The Thousands

Ok, so for $2 you get bacon, sausage and eggs, only scrambled eggs. You also get two hash browns and half a tomato. Fried. Cut in half. The bacon looked like it was steamed. It was sloppy bacon. It tasted steamed. There’s no toast, no bread. If you want anything extra you have to buy it. I think bread was maybe like a dollar.

You get one sausage, I’m pretty sure it’s pork, medium size maybe like 4 – 5 inches. I thought at first maybe it’s all Swedish product, but I can’t imagine that it is. The two hash browns are triangle shaped, very well proportioned, good Swedish design. There’s a big sign on the table that tells you to take your tray back.

At 10.30am on the dot it ends. 90 percent of people eating there weren’t even shopping there. The people were all fat. Honestly, the only skinny people were me, my girlfriend and the staff. I guess they don’t eat there. I think I might have put on weight since then. Then at 10.30am the other stuff comes out. Swedish meatballs, salmon fillets, steaks. I was in Ikea for six and a half hours and I ate there at 10am and 2.30pm. The meatballs are the best. My girlfriend didn’t mind the salmon fillets. It’s not somewhere you want to take someone on a date. Oh, and while we were there we actually saw a real Swedish couple. They weren’t eating at the restaurant.

*As told to Nadia Saccardo. Source requested to remain anonymous