowing that these kids are gonna turn out fine.

By Mel Campbell

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Goods

What:
Crayon Rings

When:
Now

Where:

Third Drawer Down

How much:
$12



  Crayon Rings

So, I just tried to look up crayons on the internets. Are they really made of paraffin wax? (Yes) How many standard Crayola colours are there? (133) Why do they present such a choking hazard? (They don't, why are you asking?) Are they racist? (Not any more - Indian Red, Prussian Blue and Flesh have all been ‘retired') And you know what I found out? About this innocent little chunk of crafty cuteness? Google ‘crayon', and this is what comes up in the Wikipedia entry: "A crayon is something some people have sex with."*

 

SAY WHAT NOW? Well, my mum got it all wrong about the birds and the bees. This puts a whole new slant on Play Hour. And it surely puts a whole new slant on these nifty little knuckle dusters coming in a range of super-poppy primary colours. As we all know, sex sells. Sex looks sexy. And sex can be dangling from a finger near you (potentially, yours) at a mere $12. Now that's some bang for your buck.  

*Update: Wiki have since cleaned up their crayon entry. They're onto us!

By Angela Bennetts

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EatDrink

What:
Absinthe Salon

Where:
87 Albion St, Surry Hills

When:
Tues-Sun 4pm-10pm

How much:
Glasses from $12

Contact:
9211 6632

View map



  Absinthe Salon

First things first: Absinthe Salon serves nothing but absinthe. You're here for absinthe or you're not here. In a fit of indulgence, I figured I'd go sample the product of the joint then write this piece while under some faux-Rimbaud buzz.

The fit out of the tiny room is a charming homage to fin-de-siècle continental salons, but the great attraction is in the ritual. Each table is adorned with a glass water fountain, which you set dripping over a sugar cube to achieve your preferred louche. Then comes the giggly high of drinking the stuff, which I banally described thus: "see it's complex but fun."

 

Forget the Green Fairy or La Fée that you've shot in bars over the years. Each possibility possesses the complexity of a proper wine or whiskey, and the learned owners are only too happy to recommend something to your tastes. My 68% Duplais Verte, for example, was brutishly different to the silky 52% La Volate Bovet preferred by our senior editor. Both numbers there represent alcohol volume; both are giddy rides.

It seems short shrift to describe Absinthe Salon as merely a bar, and it's probably wrong to treat it that way, despite the inclination to get comfortably numb. The focus means it won't be for everyone, but for those interested, it's a lifted experience.

By Alex Vitlin

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Stray

What:
High and Dry Festival

Where:
Camp Wollimi, St Albans

When:
Fri Nov 27- Sun Nov 29

How much:
$160+bf here

Win:
We have a dbl pass to give away! To enter, email win@twothousand.com.au with your phone number and the subject line 'You create your own reality'

View map



  High and Dry Festival

So the tag line for this festival is "A real festival for imaginary people". What? I thought we were real people! Is this all in my mind? I'm freaking out over here. Take me back to the chai tent! Where's my lawyer?

Sorry, I shouldn't play the stereotypes. It's too easy to look at a festival like this and get all "Stop rolling around in the mud, acid freaks!", when really we all know there's little better than a good romp through nature at this time of year. Especially when its everyday wonders are enhanced by performances from some of Sydney's most interesting independent musicians and artists, the majority of whom totally don't look like this.

 

High and Dry is, essentially, three days of music, arts and camping just two hours North of Sydney. I'm told it's some the lushest camp real estate around too, right next to a truly special river beach. Plus, it's BYO!

Highlights include performances by Sketch the Rhyme, Token Imagination, Oh Really, The Bakery, Thundamentals and Foreign Dub, but there are over 100 programmed acts to choose from (and probably no chai tent).

By Alice Fenton

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Out

What:
More Outs!

