| view online unsubscribe forward to a friend   |  THURSDAY 28 JANUARY
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 | |  | |  | |  |  | |  | |  | |  | A Hole In The Sky presents Pond
Credit: Rafaela Pandolfini |  |  | | | | | | | 
What:
This Is Why You're Fat: Where Dreams Become Heart Attacks
Who:
Jessica Amason and Richard Blakeley
Where:
Here
How much:
$11 + shipping
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| | With the blindness-inducing years of my sexual awakening sitting pretty much parallel to the introduction of the internet to the mainstream market, I've seen more cum-drenched faces and boys with daddy issues than you can shake a dick at. Now suitably jaded and pushing 30, it's gotten to the point where it takes an amputee midget sitting front row centre at a bukkake party to raise an eyebrow.
So, nowadays when I'm looking for something to whet my appetite, I turn somewhere else to get my kicks - food porn. And the one place that rivals Eastern European hardcore sites when it comes to getting you salivating as much as it has you turning away in disgust is This Is Why You're Fat. | | Offering page after page of heart-clogging, bowel-shredding treats including the chocolate covered bacon maple donut bar and the banana peanut butter cup and marshmallow grilled sandwich, it is the ultimate gastronomological gangbang. And in a move akin to landing François Sagat as your live-in lover, the genius sons' of bitches who created the site have released a cookbook so you can recreate the deliciously monstrous meals in your very own home.
I think I just came. By Luke Malone | | | | | | | 
What:
Black Lips
Who:
Patrick Collins speaks to Jared Swilley
Where:
Buy the record, 200 Million Thousand! Or the Almighty Defenders record! See them live:
At Manning Bar, Mon Feb 8, doors 8pm, tickets $42 +BF from here
Win:
Thanks to Handsome Tours we have 2 dbls to the show to give away! And thanks to Speak n Spell the winners get an album each too. To enter, email win@twothousand.com.au with the subject 'I am Bruce Wayne enough'
| | 
| | The Black Lips just may have finally grown up. Sure Jared threw down and got punched in the face by some shitty Brooklyn band but those guys suck anyway, and that punch won't make them any better. But there are fewer and fewer reports of the Lips whipping out their junk for the hell of it, vomiting on each other, and pissing off (and on...) their fans.
What has become apparent through talking with Jared Swilley in this interview is that they surely used to be little pukes, but these days they're all about bringing rock to the under rocked, working with Canadians, and living their dream which is to spit in the faces of everyone who was sure they'd end up homeless.
| | Patrick Collins: So Jared, this is covered territory but back in the day your family had a band, The Swilley Family Band. Have you guys ever thought of covering one of their songs?
Jared Swilley: Yeah, the Swilley Family Band was a couple of my twice removed cousins. I don't think we'll ever cover them but, well maybe I should go back and listen to them again. It's just that they're more of a novelty.
PC: It's Southern Gospel stuff right? Not really your guys' scene.
JS: Yeah, pretty straightforward Southern Gospel music.
PC: You boys got into some trouble in India while you were out there, do you think you'll ever be going back?
JS: (laughs) No I don't think any time in the foreseeable future... read the rest here! By Patrick Collins | | | | | | |
What:
Heatless Ark
Who:
Blank Realm
On:
Not Not Fun
Myspace:
www.myspace.com/blankrealm
| | 
| | Intuition plays a large part in the nature of music. Whether learned on their chosen instrument or approaching it from a new angle, the ability of a group of players to lock into and interweave with each other's sounds is a crucial dynamic. This instinctual nature shines through strongly on Blank Realm's debut vinyl release, Heatless Ark.
That three of the members are siblings may account for the ease with which this Brisbane band shift from soundscape to soundscape. From the druggy jaunt of the title track to the suicide in slow mo of ‘Blues Helix', you can hear as sounds are tested, bent and prodded until everything suddenly snaps into focus. Tangents appear, tangents are followed, tangents are resolved, and songs are born. | | Blank Realm possess that rare talent of appearing to be loose and free whilst actually remaining tight and connected. For this level of awareness to be apparent so early in their career only bodes well for the future. By Douglas Lance Gibson | | | | | | | 
What:
Take Care Zine Distro
Where:
Online here
When:
24/7
How Much:
From 50c
| | 
| | The zines normally come to me. They sneak on to coffee tables nearby, or drape themselves conspiciously over friends' book shelves. They jostle for my attention in cafes, paper-cutting innocent bystanders queueing for their lattes. There's just something in the way my stars are aligned, because although I never set out to hunt down one of these papery gems they always find a way into my book bag.
