The Thousands

Robert Coleman’s interview with Bret Easton Ellis started badly, or well, depending on your definition of either term. Read on for part 2, in which Coleman’s questions run out, and Bret asks "So how are we going to wrap this up?"

Robert Coleman – Okay, so are you going to be re-introducing any characters in future works?

Bret Easton Ellis – No. Because I don’t think there’ll be any future works.

R - Why’s that?

B – Because I’m not necessarily interested in writing a novel now.

R – You’re hanging up the boots?!

B- Despite the gin drinking and the hat from France, you still have a bit of optimism in you, don’t you? You still have a bit of that shining light in you. That question is about optimism.

I’m more interested in TV and film. I’m writing movies all the time and none of them get made and I’ve worked on many TV series and none of them have gotten made. And I’ve finally gotten to where I am right now, and I’m happy about it.

R – Do you like the challenge of things not being made?

B- No, that’s a problem, because when you’re really creative it can get depressing. I think that this TV series I’ve been working on, which I don’t want to get into at all, is like the ‘novel’ right now. But when it all falls apart, and the pilot doesn’t get made, then I’ll start re-thinking my options and just move on…

R – There’s your optimism. You have optimism too.

B – I do have an optimism… No, no, no. I just pointed out yours. 

R – Do you do this a lot? Try and read people? Try and work out roughly what they’re about?

B- It depends on the person. You came in and there was something about you that was off and I couldn’t read that. I thought, ‘This is not your usual journo, there’s something else that’s off about this guy.’

R – There’s a lot off.

B- This, this right now, happens very rarely, and this is the only time it has happened in Australia. You get the more real me than anyone has gotten so far. I really don’t want to answer these questions but I want to hear the rest of them. I want to hear the next question read, straight faced.

—-

R – Is it strange how your book, American Psycho, looks more like a porno now in its plastic sheath?

B – I love it. I want the entire fucking catalogue in a giant sandwich bag. It is pornographic.

R – Do you set out to create controversy, like with Patrick Bateman?

B – Patrick Bateman was about me.
 
R – So Patrick Bateman wasn’t about your father?

B- No, no! I lied about that. I bullshitted at the time because I didn’twant to finally own up to the responsibility of being Patrick Bateman, so I laid it on my father, I laid it on Wall Street and…

R – Have you ever killed a man?

B- I thought I had. I thought I had driven someone to suicide. Then I found out he had faked his suicide. I can show you emails.

R – And you had no idea women would be pissed off by Patrick Bateman?

B- No! I thought serial killers would be pissed off, not women. And women are now are my biggest audience. I can’t believe it! I realised this when I was in NY, my first public appearance in like six years. There were thousands of people at this Barnes and Noble and usually there’s like twenty…

R – So you were doing a little masturbating over it? 

B – Is that what you look like masturbating? That little monkey face?

R - No. What’s your sex face?

B – My orgasm face? Well my eyes are crossed – the entire time.

R – Okay, back to your story.

B- So one of the first girls who came up to me, very pretty and maybe like 23, leans in and whispers: "This is one of the first books I ever read … I was 14 when I read this", and I said "What the fuck were you doing reading this (American Psycho) when you were 14?" and she said "This was the first book that taught me how to masturbate."

R – Jesus…

B- So, okay… Controversy! I wrote the book because it was about me, and about me at the time, and I wrote about all my rage and feelings and I pushed that into this guy named Patrick Bateman and he was a reflection of me…

R – Hmmm, do you ever freak yourself out a little?
 
B – I’m sorry… do you have a freaky… ?

R – No, do you ever freak yourself out a little with what you think about?

B- I used to freak myself out all the time, I’m trying to ween myself off of that, because it’s just too fucking miserable. I noticed that once I stopped doing it, I didn’t want to be around other people that were doing it either.

R – Do you think too much though?

B – Yeh! But I’m trying to stop that as well. I really am. You can think too much and fuck yourself up.

R - How do you stop it?

B – Meditate. Why don’t you try meditating for an hour?

R – I can’t meditate.

B - Well then, you’re screwed! 

R – Right, so all the questions are gone!

B- So how are we going to wrap this up? What are you going to say? How are you going to end this interview? And while you do that I’m going to sign your book … Actually, you know how I’m going to end this interview?

R - No?

B – What is your name?

R – Bullshit? It’s Robert F.

B – Robert F? What does the F stand for…?

R – Francis. Or ‘Funky’.

B – Keep it consistent, Francis.

R – I’m sorry. That was nerve-damaging. Want to go smoke a Marlboro?

B - Let’s see if we can. I’m going to use the rest room. Hold on.