The Thousands

This book is an asshole. It is described by its author as "an absurd work of absolutely no distinction", while its blurb explains that it’s "ultimately for the love of Chlamydia".

Artist Jake Chapman, former dictator of Hell, has a habit of conceptually exploring the anatomical and pornographic grotesque. He is british, likes his parody black and mannequins naked. Take for example the time he and his brother Dinos fused genitalia to the faces of a series of child mannequins.

In his first work of romantic fiction find 308 pages of slaughtered english, bloated with adverbs and inscrutable language. Without will you will not survive it.**Trailing the engaged-to-another Chalmydia Love’s tryst with midget Helmut Mandragorass, a best selling author and owner of the island of Morass, this rife parody is thankfully dappled with page breathers, namely; 24 colour plates of Chlamydia’s watercolours (Visions of Morass), scanned manuscript portions from Helmut’s book and rejection letters from dignified publishing houses.

Will Self describes it aptly when saying, "His first novel is triumphantly, insanely and beauitfully unreadable – my eyes bled."