Where:
On The Calendar Now

 

FILM: Bondi Short Film Festival

BAND: Kids At Risk

DJ: Tim Sweeney

What:
Ghosts Of Television LP Launch w/ Whores + Knitted Abyss + Hocman & Hopkins

Where:
Goodgod Small Club, 55 Liverpool St, City

When:
Thur Nov 26, 8pm

How much:
$10

 

Description:
Heaps of people want to go to this show. We can tell by reading comments like "Wizzbang excited!!", "Am coming, also working a 12-hour day afterwards :V", "LP F#$k yeah" and "Man for a second i thought you guys were doing a cover of Good God from Life is peachy. Its not too late". Plus the line-up is freaking incredible. The album is only being released on vinyl and it comes with an A4 sized lyric sheet which could be used for home karaoke nights. Or you could purchase the LP right before they play and use the lyric sheet to help you sing along to every song. The band and the person in front of you would probably really like it. But seriously, we're wizzbang excited too. - HM

What:
Even Books #11: Anthropology - 101 True Love Stories

Where:
Bill & George, Level 1, 10-16 William St, Redfern

When:
Fri Nov 27, 7pm

How much:
Entry by donation

 

Description:
So, you're thinking now that Even Books has a SMAC nomination, they're gonna be all hoity-toity. Not so. They're admiring Dan Rhodes' Anthropology: 101 Stories of True Love, and have invited your love stories for contribution to a zine. Everybody's got something to say about love, but all you really need to know can be found on an eve in Redfern, listening to Caitlin Park and Dave Rennick. In a mystery kissing booth. With a lovingly produced zine rustling softly in your book bag. Oh Even Books, you dreamboat. - CB

What:
Gold Shoulder #3

Where:
Goodgod Small Club, 55 Liverpool St, City

When:
Fri Nov 27, 9pm

How much:
$12 on the door

 

Description:
Squishing three big bands into a self-declared small club is a recipe for musical KABOOM. We've been counting the sleeps until this gig, which combines the launch of the third installment of Mountain Fold as well as sets from The UV Race, Royal Headache and Lakes with a DJ spell from Bed Wettin' Bad Boys. The massive punk power blaring from this stage might fit more comfortably in a bigger venue, like say, space. But thats not to say we aren't content with the Small Club. - JB

What:
Lost Valentinos Album Launch w/ Ghoul + Bearhug

Where:
The Wall, 345 Parramatta Rd, Leichhardt

When:
Fri Nov 27, 8pm

How much:
$16

 

Description:
Lost Valentinos are a bit of a jewel in the crown of Sydney's electro-pop scene. They've been turning heads in the UK too, including Zane Lowe's, NME's and The Guardian's - the latter of which named them band of the week following the release of debut album Cities of Gold. Catch them between European tours to celebrate this long-awaited LP, the title of which is, I hope, a nod to their humble hometown. - DZ

What:
Fast Times at Ridgemont High

Where:
Darlo Bar, 306 Liverpool St, Darlinghurst

When:
Wed Dec 30, 8pm

How much:
Free

 

Description:
We all harbour some nostalgia for the decade we were born into. That ache in your gut isn't last night's kebab; it's a pang of longing for better times past. If it's only reversion to the 80s that will relieve your pain, don't worry - Darlo Bar can help. They're screening Fast Times at Ridgemont High, one of the decade's most quintessential films. Watch it on the rooftop, ale in hand, popcorn in lap, and feel that sting melt away. - DZ

What:
A Midsummer Night's Dream

Where:
Belvoir Theatre, 25 Belvoir St, Surry Hills

When:
Thur Nov 26-Dec 20, Tues 7pm, Wed-Sat 8.15pm, Sun 5.15pm

How Much:
$29/$23, Cheap Tuesdays $10

Win:

A dbl pass to Thur Dec 3 show. To enter, email win@twothousand.com.au with the subject 'Bless thee, Bottom! Bless thee!'