All that is set to change because thanks to Take Care, I can now go TO the zines. Two dedicated zine zealots are behind the phenomenon, collecting the finest stapled samples from around the globe. You can read a little about each zine on the site, then order for as little as 50c. This just in - you can still buy things for 50c. | | The collection ranges from tiny whispers of poetry to full-blown colour graphics. You can find zine heavyweights like Vanessa Berry, and newcomers sharing emotional journeys and cookie recipes. Sushi Karoake sounds particularly cute, and comes with bonus 3D glasses! Have a look. By Jacqueline Breen | | | | | | | 
What:
Dead Lovers Twisted Heart
Who:
Daniel Johnston Drawing Exhibition
Where:
Monster Children Gallery, 20 Burton St, Darlinghurst
When:
Opens Thur Jan 28, 6pm
Runs until Feb 13
How much:
Free
Image:
Courtesy of Monster Children Gallery View map
| | 
| | Daniel Johnston's songs are pregnant with visuals, so it's not hard to imagine this white bear of rock as a seminal pilgrim of both pencil and song. Daniel draws just like he sings - harrowing recitals that eat at your heart strings. Drawn pages of cracked nuts, anthropomorphic stumps and monster children dance with bitter hope and confusion around the intimacies, accidents, raw chords and uncomfortable notes we oft try to suppress. There is no restraint as he plugs into American eccentricity, demons, love and dirt. | | Taking the weight of our world inside for regurgitation and wrestling with mental illness can't have been a piece of toast. But as seen in the Dead Lovers Twisted Heart exhibition, his visual outputs document a colourful odyssey that's less like a nursery rhyme, more like the news. They're a fantasy of the real. If songs transpose as contemporary poems, then these pictures are worth a novel.
He'll be storytelling in both mediums tonight with the help of a legend if you can take the push-crush-to-see-the-white-bear fight. By Lisa Lerkenfeldt | | | | | | | | | 
What:
The Road
Where:
In cinemas from Jan 28
Watch Trailer:
Here
Win:
Thanks to Icon, we have 5 dbls! To enter, email win@twothousand.com.au with the subject line ‘Are we still the good guys?'
| | 
| | What foolio made that absurd, misleading trailer? The Road is no action-packed post-apocalyptic thriller. Readers of Cormac McCarthy's novel will be familiar with its episodic, elegiac and even allegorical tone, which John Hillcoat (The Proposition) has beautifully captured. Indeed, I feel strongly that people who've read The Road will have a very different (but no less powerful) cinematic experience to those who haven't.
It's bleak all right, but what surprised me - and might also surprise those new to the story - was its pervasive sense of hope, tenderness and even beauty. In a dying world devastated by an unspecified catastrophe, the remaining humans survive by theft, brutality and cannibalism. | | But love and human decency sustain a father (Viggo Mortensen) and his son (Kodi Smit-McPhee, soon to star in the American remake of Let The Right One In) defying their wife and mother's (Charlize Theron) flinty cynicism.
Smit-McPhee, especially, is wonderful: innocent without that icky child-star cutesiness. The supporting cast (whose roles amount to cameos) add depth to the moral maze. Those new to the story may find the tension nigh-unbearable and some explicit scenes shocking, but I found The Road deeply affecting. Stay for the bittersweet closing credits. By Mel Campbell | | | | | | | 
What:
Pendleton Blankets
Where:
South West Trader, 36 Oxford St, Paddington or online here
How much:
From $150-$750, depending on size
| | 
| | "The round stones beneath the earth have spoken through the fire. Things which are alike, in nature, grow to look alike, and the speaking stones have lain a long time looking at the sun." Nobody - Dead Man (1995) dir. Jim Jarmusch
In this country, spirituality is as rare as peyote. We look all too often to utility, forgetting our own experience in the process. "Trade blankets", also known as the "wearing blanket", are an important part of the Native American heritage and combine the practical with the mystical.