 

Description:
If you don't like love, pleasure, freedom, parties or summer, this is not the play for you. For everyone else, this production of Shakespeare's randy classic weaves glittering karaoke, wedding songs and charming bestiality around the adorable tomfoolery. Staged by a merry bunch of youngsters in B Sharp's independent experimentation lab, the play is still relevant 400 years after it was written. First, beautiful, summery l.o.v.e. - JB

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Win

 

Men so often get forgotten in the accessories department. The vibe's pretty much "You've got pockets don't you? Functional ones? Well shoosh up and be a man then. Surely you can make do with a money clip."

But we say even the manliest of men deserves fine leather. Fine leather in a generous selection of colours, hand made if you will. So do Cheddar Pocket, whose lovely (but very manly) wallets are designed to get better with age and weather beautifully as time passes.

They're also releasing a selection of (staunchly masculine) belts and bags soon, so you'll have an alternative to your loop of string and tool kit.

Right now though, we have two Daryl wallets to give away! To enter, just answer the following question.

 

This week's question:

Real men

a) like steak

b) wash their hair with sheds

c) never say sorry

d) have real wallets

To be in the running send your answer AND postal address to win@twothousand.com.au, winners will be notified by email. Subscriber only entry. Not a subscriber? It's free you willies! Sign up here.

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About Us

TwoThousand is a weekly snapshot of Sydney's subculture, fired by email into the loving arms of people who realise that the best things in life are often hard to find. It is compiled by an amorphous gaggle of writers, stylists, designers and photographers who all like huddling under that big umbrella we call creativity. Without editorial independence TwoThousand has nothing. All editorial you read is featured because it's worth it - not because it's paid for.

ADVERTISING PARTNERSHIPS
TwoThousand is a trusted and proven medium for advertisers to engage with Sydney's most elusive individuals - our subscribers. Each issue offers one advertiser the opportunity to have sole presence in the e-newsletter. A variety of placements (three, to be exact) are also available on twothousand.com.au. For more information on advertising with TwoThousand, contact:

MANAGING DIRECTOR
Francesco Nazzari
frunch@rightanglestudio.com.au

FEEDBACK
Have something to say? Then say it by emailing editorial@twothousand.com.au.

DISCLAIMER
The information in TwoThousand is subject to change. Although we attempt to ensure that the content at the time of publication is correct, we do not guarantee its accuracy or currency. Right Angle Studio accepts no responsibility to you or anyone else arising from any use or reliance on the information contained in TwoThousand or any inaccuracy in the information. The views and opinions expressed on material included in TwoThousand may not reflect those of Right Angle Publishing.

 

CONTACT
Right Angle Studio
Suite 29, 94 Oxford St
Darlinghurst, NSW, 2010
(02) 9358 2707

POSTAL
PO BOX 437
Darlinghurst, NSW, 1300

TWOTHOUSAND TWITTER
twitter.com/Two_Thousand

TWOTHOUSAND FACEBOOK
Search Fan Page: TwoThousand

GROUP PUBLISHER
Barrie Barton
+ 61 3 96621657
barrie@rightanglestudio.com.au

SENIOR EDITOR
Nadia Saccardo
nadia@rightanglestudio.com.au

PUBLICATIONS MANAGER
Penny McVey
pennymcvey@rightanglestudio.com.au

EDITOR
Lisa Lerkenfeldt
lisa@rightanglestudio.com.au

DEPUTY EDITOR
Alice Fenton
alice@rightanglestudio.com.au

EDITORIAL ASSISTANT
Cleo Braithwaite
cleo@rightanglestudio.com.au

OUT EDITOR
Hayley Morgan
hayley@rightanglestudio.com.au

WATCH EDITOR
Mel Campbell
mel@rightanglestudio.com.au

EAT/DRINK EDITOR
Alex Vitlin
alex@rightanglestudio.com.au

STREET PHOTOGRAPHERS
Sweetie, Maja Baska

SENIOR CONTRIBUTORS
Penny Modra
Max Olijnyk
Rachel Surgeonor
Danielle Marsland
Toby Chapman
Angela Bennetts
Dougas Lance Gibson

OUT CONTRIBUTORS
Jacqueline Breen
Matt Unicomb

INTERN MONKEY
Daniel Zwi

 
 
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