The classic Navajo trade blanket is as much about the wearer as the object. When wrapped around the shoulders with the two sides joined in front the design comes together and completes itself, placing the wearer at the centre of the universe. | | Over time, these blankets also adopt their own personality. Constantly exposed to the interior or exterior world around them "Heirloom" Trade Blankets can tell a story and come to life when a person getting inside and the present meets the past.
Pendleton is the sole surviving manufacturer of such blankets from the original era and it is said that to those who are open to experiencing their various designs, will begin to find beauty in unexpected places. Just like Peyote. By Chris Barton | | | | | | | | | 
What:
2204 Where:
106 Addison Rd, Marrickville When:
Mon-Fri 6am-5pm, Sat-Sun 7am-5pm
NB: times will change once the kitchen and bar are operating How much:
Bacon & egg roll $5, coffee from $3.30 Contact:
9569 2214 View map
| | 
| | There's a recipe thus: room of bare bricks, minimal installation, vintage or otherwise-recovered furniture, correct lighting, irreverent decoration, food and drinks. Chingalings kinda did it, Pocket took the same approach, and now 2204 is in on the act. For the record, I like it.
This little recess on the Addison Road is commendable for a bunch of things, not least of which is the decision to open on Addison Road - a delightful thoroughfare, but not quite as commercially viable as, say, Crown Street might be for a cafe. | | The aforementioned circumstances have created something distinct in the area, which is comfortable as a cafe but will lend itself even better to the coming plans to operate it as a bar. The kitchen's just gone in, with full breakfast menu starting next week, and Little Marionette is the bean of choice. The success of this place should be anticipated, as it'd prove at least two things: one, that cafe-bar ventures are not exclusively endemic to the 2010 postcode; and two, that the inner west can sustain more than just coffee shops for Annandale dads. By Alex Vitlin | | | | | | | 
What:
Sydney Roller Derby League Try Outs Where:
UTS/Sydney Boys' High Stadium, Cleveland St, Moore Park When:
Sun Feb 7, 1pm-3pm (skills clinic)
Sun Feb 14, 1pm-3pm (try outs) Who:
Ladies only! How much:
Free, but you will need skates (preferably quads), knee pads, elbow pads, wrist guards and a helmet Contact:
aprillathehun@yahoo.com
| | 
| | Got a pair of skates? A competitive spirit? A desire to dislocate your jaw or snap a femur in the pursuit of victory? Elbows? Well then line up, gals - it's roller derby try out time!
They say you'll need at least basic skating skills, which is why we're giving you a bit of advance warning - so you can practice! It's a week and a half until the 'skills clinic', where they'll run you through the standard drills (you know, mashing opponents' vital organs and the like) and give you an idea of whether you've got the minerals to play with the big girls. Then, the following week, it's crunch time (hopefully not in a literal sense). | | In case you didn't catch my subtle (read: terrified) hints, this is a FULL CONTACT SPORT, so bring a mouth guard or bid farewell to your teeth, because shit gets hectic. You will also need a healthy does of fearlessness, and by the looks of things, fishnets. By Alice Fenton | | | | | | | | | | What:
Arkestra
Where:
Oxford Art Factory, 38-46 Oxford St, Darlinghurst
When:
Thur Jan 28, 7pm
How much:
Free View map | | Description:
Listen up slackers. You've had things too easy, musically, so get that game face on and concentrate. The Difficult Music Festival is kicking on at the cosy Sedition Gallery*, and we recommend you squeeze in for the space-rock drone of Arkestra, featuring Aleesha Dibbs and Jasper Clifford-Smith. These tunes are dense and intense, and best enjoyed with eyes closed and mind open. The festival wraps up at the month's end, so get down there because often it's the tricky things that are the most rewarding. Here's to doing things the hard way. - JB *except for this gig, which has moved to OAF! | | | What:
Deep Sea Arcade Single Launch
Where:
GOODGOD Small Club, 55 Liverpool St, City
When:
Thur Jan 28, 9pm
How much:
$10
Win:
A dbl pass. To enter, email win@twothousand.com.au with the subject 'Almost better than deep sea David Attenborough' View map | | Description:
Lonely In Your Arms is the kind of wistful melancholy that you whisper to yourself as you sit curled up with a warm cup of tea and a heart full of longing. It's also the name of Deep Sea Arcade's latest single, so there might be a bit of wistful melancholy at their end, too. They're launching it with special guests Shady Lane and Jingle Jangle DJs. - VH | | | What:
Retro Gaming Weekend
Where:
Powerhouse Museum, 500 Harris St, Ultimo
When:
Fri Jan 29 6pm-9pm, Sat Jan 30 and Sun Jan 31, 10am-5pm
How much:
Museum entry $10/$6 View map | | Description:
Just the other night, mentally and physically drained after some intense DJ Hero, my mates and I rediscovered Sonic. With trippy bonus levels and that warm fuzzy feeling, games like this were easy, linear and fun as hell. If you didn't heed my advice and check out The 80s are Back, then do so now with their upcoming Retro Gaming Weekend. With various talks, workshops and endless nostalgic playtime, relive the golden age of gaming. And yeah, I know Sonic was from the early 90s but you get the idea... games were better back then. - JP | | | What:
Pedal Workshop
Where:
Serial Space, 33 Wellington St, Chippendale
When:
Sun Jan 31, 2pm-4pm
How much:
$10, reserve a spot here View map | | Description:
If Sabbath and Electric Wizard taught us anything, it's how to rip a bong. Nah kidding, it's the power of custom effects. If you're anything like me, you don't know squat about squat when it comes to effects pedals, but you're totally willing and wanting to learn. Because, lets face it, all we want to do is whip out a bass, turn up the fuzz and play open 'til we feel like Geezer Butler. This Sunday, $10 will get you schooled at a pedal workshop, and an original fuzz pedal of your own. Now all you need is a bass and some shaving cream for your metal mane. - HM | | | What:
Geometries of Attention
Where:
Serial Space, 33 Wellington St, Chippendale
When:
Opens Wed Feb 3, 6pm
Runs until Sun Feb 7
How much:
Free View map | | Description:
Three interactive installations by Rene Christen and Astrid Lorange look at how a poem is formed from a jumble of nothing into a synchronised and fragile hole. As you walk around touching and provoking the installations, the poems happen. It's a simplified and hands-on approach to teaching the formation of poetry. I figure I'll give it a shot, since my ninth grade english teacher's explanation of Kubla Khan still doesn't make any sense. - HM | | | What:
Frida Hyvönen
Where:
Paddington Uniting Church, Paddington
When:
Thur Feb 11, doors 7pm
How much:
$27 +BF from here Win:
A dbl pass. To enter email win@twothousand.com.au with the subject line "Hee-Vo-Nen" | | Description:
It's taken Guy Blackman a long time to convince Swedish pop goddess Frida Hyvönen (Hee-Vo-Nen) to come out here and play a show. Even though we have never heard of her, Frida is a household name in Sweden and has a 24 hour armed guard of drummers and soaring back-up vocalists. Her latest album Silence is Wild has been out on Chapter for a while and now, thanks to GB's phone manner and powers of persuasion, we will finally be able to hear it live. Pikelet is in on the action, as well she should be and Jens Lekman will be back on decks. - Us. | | | | | | | | | 
| | 
| | You know what's harder than making a word out of scrabble letters that look something like X,Q,W,K,D,M,K? Finding a cure for breast cancer. Those scientist guys have been going at it for years, and they're still stumped. Wearing lab coats and peering into microscopes might look like fun, but despite what the 80s told us, science isn't all about conjuring sweet Frankenstein babes out of thin air. Thus, boosies around the world are still in danger.
What can you do to help these innocent mammaries? Well, you can start by smashing your siblings/cousins/neighbours/friends in a game of Scrabble. But it only counts if the Scrabble board is pink. You can slam down DISEQUILIBRATED on a regular board all you like and it won't make a dime of difference. The special edition Pink Scrabble boards are available from leading toy stores for around $54.99, but we have one to give away for free! To enter, just answer the following question: | | This week's question:
X,Q,W,K,D,M,K spells
a) boobs!
b) fuck this we should have played Guess Who! It puts the fun in racist.
c) xqwkdmk. xqw.kd.mk [ex-cue-WA-kay-dee-EM-kah] - noun. The noun that means I'm gonna whip your ass on the triple letter score. Origin: 1275-1325; SP ex-culpa
d) buy a vowel
Send your answer, name and mailing address to win@twothousand.com.au. Winners will be notified by email. Subsciber only entry! Not a subscriber? It's free you frankenfurters. Sign up here.
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| TwoThousand is a weekly snapshot of Sydney's subculture, fired by email into the loving arms of people who realise that the best things in life are often hard to find. It is compiled by an amorphous gaggle of writers, stylists, designers and photographers who all like huddling under that big umbrella we call creativity. Without editorial independence TwoThousand has nothing. All editorial you read is featured because it's worth it - not because it's paid for. ADVERTISING PARTNERSHIPS
TwoThousand is a trusted and proven medium for advertisers to engage with Sydney's most elusive individuals - our subscribers. Each issue offers one advertiser the opportunity to have sole presence in the e-newsletter. A variety of placements (three, to be exact) are also available on twothousand.com.au. For more information on advertising with TwoThousand, contact: MANAGING DIRECTOR
Francesco Nazzari
frunch@rightanglestudio.com.au FEEDBACK
Have something to say? Then say it by emailing editorial@twothousand.com.au. DISCLAIMER
The information in TwoThousand is subject to change. Although we attempt to ensure that the content at the time of publication is correct, we do not guarantee its accuracy or currency. Right Angle Studio accepts no responsibility to you or anyone else arising from any use or reliance on the information contained in TwoThousand or any inaccuracy in the information. The views and opinions expressed on material included in TwoThousand may not reflect those of Right Angle Publishing. | | CONTACT
Right Angle Studio
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Darlinghurst, NSW, 2010
(02) 9358 2707 POSTAL
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Barrie Barton
barrie@rightanglestudio.com.au PUBLICATIONS MANAGER
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matt@rightanglestudio.com.au SENIOR EDITOR
Nadia Saccardo
nadia@rightanglestudio.com.au EDITOR
Lisa Lerkenfeldt
lisa@rightanglestudio.com.au DEPUTY EDITOR
Alice Fenton
alice@rightanglestudio.com.au OUT EDITOR
Hayley Morgan
hayley@rightanglestudio.com.au EDITORIAL ASSISTANT
Cleo Braithwaite
cleo@rightanglestudio.com.au WATCH EDITOR
Mel Campbell
mel@rightanglestudio.com.au EAT/DRINK EDITOR
Alex Vitlin
alex@rightanglestudio.com.au
HEAR EDITOR
Wilfred Brandt
wilfred@rightanglestudio.com.au STREET PHOTOGRAPHERS
Rafaela Pandolfini CONTRIBUTING MONKEYS
Penny Modra
Max Olijnyk
Rachel Surgeonor
Danielle Marsland
Luke Malone
Patrick Collins
Chris Barton
Jacqueline Breen
Dougas Lance Gibson OUT CONTRIBUTORS
Jacqueline Breen
Joseph Porpeglia
Vivian Hyunh INTERNING MONKEYS
Michael Walker
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ISSUE 323Feb 02 - Feb 09 2012
ISSUE 322Jan 25 - Feb 01 2012
ISSUE 321Jan 19 - Jan 26 2012
ISSUE 320Jan 12 - Jan 19 2012
ISSUE 319Dec 22 - Dec 29 2011
ISSUE 318Dec 15 - Dec 22 2011
ISSUE 317Dec 08 - Dec 15 2011
ISSUE 316Dec 01 - Dec 08 2011
ISSUE 315Nov 24 - Dec 01 2011
ISSUE 314Nov 17 - Nov 24 2011
ISSUE 313Nov 10 - Nov 17 2011